Lady in Waiting

January 30

2012-01-30T14:11:00.002-05:00

Life is really flying by. Before I know it, I'll be 85, sittin on the front porch in a rocking chair, reflecting on days gone by. Seriously! I try to make the most of every day. Okay, let me rephrase that. I try to make the most of my time with Claire, and my time with Paul. Other than that, I can't honestly say I try to make the most of everything. But that's okay. Even savoring every moment with my child doesn't slow down time. If anything, time is going faster now. I mean, my BABY is WALKING. Yes, she's been walking for a few months now, but sometimes it really hits me, you know? She can almost run. She's into EVERYthing. And I love it. I love her so much.

She's been sick the past few days. She got some vaccines last Tuesday, and I think her sickness was from that. She's had a runny nose and fever since Friday, though this morning her fever was finally gone. It was a long weekend! (Didn't I just say how time was flying? Yeah, not this weekend.) I didn't do a thing except nurse her (literally and figuratively). She she's on the mend, thank goodness.

Actually, on Saturday morning I did attend a meeting of the Real Diaper Circle of Wayne County. I didn't want to go since C was sick, but they moved the meetings to Saturday pretty much just for me (they were having them during the week), so I felt like I had to go. It was okay. Angela went with me. It was nice to be around other mother who use cloth diapers, but it was crazy. Everyone brought their kids. We had kids from 12 weeks to 3 years there, and the bigger ones were LOUD. Like so loud I really couldn't hear anything the mothers said. And one kid stole Claire's toy TWICE, right out of her hand! I didn't say anything because I didn't think I should. I guess it shouldn't have made me mad, kids will be kids, whatever. But my child is not used to bein around other kids, and she doesn't even know how to react to them. She just sat in my lap and stared at them the whole time. Granted, she had a fever, but I think she would have done that anyway. I don't blame her. They were scary!

Paul and I have been planning our vacation. We're going to spend 3 days in Charleston, SC, and we are possibly spending one day in Myrtle Beach before heading back home. I can't wait! I want to get away so bad. I wish we could afford to stay away for a week or more, but this will do just fine.

I've been on Pinterest lately. Awesome site, but a little confusing to me still. I'm figuring it out. I see so many things on there I love, but I know I'll never get around to doing it. Like beautifying the laundry room. I found a gorgeous picture of one today on Pinterest and I am in love with it. The walls are a pretty blue color, the cabinets and trim are white. There's a white chandelier and a white shelf above the washer and dryer. That's it. My walls are white (my concession to Paul's insisting that we have at least one room be painted white), but my cabinets are blue. I love it, but it needs more. I want a shelf, which will actually be more functional than decorative. I want to hang a picture on the wall, and get magnets for the freezer in there so I can put pictures on that. And I want a chandelier! That is the coolest idea! Now to figure out how to broach this subject with Paul...!

Jan. 6, 2012 - the Ginch is gone!

2012-01-06T15:46:00.002-05:00

I was in a major funk for much of December. I feel much better now. I guarantee its these dang birth control pills. Maybe it'll keep gettin better.

Christmas turned out okay. Not wonderful, but okay. All my worries about pleasing everyone on Christmas morning were solved for me, though it wasn't pleasant. Mama ended up getting really sick Christmas Eve night. She threw up all night, and was still sick the next morning. Aunt Jeanette stayed up with her all night, and called me the next morning to tell me not to go over there. So we had breakfast at Paul's parents', then went to church, then had lunch at his Grandma's, then went to my Grandma's. We got home around 3:30-4 and just relaxed for a little while, then had supper at Paul's parents'. It was a long day. We ended up going to my Mama's the next night, when she was feeling better.

Claire acted funny off and on Christmas day, and that night was throwing up. The next day, she got a runny nose. We had an appointment Tuesday already for her 12 months shots, so we took her in. I'm so glad we did, because in addition to her cold, she had an ear infection. Her first one. :( She just finished up her antibiotics yesterday, and I think she's over it. She also started cutting her top 2 teeth over Christmas. Poor baby's been pretty miserable lately! One of the top teeth finally broke through last Saturday (12/31), and the other one is peeking through today.

At least she's been sleeping through the night again. With all the running around for Christmas, her bedtime routine got out of wack. Some nights she didn't go to bed until 10. But now she's back to bein asleep by 8:30, and sleeps until usually 6, sometimes later. Thankfully!! I'm sure lack of sleep affected me as well last month.

Paul and I are planning on a trip to Charleston next month for our 3 year anniversary. I'm so excited! It'll be a bit of a challenge with Claire, since it will probably be really cold and there's so much walking to do in that city, but we'll manage. It'll be great to get away, just the three of us.

Paul got me some jumps for Christmas, and I've been riding and jumping again. And having a ball! I forgot how much I love to jump. Poor Sunshine, though! I bet she's not happy with me, haha.

Okay this post is totally all over the place, but I'm in a good mood and my mind is cluttered. ( :

Dec. 22 - I'm still a Grinch

2011-12-22T10:45:00.002-05:00

I'm just not feelin Christmas this year. I'm lookin forward to Claire openin her presents, but that's it. And really, I've seen her open so many presents already this week, its not even a big deal anymore. I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe I'm havin some kind of wierd, delays post-partum depression. Who knows. Or maybe its the birth control I started a few weeks ago. I'm super-sensitive to that crap, and I haven't had any in my system since the summer of '09. I'm on the "mini pill," which is progesterone only, but it stiff affects me. I bet that's what it is. Stupid hormone pills!!!

But, really, we don't need another baby right now. I'd LOVE another one (or 5, haha), but not right now. I never thought I'd be one of those women who wants lots of kids, but I've turned into that. Maybe I should see how I handle Claire's "terrible 2s" first, though!

She has been SO fussy lately. Last night, we finally understood why - she's gettin another tooth. This one's on top. Finally. She's had 2 bottom teeth since August, and no signs of any more until now. I was beginning to think she didn't have any more in there!

But her teething is not the only thing we can blame her behavorial changes on. Since she started walking, she's Miss Independence, and if you try to get her to do somethin (or not do somethin) that's not her idea, she rebels! She can arch her back all crazy, she'll throw her head back, and let out this gutteral scream that sounds less like a sweet baby girl and more like some kind of tortured demon. Seriously. And she can turn on the waterworks in a heartbeat (and turn them off just as quickly!). I have a feeling her teenage years are gonna be interesting...God help us.

So yesterday when I went to pick her up after work, Paul's parents had another present for her to open. Her very own toy tractor. She absolutely loves it. Paul's mother also baked a cake, and we all ate some and attempted to get Claire to eat some. She wasn't scared of it, but wasn't interesting in tasting it, either. She smashed her hands all into it, and kept lookin at them like, "ew!" After a few minutes she was ready for me to clean her hands. Such a little diva, can't get dirty!

I am thisclose to bein done with my Christmas shopping. I don't think I've ever not been done this close to Christmas. All I have left to do is pick up a few gift cards, though, so its not a big deal. And I have a little more wrapping to do.

I usually love to wrap presents, but this year its been such a hassle for me. I have zero motivation to wrap. The only time I can wrap is when Claire is asleep, so usually after 9pm. (Every night, she goes to sleep around 8-8:30, but I nurse her to sleep, so I'm glued to her, and then I have to let her get into a deep sleep before I can put her down in the crib. Maybe I should have her putting herself to sleep by now, but oh well.) And by then I'm just so tired, or there's too many other, more pressing things to do. Like last night, there was a sink full of dishes that I wanted to wash before bed. And I wanted to get the diapers folded that I'd washed after work. And I wanted to reorganize Claire's dresser because it was too crowded in there. Why didn't my husband help with the dishes or folding or wrapping presents? Good question. He was busy watching TV. There are just not enough hours in the day for me. I could get everything done with no problem if I didn't want to spend time with my daughter. Its just, when I get home from work I know I only have 2-3 hours with her before she goes to sleep, and I like to make the most of that time. She usually doesn't get up in the mornings until I wake her up, so I don't get to spend much time with her then. So my 2-3 hours after work is my only time with her until the weekends. Depressing. I can get a lot done with her "helping" me, but I'd rather do something fun with her. And no, my house is not spic-and-span these days, but it is orderly (except for my desk, haha) and for the most part neat. I'm not a freak about cleaning it. But I do like to keep it where I don't have to say "sorry for the mess" when someone comes to visit. Aaaaaand, once again, I'm back to "I wish I could be a stay-at-home-mom." Or work part-time. But there's no way.

And once again, I'm ending on a negative note. Sorry.

Dec. 19

2011-12-19T16:20:00.003-05:00

In 2 days I'll have a one-year-old. I STILL can't believe it!!

So Claire's party was interesting. It was pointed out to me on Saturday that some people didn't get invitations, and I realized that I forgot some people. Like Paul's great-aunt that lives down the road from us. Whoops. Despite the people I forgot, there were still about 75 people on the list, and we fully expected the majority of those to come. So I bought enough party stuff for about 85-90 people, just in case. (Luckily, I bought everything at the dollar store!) So Sunday we went to Rhodes with my family, and then rushed home to get changed for the party. The plan was to get back to the church at 1:30 to get everything set up. Well, Claire had a meltdown at home. She was tired and ready for a nap, but we didn't have time for her to take a nap at home. So we left early hoping that once we got there, I'd nurse her and get her to sleep, while Paul and his sister set up for the party. Claire had a MAJOR meltdown in the car. Screamed bloody murder. When we got to the church, I realized I didn't have a key to the fellowship hall, and of course it was locked. I tried to nurse C in the car, but she was too upset and wouldn't. Somehow, Paul got into the church (I never asked how!), but C was just still so upset. Karen came and started helpin Paul, and then Mama showed up. So I handed C to her, and of course the little booger calmed right down and was actin fine! Mama fed her some squash and played with her while we all set up the tables and everything.

At 2pm, we were barely finishing up the decorations, but no one was there yet. People started to trickle in slowly, but everyone just came in, sat down, and stared at C. It was kinda awkward. Kyle was late, and he had the picture/music slideshow, so it was really quiet for a while. Claire kept us all entertained, though. She was runnin around with a beach ball, havin a blast. She loves bein the center of attention!

Around 2:45 we realized that most of the people we'd invited weren't coming. My grandma wasn't there, one of my aunts wasn't there, and neither of Paul's aunts were there. Daddy was runnin late from work, so we decided to wait on him before doin the cake. Mama called Grandma, who said she thought the party was "floating," and she had planned on coming later! Grr. As soon as Daddy got there, we cut a piece of cake for C and sang to her. As expected, she wouldn't eat the cake. She did touch it, though, which was a leap. We tried to get her to taste it, but she wasn't havin any of it!

So we all ate cate, ice cream, and chips, and C munched on chips. Then we moved on to the presents. She was more into that! At first she didn't understand what to do, but it didn't take her long to figure out how to rip off paper. She was scared of most of her presents though! Several people got her stuffed animals that moved and talked, and she doesn't like that at all. haha. She did love the baby 4-wheeler Paul and I got her.

We were out of the church by around 4:30, thanks to everyone to stayed and helped clean up! Claire was exhausted cause she still hadn't had a nap, and she fell asleep soon after we got home. She only slept for 30 minutes, though. I tried to get her to go to bed at her usual time, but she was too tired and couldn't sleep. Her eyes were bloodshot, but she was laughin and just hyper. Around 9:30 she finally crashed. But then she was up most of the night, starting at midnight. *sigh* It was a long night.

Overall, it was a nice party and she had a good time, and that's what really mattered. I was disappointed in sevearl people for not coming. But whatever. We know who really cares about her now, I guess!

I'm so ready for this season of special days to be over and life can get back to normal. I'm such a Grinch this year!

Dec. 16

2011-12-16T14:27:00.002-05:00

Claire will be 1 in 5 days. Woah!

We've been really busy lately. Lots of Christmas stuff goin on. Claire's 12 month pictures went great. We were very happy witht he pictures, and I just got my order in today. We ordered pictures for almost everyone on our Christmas list, haha. Claire did have a meltdown at the end of the photo session, but by that point Erica had already gotten great shots. Stupid me forgot the cake though! The plan was to take her pictures in her Christmas dress and birthday outfit, then put on a pink t-shirt and her tutu and let her eat a gigantic cupcake my friend made. It was really cute. Well, I brought everything but the cake! But it turned out okay since she had her little meltdown at the end.

And...she turned out to be terrified of the cake! Paul and I tried the next night to take our own pictures, and Claire wouldn't have anything to do with the cake! We tried again another night, and she touched it, but then seemed freaked out that the frosting was on her fingers, and wouldn't let us put any in her mouth. So we gave up on the cake idea! Silly baby. We were gonna order a small cake for her birthday party, but we've decided not to since she probably won't touch it. So we've ordered a humongous sheet cake from Food Lion and we'll just give her a piece of that. If she does eat it, we'll still get cute cake-face pictures, so its all good.

The birthday party invitations was almost a disaster. For some reason, they were shipped UPS instead of going through the USPS. The UPS driver put them in the yard, and of course the dogs ripped into the package. When I got home - in the dark - I noticed pieces of paper all over the yard. When I realized what it was, I freaked out. Luckily, I was able to salvage about 40 of the invitations, so it wasn't a total loss. Many of them have teeth prints in them, though, and some are missing corners. *sigh* Oh, and I addressed all the envelopes that night before Paul realized that the envelopes were all SEALED from being outside all day! I was so mad. I was just thankful all the invitations weren't ruined, though. We'll certainly have lots of stories to tell Claire one day about her first birthday celebrations! Hopefully the party Sunday will go off without a hitch...

I went today to the Dollar Tree to get all the supplies for the party - balloons, plates, cups, etc. (Don't judge - the Dollar Tree around here has great party stuff, and everything's $1!) When I was ready to check out, the line for the register wrapped around the store. It was insane. This old lady behind me started talkin to me and the old lady in front of me. It was okay at first, she saw my decorations and I told her what they were for, then she launched into tales about her grandson, whom she'd recently thrown a surprise birthday party for. Then she told me about how her husband died when her grandson was 17 months, and how he reacted to the death and all this. THEN she started tellin us all these stories about fathers beheading their daughters, mothers drowing their kids or putting their babies in the mircowave...jeez! Totally depressed me. She wouldn't stop, either. I finally stopped lookin at her, and tried to ignore her, but she just kept on and on. Some people just need to stop watchin the news. I mean, really. When you see a young woman buyin birthday party supplies for her daughter, why would you ruin her mood by tellin her horrifying stories?! Grr.

I've always been sensitive to hearin stories like that, and I've always tried to avoid news stories about that type of thing, but its so much worse since last year. What with being pregnant, my ex-friend aborting her baby, and then actually havin my own baby, it just makes everything so much more intense for me. I STILL get upset over that abortion, and I haven't talked to that girl since May. I mean, I think about it daily. Sometimes I wonder if I should go to therapy about it. And then I feel stupid because it wasn't my decision and I had nothing to do with it. But its really affected me. I guess its worse because I lost a friend over it. Not that she was a great friend, but still. She had another baby a few weeks ago. I havne't seen pictures of him or anything, but I can see other people talking about him on facebook. Its wierd. Part of me wants to call her and congratulate her, and then I remember everything else and I don't. Okay, I have got to stop talkin about this, I'm gettin all depressed again...

Woah, I really meant for this to be a totally positive post. Whoops! Okay, so how's this for positive? (tongue-in-cheek) Here's our weekend schedule for the next 2 weekends:

tonight: out to eat for my brother's birthday
Dec. 18: church at my home church, Claire's party from 2-4, then to Eureka's Christmas play
Dec. 19: La Leche League meeting (I haven't been in a while, but I want to start going again)
Dec. 21: Claire's actual birthday!
Dec. 23: supper at my sister's house
Dec. 24: breakfast at my aunt's new house, and supper at Paul's great-aunt's house
Dec. 25: not sure how we're goin this day...Usually, we eat breakfast really early at Paul's mother's house and open presents with his siblings, then go to Mama's to do the same thing. Mama's not havin breakfast this year since Christmas is on Sunday and everyone is goin to church, which is why we're eating at my aunt's on Christmas Eve. But she wants us to go over there before church and open presents with her. Our church is at 10am, though, so its gonna be tricky. If we skip breakfast with Paul's family, he'll be upset and they'll be offended. If we skip goin to Mama's, I'll never hear the end of it, especially since we're not goin to church with her that day. *sigh* Moving on...after church, we'll have lunch at Paul's grandma's, exchange presents over there, then go to my grandma's and do the exact same thing. We'll probably eat supper at Paul's parents' that night. Which gives me a good idea...we should suggest skippin breakfast with them, since we'll be with them that night. Then we can go to Mama's before church, and everyone will be happy. Now to convince Paul that this is a good compromise...!
Okay, moving on. Im' off the 26th, thank goodness. I'm gonna be exhausted after all the runnin around! Claire's gettin her 12 month shots on the 27th, which I am dreading. And then the following Friday night we're going to eat supper with Paul's mother's side of the family. WHEW! I am tired just thinkin about the rest of this month. I love Christmas, but there is just way too much goin on to really enjoy it. Sometimes I wish we had moved away and couldn't see everybody on the same day!

Dec. 2

2011-12-02T11:33:00.002-05:00

Well, I just ordered the invitations to Claire's birthday party. Paul and I discussed it, and we decided to just plan the party and my mother could like it or not! Luckily, she seems to be okay with it. I made a guest list, and dang. Even with only invitin our close family and friends, there's around 75 people on the list! Our families are just way too big, haha. I'm hoping not everyone will come. I only ordered 50 invitations, and that should be plenty. We decided to have the party on the 18th, a Sunday, in the afteroon, 2-4pm. That way, people will have time to get to any other parties they have that night, or Christmas plays or whatever. And we wont' have to serve an actual meal. We're doin chips, cake, and ice cream and that's it. Sweet and simple. Now I'm lookin forward to it.

I'm also lookin forward to this Sunday. We're takin Claire to have her 12 month pictures taken. Yeah, she's not actually 12 months yet, but we want to be able to give prints as Christmas gifts to family. Usually, she's not so good at photo shoots, but I'm hopin she'll have fun at this one since she's older and can stand and walk. Plus, at the end we're givin her a huge cupcake to eat in front of the camera. I'm brinin my video camera for that one!

Oh yeah. The appointment with the specialist last week went really well. He said he wants to have a repeat ultrasound of her renal system done in 6 months to make sure the tubes aren't still swollen. But other than that, he said everything looked fine. So here's hoping that was her first and only UTI!!

That's it for today. Quick post. Gotta go pump and do a little Christmas/birthday shoppin on my lunch break. ( :

Photo Card

2011-12-02T11:27:00.001-05:00

Having Fun Girl Birthday

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Claire bday

2011-12-01T15:42:00.001-05:00

Having Fun Girl Birthday

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November 21

2011-11-21T14:55:00.003-05:00

Happy 11 months to my beautiful daughter! I'd insert some recent pictures here, but I'm at work and don't have my memory card with me. Just trust me when I say she is gorgeous. ( :

I don't have a whole lot to report. No new developments. We thought a few weeks ago that Claire's top teeth might be making an appearnce soon (so far she only has 2 on the bottom), but so far that hasn't happened. Not that I'm rushing it! I'm sure there will be a few bites to my boobs when the next teeth emerge, and I'm not lookin forward to that! (It hurts bad enough now, and there's only gums on top, ha!) She still hasn't graduated to REALLY walking yet, although she does let go of our fingers more and more now to walk on her own. Which terrifies us, so we usually end up walking behind her with our arms out making a circle around her. lol.

Tomorrow we go to a pediatric urologist in Cary. Claire had a UTI last month (while we were on vacation, of course!), and her regular pediatrician referred us to this specialist. I'm not really sure why. Sometimes doctors send babies to specialists with their first UTI, and some doctors wait until they get a 2nd one. But we had her renal system ultrasounded last month, and it showed some swelling of the ureter. But Dr. Cook said it was probably due to the infection, so we didn't worry too much. Then Claire just wasn't actin right one day, so I took her back to Dr. Cook, who called the specialist, who said he wanted to see her. We also had a VCUG test done, which basically checks to see if she has kidney reflux. (Instead of urine goin from the kidneys to the bladder and out, with reflux the urine goes back up into the kidneys. Which causes frequent infections and can end up damaging the kidneys.) Thankfully, the VCUG test was negative, though the radiologist's notes said that Claire's bladder wasn't emptying all the way. No one has said if that was a problem or not. We'll find out tomorrow, I guess. I do want to talk to the specialist because I feel like Claire pees a LOT. I don't have any previous experience with baby girls, but even Paul's mama said she pees an awful lot. Kidney problems run in my family, so I'm not taking any chances here. (And my 2 year old cousin has kidney reflux. SHe's been on antibiotics for a year now, and might have to have surgery.)

Paul and I are also gearing up to start planning for Caire's 1st birthday party. Its hard since its so close to Christmas, and so much is going on at that time. Plus, I don't want to have the party on her actual birthday. Its on a Wednesday, and we'll be at work and then she usually goes to bed around 8-8:30, so a party would be hard to squeeze in. Obviously, we can't have the party the weekend after her birthday, since that's Christmas. And the weekend before already has a lot goin on. We haven't decided anything yet. My mother wants to have a huge party and invite everyone in both our churches, plus our entire families. But Paul and I don't want that. We want something small and quiet. Should be interesting to see what actually happens.

So. I'm leaving work early tomorrow to go to Cary, my boss will be gone on Wednesday, and I'm off Thursday and Friday (Thanksgiving). Not a bad week!

November 8, 2011

2011-11-08T10:49:00.003-05:00

Wow, I can't believe I haven't updated this thing since January! I thought I'd be better at updating about Claire. Oh well. She amazes me, daily. It amazes me at how much I love her, and at how much I love bein a mama. I never thought I'd be like this. I went back to work February 9th, and I cried 1/2 the day. It was horrible. Its still really tough leaving her, even after almost 9 months of doing it. I HATE leavin her all day, even though I know she's in good hands with my mother-in-law. I wish all the time that there was a way we can live off just Paul's salary alone. I'd be a stay-at-home mom in a heartbeat! I missed a lot of her firsts, which is so sad. But I was the only one to see her take her first steps!

We're still breastfeeding, though I did introduce solids at 9 months. Actually, I let her try squash at 6 months, and she liked it but neither of us were quite ready for solids yet. So between 6 and 9 months she got solids occasionally, like maybe once or twice a week, if I remembered. At 9 months I finally gave in to everyone around me ("when are you gonna feed that baby?!" grr) and started her on solids once a day. Now, at 10 1/2 months, she still nurses as much as she wants when I'm around, has 2 bottles of breastmilk a day, and eats soilds for lunch and 2 snacks. She LOVES bananas, and some of her other favorite foods are sweet potatoes, apples, yellow squash, butternut squash, and carrots. And little puffs, bread, and crackers, oh and hushpuppies. So far, she doesn't like anything green, but I'm tryin not to worry about it too much. I'm gonna stop pumping at the end of the year, so she'll get more solids, but I'll still breastfeed her as much as she wants when we're together. I used to think people who breastfed after a year were crazy, but now I can't imagine stopping yet. I'm gonna let Claire decide that one.

My riding lesson business has really suffered since I had Claire, but that's okay. I taught up until the very end of my pregnancy, but it took me a lot longer than I expected to recover from delivery, and I lost a student or 2 in that time. I've still got little Erin, though she's still terrified to canter, so we just walk/trot. But that's okay. And the other girl, Claire, comes every once in a great while, but they're not consistent about bringin her. That's it. I have recently started ridin again, though. I rode probably 10 weeks or so after Claire's birth, but it exhausted me and I just found it so hard to peel myself away from Claire to go outside! Its still hard for me, but I'm gettin better about it. Lately, I ride on Sundays when she goes down for her long afternoon nap. That way I don't miss anything! ( :

I started riding Wiley again a few weeks ago. Surprisingly, he's been a perfect angel. I figured a year and 1/2 of nothing would ruin him, but he acts just like he did last year. I haven't cantered him yet, but at the walk and trot he remembers everything I taught him. He's so fat though! Once I get him in better shape, we'll start workin on jumping again. I don't ride Sunshine very often since she's my lesson horse, but I did hop on her this past Sunday. That was so much fun! We jumped, and I haven't done that in I don't know how long. Probably since last April, before I found out I was pregnant.

I am so out of shape, its not even funny. I have lost ALL my leg muscles. Of course, my arms and back are pretty good since I'm constantly pickin up and totin Claire around. But my legs? Ugh. And who has time to exercise! I gained 42lbs durin my pregnancy, and as of last week I've lost 56lbs. I weigh less than I did when I got married, and I was pretty small then. Its wierd. I eat like a pig, literally. I guess breastfeedin is gettin my body back to what it should be, weight-wise. Its nice to not have to wear "fat" clothes anymore, but now I'm to the point where most of my jeans are way too big on me and look sloppy. And I can't wear anything too tight cause I have so much loose skin on my stomach that it hangs over like a spare tire. Its gross! I look like someone who used to be huge and had gastric bypass. lol. Oh well. My skin'll be all stretched out for the next baby! (Whenever that may be! Ideally, I'd like another one when C is around 3, but who knows.)

January 17

2011-01-17T09:17:00.002-05:00

I love being a mommy. Seriously. I knew I would like it but not this much! I'm supposed to go back to work in 2 weeks or so. I've always said I would HATE bein a stay at home mom and I'd be ready to go back to work. But I was wrong. I could totally keep doin this. I don't want to go back to work next month. If we could afford it, I would totally ask Paul if I could stay home! But we can't. :(

Claire is awesome. I'm still figuring her out, but I pretty much know what she needs and wants most of the time now. Her new thing is she cries every night for a few hours. Its frustrating, but after that she has been sleeping most of the night, so I can't really complain. I did figure out that rock music calms her down when she's fussy. Its so funny! I guess they really can hear in the womb. I listen to rock more than anything, and I usually jam out on the way to and from work. So I guess she remembers that!

She changes a little every day. You can tell she's the same baby, but she looks nothing like she did when she was born. And she's developing mentally, too. She stays awake for longer periods during the day, and likes to look at colorful or moving things. And she smiles more. Soon she'll start cooing, and I can't wait for that! That's part of the reason I don't want to go back to work - I'm scared I'll miss something.

As for me, I'm slowly healing. Some days I feel great and I'll be really active. Then the next day I'll pay for it! I keep forgetting that my body went through a LOT recently and it takes a while to recover. I go for my 6 week check up in a few weeks though. Hopefully I'll get the go ahead to start exercising. I've lost most of my stomach, but I think the rest will stick around until I can work it off. I haven't weighed in over a week, but last time I checked I still had about 12 lbs to go to get back to my prepregnancy weight. I can wear one pair of non-maternity jeans, but they are a sie bigger than I usually wear. I can fit into all my old jeans in the butt, but I can't get them to button yet. Hopefully that will happen soon! Shirts are tricky, too. My boobs are humongous but I can still wear most of my old shirts. But I usually wear maternity shirts cause they are big on me now and its easier breastfeeding in a loose shirt.

My cousin Meredith got engaged last Friday night. It was exciting, but expected; she's been dating her fiance for over 3 years I think, so we all figured it would happen eventually! The wedding won't be until 2012 or 13, but she said I will be the matron of honor and Claire will be a flower girl. I try to picture Claire in a year or two, wearing a cute purple dress (cause that's Meredith's favorite color) and throwing flowers down the aisle. But I can't picture what she'l look like! Right now, her eyes are dark blue, but who knows if they'll stay that way. And right now, her hair is straight and fine and light brown/reddish (like mine), but most babies loose their hair after a few months and it can come back totally different.

Well that's enough gushing about my beautiful baby! ( :

Dec. 29, 2010 - Claire's birth story

2010-12-29T12:17:00.003-05:00

What a week its been! Obviously, since I haven't blogged since the 19th its safe to assume I had the baby. I'm looking at her right now, and it looks like she's waking up from her nap and will need a diaper change and another meal! So this will be completed in phases, I'm sure.

So the last thing I posted was early on the 19th. I called the hospital later that morning to see when I could go in to be checked and have the nonstress test done. They said they were full and they'd call me when I could go in. I went to church (but not Sunday school), then came back home and crashed on the couch. Paul cooked lunch, I think, but I can't remember it. I had a few contractions all day but nothing to concern me. Late in the afternoon, I decided to go and make up bags for the horses feedings, just in case. Then I came in and took a bath, since I was so tired and itchy. I was soaking in the tub when the hospital called. They said I could come in when I was ready, but to take my time cause Dr. Liese was going home for supper and to shower. This was at 5:30 or so.

So I finished my bath, told Paul to get ready. The hospital had said to eat a light meal, so I ate a PB&J sandwich even though I wasn't hungry. I figured we'd be there for maybe 2 hours max and we could just get supper afterwards. I finished packing my hospital bag, though, just in case. Mama wanted us to stop by her house on our way, and her and Daddy gave us an early Christmas present - a flip video camera. They said they wanted us to have it just in case they induced me that night.

We finally got to the hospital at 7:30. When I walked in the ER door a guy asked me if I was going to labor & delivery and I said yes. Paul had to go back to the car because he had his gun on him. The guy at the door said I'd need to get in a wheelchair and I said "but I'm not in labor" and he said I had to anyway. I checked in at the desk, he told me to sit in the chair and then whisked me away. Paul made it back just in time for the guy to tell him to go finish checking me in at the other desk, then to come to L&D. He took me to my room and told me to take off my clothes and put on a gown. I was a little confused. I figured I'd need a gown so my cervix could be checked, but I couldn't figure out why I needed a regular delivery room for all this.

A nurse (Nikki) came in and I changed into the gown. I laid on the bed and she immediately hooked up 2 monitors to me, one to monitor contractions and 1 to monitor the baby's heartbeat. I was having contractions, but not major ones. Paul made it to the room and he looked just as confused as I was. Another nurse came in and they started putting in my IV, which hurt like hell. I think my vein blew out or something, but they kept digging and oh man it hurt! They tried a different vein which didn't hurt so bad but it didn't work either. Finally a different nurse came in and popped the IV in on the other wrist on the first try. I asked Nikki why were we doing all this and she was like "you're being induced." I told her I thought we were just there for a cervix check and the nonstress test, and she said Dr. Liese must have miscommunicated with one of us. So, I was being induced and didn't even know it, haha!

From here on out, you may not want to read. I'm recording every detail I can remember, though I know most people don't want to hear about EVERYthing. But I want to remember.

Dr. Liese came in at 8:30 and inserted a cytotek pill into my cervix. This is a very risky drug but apparently they use it all the time. It ripens the cervix to prepare it for induction, and sometimes it makes contractions start on its own. Dr. L said it could take 6-12 hours to work, and I might need another dose after that. He said to expect to be in labor 24-48 hours. Wonderful news to hear when I was already exhausted from not sleeping all week! (And remember, the night before I hadn't slept at all until like 6am and then I got up at 8. And the night before that I only slept like 3 hours. So I started this whole ordeal very sleep-deprived and exhausted, physically and mentally.)

Around 4:30am my contractions started getting more intense and regular, but I wasn't in true labor yet. I had taken an Ambien pill around 11:30 the night before so I could try to get some rest, but I didn't really. The IV fluids had me getting up to pee every 30 minutes or so, which was a huge ordeal. I had to call the nurse, she had to unhook my monitors and follow me with the IV thing. Then when the contractions started to hurt I just couldn't get back to sleep. They weren't really painful enough to keep me awake, but I guess I was just excited.

Around 9am Dr. Welsh checked me (Dr. L's shift ended at 7am) and I was a fingertip dialated and 80% effaced - progress! The baby was at -2. At 9:15 they started the pitocin in my IV. Pitocin makes you have contractions. BAD ones. With natural contractions, they gradually build in intensity so that by the time you reach the peak of one, you're almost used to the pain (until they're really bad, but that doesn't happen until later in labor), then you get a gradual let down to no pain. That's how I'd been feeling until the pitocin started. Pitocin makes you feel nothing, then suddenly you're at the top of the contraction hurting really bad, then just as suddenly its over. Its exhausting.

Anyway, at noon the nurse checked me and I hadn't made any progress in dialation. It really wasn't a surprise; pitocin still takes a long time to make things really happen. Around 12:30 my head was hurting pretty bad and I was nauseated. They wouldn't let me eat or drink anything since I'd been in L&D. I was regretting eating only a PB&J at that point! I could have ice chips and that's it. So the nurse gave me stadol for my headache and phenegran for the nausea. After that, I don't remember a whole lot of details. Stadol makes you very loopy. My contractions got INTENSE. I would pass out between contractions and wake up for them and be in SO much pain. At some point I begged for more stadol, and I think I ended up with 2 more doses. I never screamed or made a fool out of myself, but I moaned and whimpered a lot.

So basically for about 2 hours I was in and out of consciousness and in the worst pain of my life. Finally, the nurse asked me if I'd ever had cryosurgery or anything like that and I said yes. She siad that explained a lot. Basically, I wasn't able to dialate any more because of scar tissue from my cryosurgery from years before (I had precancerous cells in my cervix). Not being able to dialate meant I was having bad contractions but not making any progress, which is not good. So around 1:45 the anesthesiologist came in and gave me an epidural. I've always heard they hurt, but I barely felt anything. Maybe because I was in so much pain already, I don't know. He had a hard time doing it, though, because I have scoliosis. He was like "did you know your spine is not straight? I'm having trouble getting the epi in..." But he did it and within a few minutes I was in heaven. About 2:30 Dr. Welsh came in and scraped off the scar tissue and broke my water. I was 100% effaced and 3-4 cm dialated.

Not long after all that, I started to feel pain again in my left side. It was like the epidural wasn't working as well on that side, probably because of my crooked back. Sometime around 4:30 they gave me a stronger dose of the epidural. The next few hours are again a blur. I remember some family members stopping by to see me but I couldn't talk to them. When I was conscious I was in so much pain I couldn't do anything. At 6pm Dr. W checked me again and I was 7cm! The baby was at -1.

At around 8:45 I was checked again by the nurse. She said she couldn't find my cervix, which meant I was fully dialated! Dr. W wanted me to labor down for about an hour, so the baby could get lower in the birth canal without me wearing myself out pushing. The nurse said when I felt a constant pressure that it would be time to push.

Around 9:50pm I was ready to start pushing. My lower body was pretty numb from the epidural, and I couldn't move by myself, but I could still feel every contraction. But I figured I'd made it this far, I could deal with the rest of the pain. At some point Paul insisted I have a little more of the epidural, and I think I got some, but I'm not sure. It took me a few tries to understand how to push effectively. Its harder than I thought it would be! The nurse, Stephanie, had me push the traditional way - with Mama and Paul holding my legs for me. Then Stephanie had me pull on one end of a knotted sheet while she pulled on the other end. I don't know how it worked but it really helped me get the baby down, though it really wore me out even more cause now I was using my arm muscles, too.

My contractions began to get irregular again, and I think they upped my pitocin at one point. Instead of having a contraction every 2-3 minutes, I was having one every 5-6 some times. So I pushed for 2 hours but didn't push as many times as I could have. I passed out between contractions. At some point I remember Stephanie saying the head was crowning and the baby had a bunch of hair. Which was interesting cause earlier, when she checked my cervix the final time, she said she couldn't feel any hair. Well, Mama got all excited about the hair and went on and on about it. Finally, my nerves and temper got the best of me and I said "enough with the hair! You have got to stop!" and Paul said "just don't say anything about the hair anymore." haha. That was the only outburst I'd had all day, though, so I think that's pretty good.

After 2 hours of pushing, Stephanie went to get Dr. W, who was asleep in the doctor's lounge. He said to let me take a 30 minute break. I sat through one contraction but the urge to push was so strong and the pain so intense that I just wanted to get it over with. I pushed a few more times, then Dr. W came in. He attached a vaccum to the baby's head and helped me get her out. I didn't really want that, but I was so glad of the help. I really don't think I could have went much longer. It had been about 30 hours since I'd had food or water, I'd been in intense pain all day, and I hadn't really slept in days. I was quite simply give out.

Anyway, with Dr. W's help I pushed for about 2 more contractions, then Claire was out! She passed meconium and swallowed some of it, but it happened late in the game so she was okay. She came out crying, just like she was supposed to. Dr. W held her up and asked me was it worth it and I nodded yes. The laid her on my stomach and dried her off a little. I couldn't cry or do anything but kind of wimper and try to catch my breath. Paul and Mama were crying. They took Claire to clean her up and weigh her. 7lbs 7oz! Dr. W pushed on my stomach to get all the blood and gunk out, and boy did that hurt. Then he stitched up my tears. The nurse pressed on my stomach again and almost made me scream. The epidural was basically gone but I couldn't move my legs.

They finally brought Claire to me and I breastfed her a little. Then she had to go to the nursery. Before that, though, they let the family come in 2 at a time to see us. We had to rush their visit, though, cause the nursery wanted Claire ASAP. During labor, I kept sayin I wanted a pepsi and I finally got one! And 2 bowls of lucky charms, haha. Best food I ever ate! Paul had to help Stephanie transfer me to a stretcher so I could be taken to my new room. I didn't regain the use of my legs until a few hours later, and my right leg was still numb the next morning. The rest of that night, when I had to pee, I had to call the nurse and she had to help me walk to the bathroom, with my right leg giving out all the time. Very wierd feeling.

They brought Claire back to me around 1:30 or so. Everyone had stayed to see her one more time, but they all left soon afterwards. Let's see if I can remember who was there...Mama and Paul, of course, Aunt Jeanette, Aunt Karen and Uncle Jerry, Sandra, Dean, Karen, Katlyn, David, Jennifer...maybe that's it. I'll have to ask Paul if I missed anyone. Finally everyone left, I breastfed Claire around 3:30 then they took her back to the nursery and I finally got some sleep. Of course, the doctor came around 7, and the nurse came in to check my bloodpressure a few times so I didn't really sleep much. Claire came back to me around 9:30 and I fed her again.

I don't remember much of that day, Tuesday. I was so tired still, but so happy. I wasn't in a lot of pain, but I did hurt. After what I'd gone through the day before, though, it was nothing! The pediatrician came that day and told us that Claire might develop jaundice since my blood type is O+ and hers is A- I think. (Maybe A+.) Sure enough, the next day she did get yellow. So she had to stay in the nursery under UV lights except when it was time to eat. That was tough on me, but I could visit her. I only made it there once, though, cause I was so weak. They originally said we might go home Thursday morning, but then they decided to keep Claire one more day and night cause her bilirubin levels weren't down enough. They should be 0 and hers had gone up to 12 or 13, then came down to 9. I think when we left it was 7 or 8. I was discharged Thursday, but they let us rent my room like a hotel. I tried to convince Paul to go home every night to sleep in our bed so he'd feel better, but he wouldn't do it. He left me for a few hours every day to come home and get stuff done, but I really wasn't alone very much.

Friday morning, I was up at 5. I was so nervous Claire wouldn't be able to get home. It was Christmas Eve, after all! Paul and I went down to the cafeteria to eat breakfast, then came back to the room to anxiously wait for the pediatrician to come. They had to redo Claire's bilirubin test so we had to wait a while, but finally we were told we could leave! We were home by noon, I think. Mama was at our house all morning cleaning for me, so she stayed until we got home and got settled in.

That night, we went to Paul's grandma's for Christmas Eve supper. We didn't stay long cause I was still exhausted. Paul and I exchanged presents that night cause I figured we'd be too tired the next day to do it. (I was right!) I gave him the Harry Potter movies, a wireless mouse, a watch, a shirt, and a Star Wars ornament. He gave me a Shark steamer, a pistol, and $100 to go to the spa! And some candy and an Elmer figure as per tradition. ( :

We had a rough night that night. Claire barely slept, which meant neither did me or Paul. So the next morning we didn't go to breakfast at either of our parent's houses, like we usually do. Paul's mama sent over a bunch of food, though. And we went over there around 9 or so, maybe later. We did presents with his family, then went to Mama's to do presents with them. Then we had to to back to his Grandma's for lunch. We came home and took a nap for a few hours, then went to my grandma's for supper. We stayed there until 9 or 10. That night was pretty rough, too.

We were supposed to take Claire to the doctor Sunday morning for a checkup (breastfed babies have to be seen 2 days after discharge), but the snow came in and they didn't open. Sunday night Claire's right eye started to water and eventually had green gunk comin out of it. When the doctor opened on Monday I called and told them. The doctor called in a prescription eye ointment for clogged tear ducts, and Paul went to Mt. Olive and got that. We had to be in the Goldsboro office at 1:10. The appointment went well. Claire had dropped down to 7lbs 3 oz on Friday when we left the hospital, and was now up to 8lbs! Dr. Ponzi said she looked great and we were going a good job with her. THat made me feel SO good. I'd been worried cause she spits up a LOT. But obviously she's getting what she needs.

Paul went back to work yesterday, so for the past 2 days its just been me and Claire. Its been nice. I'm still pretty sore and have to take it easy, so that's what I've been doing. I hang out on the couch most of the day, but I have managed to do a little cleaning here and there, at least enough to keep the house presentable. Last night Claire slept pretty good, which meant I did too. I slept for 4 hours straight, which is the most sleep at one time I've got in about 2 weeks!

So far, I love being a mama. Its challenging when she cries and we can't figure out what she wants, but its all okay when she's calm and happy. I've taken so many pictures and I just stare at her all the time. She's so beautiful. She doesn't look like a normal newborn to me. Most newborns look like little old people. But she looks like a doll. I love her so much! ( :

birth 1

2010-12-29T12:12:00.003-05:00

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birth 2

2010-12-29T12:12:00.001-05:00

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Dec. 19, 5:45am

2010-12-19T05:47:00.002-05:00

So I haven't been to sleep tonight. We went to bed at 11 after watching a movie and I dozed until about 12 when the phone rang. Wrong number, ugh. After that, I just couldn't get comfortable enough to sleep. I was itching severely and had horrible reflux. I finally got out of bed a little after 3, read a book in the living room for a while then tried to sleep again. Got up at 4:30 and have been online ever since, chatting with a friend who sleeps during the day (her hubs works nights). I drank some hot chocolate with milk and that has helped my reflux, but I am still itching. And now I'm not even sleepy! :/

So I can't remember what else happened Wednesday after I blogged, but it wasn't a great day. Thursday I called the dr again and they were shocked that I was still itching so bad. So they had me go in that afternoon. Paul took me and we saw Dr. L. He didn't check my cervix since it had just been checked Monday and was closed. He said he wanted to run some bloodwork becuase he thought my itching was due to a problem with my liver. And he went ahead and put me on the medication for it. He said this was the last thing he knew to do, and if that didn't work then he could say we tried everything and he'd induce me. He said give the meds 24 hours to work and if they didn't to call him.

So I started taking the awful crap. Its a powder that you suspend in liquid - it doens't dissolve so the texture is horrible. The first 3 doses I took made me really sick feeling, but now it just gives me bad reflux and heartburn. Well, anyway, I slept pretty decent Thursday night, but that was probably because I was exhausted from not sleeping all week. And becuase we went to Meredith's for supper and stayed really late.

Friday morning the dr office called me back to see how I was doing. I told the nurse to tell Dr. L that I was still itching and the medicine made me feel awful. And then she said they screwed up wtih my blood the day before and I had to go back in! I was so mad. When I got there I asked to speak to Dr. L but of course he was gone, so I talked to a nurse. She was basically like just deal with it you'll get over it. I wanted to punch her!! I cried the rest of the afternoon cause I was so upset. And tired and itchy.

Friday night we ate at Mama's for my brother's birthday and I actually had a good time, but my itching was pretty bad. I had talked to a pharmacist earlier that afternoon and she said to give themedicine 48 hours to work, so I decided to give it one more day. I didn't sleep much at all that night.

I felt better Saturday but not wonderful. I did some housework and walked around the pasture in the freezing cold looking for Wiley's halter that he slipped out of the day before. Then it started sleeting so I came back in and did some more housework. After lunch I spent a few hours at my friend's house with her and her baby. I loved that. When I left I decided to call Dr. L again to talk to him about all ths mess. I had to page him and when he called me back I told him how worried I was about this medicine and this liver problem. A lot of scarey things can happen to your baby and it freaks me out.

He said he'd induce me if I wanted, or I could go in for a nonstress test and have my cervix checked again. He's hesitant to induce me until my cervix starts to ripen casue it increases my chance of a c-section. Paul and I talked it over and we decided not to get induced that night. When I called Dr. L back he said that wasn't an option anymore anyway cause now they were full at the hospital. So I asked if I could go in today (Sunday) to be checked and have the nonstress test done. He said sure. So in a little while I'm gonna call the hospital and see when I can go. If I have dialted at all I'm gonna go ahead and have him induce me, if they have room.

She's due Tuesday so its not like its too early for her. My body might not be ready for her to come out, but I cna't keep going like this. I'm not supposed to be exhausted until after the baby is born! So I'll either be back on here later today with an update, or I'll be in the hospital. Wish me luck!

Dec. 15

2010-12-15T20:37:00.002-05:00

Still haven't been to work this week. Monday night I slept a little better and felt good enough Tuesday to study for my exam most of the day. Not like I had a choice, though. I took my exam and I feel okay about it. I'm sure we'll get a big curve like we did on the midterm. Hopefully I got a B in that class. Got an A in the other one.

Last night I slept really good and I felt good when I got up. Something told me, though, not to rush off to work. I'm so glad I didn't. I started feelin like crap pretty soon and itchin pretty bad. The rash on my back looked worse than it did yesterday. I took a nap from 10-11 and I think that made me feel worse. Today was just a long day because I had nothing to really do. At least yesterday I had to study and worry about the exam and the day passed quickly.

Everyone keeps saying it'll be over soon, blah blah blah. I KNOW that. But I don't think people understand how miserable I am here. There is nothing worse to me than itching all the time. It makes you feel CRAZY. And wears you out. I tried to sleep some more this afternoon but every time I started to drift off I'd itch really bad somewhere. This is the 3rd day of steroids, and I thought they would have worked by now. I don't know if I should tough it out until my next appontment on Monday or if I should try to get seen before then. :(

Dec. 13

2010-12-13T19:17:00.002-05:00

Oh, its been a rough few days. I think I posted last week that I have the PUPPs pregnancy rash. It started out very small, just in a few of my stretch marks on my belly. It progressively got worse last week. Friday night I didn't sleep at all. Of course, that was only partly due to the rash. I also had reflux and my back and hip were killing me. It was an awful night. Luckily, I had nothing going on Saturday so I did a few chores around the house and basically laid around most of the day. We were supposed to go to Raleigh for my company's Christmas party, but I just didn't feel up to it. I started takin Benadryl for the itching that day but it didn't really help.

I actually slept pretty decently Saturday night, though I got up 5 times to pee! I felt much better Sunday. Unfortunately, the itching kept getting worse. Of course, it gets worse when I get hot, and everyone's got their heaters blasting right now since its so cold outside. Anyway, we went to bed around 10 and I read my book for a little while as usual. I was soooo sleepy so I figured I'd go right to sleep. No such luck. I itched so bad, even after taking 2 Benadryl before bed. And I wasn't just itching on the rash on my belly, either. It was everywhere. I kept getting up to pee and put more Gold Bond anti-itch lotion on. Finally, I just moved to the couch. I was hot in the bed and I was worried I'd wake Paul up with my tossing and turning and getting in and out of bed.

I dozed a little on the couch, but only for a few minutes at a time. At 2am I took more Benadryl, and again at 4am. I finally fell asleep sometime between 4 and 5, but I heard Paul when he got up at 6 and then he woke me up at 7. I usually go out to help him feed the horses, but he had to do it himself this morning. I felt awful. When he left for work, I got in the bed and slept until a little after 8. I told my boss I wasn't going in to work. I had a doctor's appointment today anyway, and I tried to have it moved up to earlier in the day, but they didn't have anything available. I had several breakdowns throughout the day. The smallest things made me cry! Hysterically. I tried to take a nap but couldn't. So I did some school work, actually got a lot done. My final exam is tomorrow night (ugh).

Paul couldn't go with me to the doctor, so I went alone. I waited for almost an hour, and it was awful. He said my rash was a severe case. He checked my cervix to see if any progress has been made yet. He said if there had been he was going to induce me, because then the rash would go away. But unfortunately there were no changes, so he prescribed steroids and another really strong antihistimine. He said I should get relief in a few days. A few days!! I don't konw if I can handle a few more days of this. Especially with my exam coming up. I am so miserable.

I've had such a great pregnancy until now. I try really hard not to complain, but I am just so miserable. I get upset so easily, everything make sme cry and I hate that. And poor Paul, he's having to do so much more than he used to, plus put up with my whining and my bad moods. And now I'm thinking that Claire is just gonna stay put until after Christmas, which will really suck. Actually, if this rash would go away or at least lesson so I could sleep and function it won't be so bad.

My friend had her baby Friday. I went to the hospital and stayed 2 hours, but never saw the baby. I didn't feel like going anywhere Saturday, and ran out of time yesterday. Now I'm too miserable to visit with anyone. Maybe one day I'll see her baby..

Dec. 10

2010-12-10T07:35:00.002-05:00

Had to leave work early yesterday. My back was hurting SOO bad. Of course, nothing came of it. It started hurting in the morning and gradually got worse through the day. Finally, I just couldn't get comfortable and we weren't very busy so I asked to leave. I came home and sat in the recliner with a heating pad, which didn't help. Then I laid down and took about an 1.5 hr nap. That also didn't help much. So I basically did nothing the rest of the night, other than help Paul feed the animals. His mother sent over some food, thank goodness.

My friend Brandy was supposed to be induced yesterday morning (she's one week ahead of me in her pregnancy). When she called yesterday they told her not to come because all their labor beds were full. At 5:30pm they called her back and said to come on in. So she's been laboring all night. She just texted me and she hasn't made much progress. I feel so bad for her! But it seems like everyone I know that gets induced has really long labors. So hopefully I can avoid that..

Also, my friend from school, Torey, was supposed to come to my house last night. We've had several classes together online and have never met but we e-mail, facebook, and talk on the phone all the time. She's the one who suggested I take a pregnancy test back in April! Its just never worked out for us to meet (she's a couple of hours away and just had a baby earlier this year). Her and her husband were on their way home from Raleigh last night and they went the wrong way to come to my house, so they decided to just go on home. Maybe we'll meet some day!

So, I'm just slightly disappointed this morning. Nothing has worked out like I thought! My boss told me when I left yesterday that he probably wouldn't see me at the company Christmas party Saturday night cause I'd have the baby by then. But I told him I seriously doubted it. I think its just my luck for her to hang on until my due date or even after! :/

Dec. 8

2010-12-08T07:39:00.002-05:00

Well, still no baby. Its been a strange couple of days. Sunday night, I didn't sleep well at all, was very restless and in a lot of hip/back pain. I woke up around 2:30 to pee and couldn't go back to sleep until sometime after 5. I had a lot of back pain the whole time, and a little stomach cramping. Got up with Paul right before 7 to feed the horses, and I felt okay, but by the time we were done and he left for work I was really hurting in my back and my stomach was cramping. Felt like I was on my period (which was strange cause I haven't felt that way since March, haha!). I decided to stay home from work. According to my books, what I was experiencing was prelabor. For a while, I tried laying down or sitting, but that wasn't helping the pain, so I started walking around and doing stuff. That didn't help either. So I figured I was in prelabor and this could really be it, Claire would be here soon. I called Paul and told him what was goin on, and made an appointment at the doctor's to be checked.

Of course, the doctor said nothing had changed, no dialation or anything. >:( He said I could keep having the back pain and cramping for a few hours, then it could turn into real labor. Or I could keep feelin like that for days or even weeks (yikes). Or it could just stop. Very frustrating.

I was able to finally take a cat nap that afternoon, though my back hurt the whole time. Everything progressively got better throughout the rest of the day, though. By yesterday morning, I was a little "sore" feeling in my back, but that was it. So I went to work and tried to move around as much as possible (supposedly walking helps bring on labor).

I slept pretty good last night, until at 5:45am I woke up with a severe leg cramp! But that's not unusual. I'm having a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions (practice ones, they say) now and the baby feels like she's stretching a lot. My back is starting to hurt, too. I don't want to be in pain, but I welcome this all if it means labor is just around the corner!

Mama swears I'll have Claire this week. I hope she's right. She's usually good about predicting stuff; she always gets a "feeling" about things. I just don't want another day like Monday unless something actually happens!

Dec. 5

2010-12-05T18:41:00.003-05:00

Alright, I'm at that point. I am ready to be done being pregnant! I get asked very often if I am miserable yet. I always say no because I really haven't been. But now I am. Well, it could be worse. I know that. Like Paul said, at least I'm not on bed rest or anything. But since Thursday night, I've been miserable.

I had that surge of energy Wednesday night, when I cooked supper and scrubbed the bathrooms. I wanted to do more, but my back got to hurting too bad so I had to quit. Thursday after work, I suddenly started to feel awful. Just really tired and run-down feeling. Like I could barely get off the couch. And I didn't eat supper, except for some popcorn while I was watchin TV. Friday at work, I was just "blah" feeling. I had no energy and all I wanted to do was go home and sleep. Oh, and I had some contractions and cramping feeling. I told Paul I thought the baby would be coming soon. I started packing a bag for the hospital.

Saturday, I felt a little better so I took advantage of it and got some more cleaning and clothes washing done. Paul and I went and got a Christmas tree and decorated it. We went to a ballet last night, though I was pretty exhausted afterwards. The baby was extremely active during the ballet, almost to the point of pain at times!

Today, I'm back to feeling pretty blah. Could barely keep my eyes open in church. We ate lunch with Mama and then I helped her put up her tree, but it took me forever cause I just couldn't work up the energy to move fast. Paul wants to go to the grocery store tonight and I guess I will but I really don't want to go anywhere. I wish I could stay home from work tomorrow and rest. But I don't want to eat into my maternity leave time.

Mama thinks I'll go into labor soon. She said she felt like this before her labors. I hope she's right, cause otherwise this is gonna be a long rest of the month... Oh, and how could I forget? Thursday night I also noticed I'd developed a rash on my belly. I'm pretty sure its something called PUPPS that happens in like 20% of pregnancies or something. Its extremely itchy but I've read if you scratch you'll get scars, so I'm trying to keep my hands off. The problem is I wake up in the middle of the night tearing into my skin. I can take Benadryl but don't want to cause it makes me so sleepy, and I'm already sleepy enough. I'm just rubbin hydrocortisone cream on it, but its getting worse. I'll probably call the dr tomorrow and see if they can recommend anything stronger. The good news is this crap should go away immediately after delivery. The bad news is that it can spread to your arms and legs. :( And we all know how I get when I get itchy or a rash...jeez. So I'm really hoping that Claire is ready to come out and all this crap I've been feeling is my body gettin ready for her delivery. I don't want her to have any health problems, but if she's physically ready then I need her to come on out sooner rather than later! Pray for me!

Dec. 2

2010-12-02T07:30:00.002-05:00

Well, the doctor's appointment went well yesterday. Since Monday, I've been havin a lot of pain in this one small area at the bottom of my stomach, and sometimes you can feel a lump there. I was worried it was a hernia or somethin like that. Paul must have been worried, too, cause he went with me yesterday. But the doc said it was her head pressin on me and makin me sore, and not to worry about it. It made me feel better about it, but then I told Paul its gonna be a long 3 weeks if she doesn't move a little! Tuesday night I had to listen to my class lecture in bed, almost laying down, cause sittin up put too much pressure on that spot. Its gotten some better since then, though, so I guess she has moved some.

Anyway, her heart rate was fine, as usual, and the doc said she's not too big right now. I didn't think she was. He said she could be around 7-8lbs, but I think it'll be more like 6-7. I also asked him about my weight gain, but he said not to worry. I think the nurses have been weighing me wrong. Last week, they told me I'd lost a little. Yesterday, the woman told me I'd gained 9 lbs! I was like, um, no I don't think that's right. There's NO way I gained 9lbs in one week without swelling. She checked it again, then said I'd gained 5lbs. Which is still a lot in one week. So I'm not sure what's goin on. But I'm thinkin last week they weighed me wrong, and I had actually gained a lb or 2, so that this week wouldn't be so drastic. I mean, I know we just had Thanksgiving, but I didn't eat THAT much! And my pants were really loose yesterday, and usually they're pretty snug, so there's no way I've gained that much. Whatever. If the doc ain't worried about it, I won't be either!

I go back next Thursday. And I have to see the most hateful doctor out there. I've only seen this guy once, back when I had that UTI a few months ago. I hadn't had any back pain at all (and still don't, unless I over do it - like last night, when I cleaned the bathrooms...), and suddenly my mid to lower back was absolutely killing me. I knew I was gettin a UTI, I've had one before and knew what they felt like. But did Dr. B belive me? No, he just said I was pregnant and was gonna have back pain and deal with it. He was very hateful about it, ask my mama, she was with me. Finally, after we insisted, he did a urine culture and gave me some antibiotics in the meantime. Lo and behold, the next week the results came back and I had the beginnings of a UTI. DUH! I haven't had any trouble since the antibiotics kicked in. I would LOVE to rub Dr. B's face in that next week, lol. I'm not one of those pregnant women who calls the doctor over every little thing. I read a lot and know pretty much what to expect during this pregnancy. But I can tell the difference between normal pregnancy symptoms and something being wrong.

So anyway, that's my update. Nothin much else to report. ( :

Nov. 30

2010-11-30T07:35:00.002-05:00

Three weeks to go! I still can't believe its been 37 weeks. It really feels like just yesterday I found out I was pregnant.

Still stayin in good spirits. My hip has actually gotten a lot better this week. It still really hurts sometimes, and I have a lot of trouble sleeping some nights, but its not as bad as it has been. I think its cause Paul helps me feed the horses every morning and night now, and I've really slowed down on things I do. Over my 4-day weekend, I really took it easy. I got stuff done around the house, but I stretched it out and didn't do everything in one day.

Thanksgiving was nice. We ate lunch at Paul's grandma's house, then left early to go eat again at my grandma's house. I just ate a little bit at both, haha! After that, I took a nice nap on the couch while Paul went hunting. Well, he went walkin in the woods and happened to come across a buck. We ate supper that night at his mama's house, and had our traditional punch. It was nice. I didn't overeat like I usually do on holidays! Probably cause I still can't cram that much food into my stomach at once right now, the baby takes up too much room! I really don't eat that much. Though the past few days I've noticed I get hungry more often. (I had actually lost weight at my last doctor's appointment last week. Oh, and everything was fine, Claire is indeed head-down.)

Friday, me and Meredith put up Grandma's Christmas tree. Meredith had to do all the hard stuff, like gettin the boxes down from the attic, but I helped as much as I could. I also got our house decorated, except for a tree which we need to get soon! Saturday, I taught 2 riding lessons but I had a break in between so I was able to rest. That evening Paul and I put up some of the outside lights, and Sunday his sister Karen came over to help put up the rest. I got almost all our Christmas presents wrapped on Thanksgiving morning. I guess I'll try to finish up the rest of the wrapping this weekend. I had to stop because I ran out of paper!

I've got the horses worked up to grazing on the rye for about 3.5 hours a day now. That doesn't sound like a lot to me, but they seem exhausted when I bring them in! Yesterday, I came home on my lunch break just long enough to turn them out so we could continue our schedule. By the time I got home at 5:30 they were all standin near the gate, ready to come in. Silly horses. They have been really great about coming in when its time, thank goodness. The worse thing that's happened was last Friday, when the rain started coming in. I turned them out early that morning, hoping to beat the rain, but it came quicker than I thought. As soon as it started to sprinkle the horses went nuts. I guess the cold front that came with it made them nervous. They started runnin all around and I was worried they'd ruin the pasture, so I had to get them in. But they went back out later that day and were totally fine. Silly. I won't come home today to turn them out because its supposed to rain again. The ground in that pasture is really soft and I just don't want them to ruin it, so for now they'll only go out in nice weather. Maybe tomorrow I'll run home after my mid-day doctor appointment and turn them out...

That reminds me. I was really expecting to hear last week that I was starting to dialate. But nope, no changes had began yet. The doctor said that was good, but I was just expecting it! Everyone keeps tellin me I won't make it until my due date, and I'm startin to believe it. We're basically ready, though. Everything in the nursery is washed and organized, and I've taken back over 1/2 of the stuff that needed to go back. Paul and I took a huge load to Wal-Mart Saturday night and got over $200 back on a gift card. Yesterday morning, I took another stack back to Target and got $200+ more! And I still have stacks to take back to Belk, JC Penny, and TJ Maxx. Hopefully I'll get to that this week and be done with that task.

I'll try to update this thing again tomorrow after my doctor's appointment. ( :

Nov. 22

2010-11-22T07:18:00.003-05:00

Time is flying by so fast! I am due in about 4 weeks, which just amazes me. Of course, pretty much no one thinks I'll actually go to my due date. But I think everyone says that of every pregnant woman they meet. There comes a time when you just don't think her belly can get any bigger! But, Claire (that's what we've finally decided to name her) is head-down, I believe (will find out for sure on Wednesday), and she's very strong (sometimes it takes my breath away when she kicks!), so maybe she will make her debut early. I'm ready for it. Not cause I'm miserable being pregnant, but I'm just ready to meet my baby! I guess this is normal. I've started to dream about her all the time. And when I'm not dreaming (asleep), I'm daydreaming what it will be like when she's here and she cries, when its time to change her diaper, feed her, make her laugh... I guess its good I'm thinkin about the not-so-pleasant stuff, too. I don't have much experience with newborns, and I can't remember when I last changed a baby's diaper. I'm sure I'll have a lot to learn soon!

I get asked all the time if I'm miserale yet. I guess people are used to pregnant women being grouchy and tired and complaining about how miserable they are. I'm really not. Okay, I have my moments, but who doesn't? Right here lately, my right hip has gotten to be really bad, but I try to just keep on with my life and not complain about it. Oh, its made me have to stop doing some things and change the ways I do others, but I don't just sit around and whine about it nonstop. There are some days I feel I can barely walk (like yesterday for a while, and Saturday night). Paul's had to start helpin me with the horses - he puts out the hay now, since adding any extra weight is just too much strain on my hip. I still feed the grain, though. And this weekend I started introducing them to the rye grass Paul planted. I put them out there and got them back in by myself. And I'm still teachin lessons. I taught one Saturday, though in hindsight I really shouldn't have done that. I tried to do way too much Saturday! And I paid for it that night and yesterday. Couldn't even make it to Sunday School yesterday, though I did make it to church.

We've had 2 baby showers this month, and man did we get a lot of stuff! There is a tiny list of things that I have to buy that we didn't get. We won't even need diapers for a while. And I've already sent out all my thank-you cards. People are pretty impressed with that! But I can't stand when people do'nt send you a card soon after a shower. And I knew if I waited, the baby would be here and then I'd never find time to do it. I started on Saturday washin some of the baby clothes and blankets. Feels like a never-ending task, cause there's so much! Mama is comin over tonight to help me decide which outfits we need to keep and which can be taken back. That is my next dreaded task, takin stuff back we don't need. Ugh. But it must be done. Gotta add to the humongous pile of gift cards we've got, haha. (We got over $700 in gift cards and cash!)

Other than my pregnancy and dealing with baby preparations, there really hasn't been much else goin on. I've had a bad sinus infection for almost 2 weeks now, but I think I'm finally gettin better. My maternity leave replacement started last Monday. He's okay. He gets on my nerves, but I think that's been mostly cause I've been so sick. This week, I'll only work today and tomorrow, then I have a doctor appointment at 9:15 on Wednesday, so I won't get to work until around 10. We're leavin around 12 to go to lunch, then we're closing until Monday. So this week shouldn't be too bad! I can't believe its Thanksgiving already. Gotta finish up my Christmas shopping, I think I just have 1 person left on the list, and a few others to finish up. Then I gotta wrap everything! And decorate. ( :

November 1

2010-11-01T17:42:00.002-04:00

So I'm due next month. How crazy does that sound? ( :

Things are still great. No new problems to report, thank goodness. This past Saturday I enjoyed my first Saturday at home in a month, and it was wonderful! I got up at 8, did a little house work, taught a lesson, did some more housework, and that's about it. I read some of a book and dozed on the couch. I went to my Grandma's to see the progress on the crib skirt my aunt's making for me. Pretty laid back day. ( :

That night we ate at my uncle's for my cousin's birthday. That was fun, but any occasion with my family always is. You never know what to expect! After we ate, everyone wanted to feel/see the baby move, so I sat down in the recliner. I had about 5 different hands on my belly at one point, it was crazy. And of course the baby didn't move until the hands went away. She doesn't really like to be touched. I hope she gets over that! Everyone was amazed, though, when she finally did put on a little show. I love watchin my belly jump and roll around. Its so neat.

Yesterday, Paul and I went to town and got some more Christmas shopping done. We're very close to being finished. I'm tryin to get it done in case the baby decides to come early. Anyway, we had a nice day together.

Last Thursday after work, we went to Raleigh to pick up the baby's dresser/changing table combo. It was almost a disaster but turned out okay. About 1/2 way to Raleigh I noticed the a/c wasn't working in Paul's truck anymore. Then we noticed sparks were comin out from behind the truck! It was scarey. The truck's still in the shop, I have no idea what's wrong with it. But we had no a/c the rest of the night, and of course it was hot that night! But we got the dresser, then went to eat at Olive Garden, which was nice. The waitress asked me when my baby girl was due. She said I just looked like I was carrying a girl. She's the first person to say that to me. ( :

Paul decided on Friday night to put together the dresser. Of course it came in a zillion pieces. He had a time with it! I thought he was gonna throw it in the yard at one point. But after a few hours he finally got it together and it looks great. It would be so nice if baby stuff came pre-assembled!

Hopefully my aunt is bringing over the crib skirt tonight. She says she's almost finished with it. Next, she's making some valances for the windows in the same fabric. And if she's not tired of sewing after that, she's making 2 chair covers for the dining room chairs that must be stashed in the nursery. The room is lookin good, even Paul seems to think so. I know the baby will love it once she's old enough to appreciate it! ( :

October 21

2010-10-21T20:11:00.002-04:00

9 weeks and counting! I can't believe I'm almost 32 weeks pregnant. It feels surreal. But its still going great. My right hip has gotten to be pretty bad, but its bearable. It makes me toss and turn a lot at night and lose a lot of sleep, and it hurts really bad at the end of the day. But other than I really don't have any pregnancy-related complaints.

Obviously. the 3D ultrasound went well. We got some amazing pictures. The baby didn't want to cooperate at first, so I had to roll over on my side for the whole thing, but it wasn't bad. It was worth it. She looks like a good mix of me and Paul. She's gonna be beautiful!

We ended up not leaving for PA that Friday. We decided to save the money on the hotel room. So we left at 4am Saturday. It was awful. We went to bed around 11 but my bad was hurting really bad that night so I didn't get to sleep until after 12. Then at 2:30 I woke up to pee. Paul and I got up at 3:30. As soon as I got in the van, I stretched out with my pillows and tried to sleep. Unfortunately, that didn't happen until around 6, and we stopped at 7:30 to eat breakfast. So I really didn't get any sleep that night. I dozed off and on the rest of the drive, but it wasn't very restful. The van had no shocks and very little bump in the road was absolutely killing me.

We stopped in Manassas, VA, at the battleground that afternoon, and stayed there several hours. That was neat, but I was so tired I wasn't really into it. From there, we went to the battleground in Gettysburg, PA, and stayed there until dark. I enjoyed that one a little more, but I was just so tired. We didn't get to our house until pretty late that night, and I immediately took a shower and went to bed. I didn't even eat supper.

We "slept in" the next day - until like 7:30. We rode around and saw a lot of the Amish country, which is beautiful, took a short train ride, went to a few stores. Monday was an Amish religious holiday, so they weren't working again. We never did see any of them working, though we saw plenty Amish people out and about. Monday we shopped some more and took a wagon ride through the country. I think that was my favorite part of the trip. Our driver grew up with Amish parents so he knew a lot. We learned a lot about them. We got up early Tuesday morning and hit the road again. We got on the Skyline in VA (over the Shennandoah Valley - probably spelled really wrong) for a while, which was beautiful. We stopped in Appomattox, VA and tried to see that but it was closed by the time we got there. So we headed home then. We got home probably around 9, I can't remember exactly. I was in a lot of pain by the time we got home so I was very grateful to see our road! I think riding in the bumpy van made me have heartburn cause I've never had it that bad. I was in tears on the way home. It was awful. But the trip overall was nice. It just took a lot out of me, just like I expected.

Saturday around lunchtime, the women in myfamily and I left for Myrtle Beach. We shopped a little that day, then went to eat and to the Carolina Opry, which was wonderful. I love that show. The next day we slept in (about 9 which was NICE!), then went shopping again. I got started on my Christmas shopping, but after a while my hip wentto bothering me, so my cousin pushed me around in a wheelchair. We got home that night around 7, not too bad. I was exhausted again, but it was a nice trip and I'm glad we went. My Grandma had fun. ( :

I think my body is still tryin to catch up on rest from all these events lately. And now I don't sleep well at night cuase of my hip, so I'm havin a hard time. But I'm almost there! I can see the finish line, so to speak. Mama bought us a carseat and stroller, so that's done. We've got the nursery organized like we want, we're just waiting on the dresser/changing table to arrive. We've got the fish decorations hung on the walls, though I need more. And I bought curtains yesterday, though I haven't figured out how to hang them yet (the 3 windows in there are all together and make up the corner of the house so its awkward to hang curtains). And I registered finally! Invitations to the first shower have already been sent out. Things are coming together. ( :

Oct. 3

2010-10-03T20:48:00.002-04:00

Man, I'm bad about updating a blog! Too much goin on.

The pregnancy is going well. I'm going for a 3d ultrasound tomorrow and I am SO excited! I can't wait to see who she looks like. I'm hoping when I see her in more detail a name will come to me, cause as of yet she's a no-namer. We do have a crib now, and a swing, but that's it. I can't find bedding that I like. I haven't even registered for anything yet, and my first shower's in a few weeks. I feel like we're gettin behind on all the baby preparation. But it'll all come together. Next on our agenda is to actually get the nursery put together and buy a car seat.

I've just got so much goin on lately its hard to do anything extra. I try to take it easy sometimes cause when I get overtired its bad, and my back goes to hurtin. This past Friday I left work early to go to my friend's wedding rehearsal in Wilmington. Mama went with me so I wouldn't have to drive home alone. We got home that night around 10:30, and I was up around 7:15 or so Saturday morning. I got on the road to Wilmington again by 9, cause I had to be there in time for the bridesmaid's lunch. Everyone asked why I wasn't stayin at the hotel with everyone else in the wedding, and I told them I just wanted to sleep in my own bed, which is true. But my main reason was I couldn't afford to get a hotel. Plus I'll be gone the next 2 weekends so I wanted to stay in my bed this one.

The wedding went okay, it was just a LOOOONG day for me. I didn't raelize how much it would take out of me. We had the lunch, then our appointment at the hair salon, got to the church just in time, then had the ceremony, then pictures, then more pictures on the beach at the reception, then the reception, which lasted until 10. Like I said, a long day. Mama had to drive me home cause I was so tired and my back was hurtin pretty bad.

This morning, I could barely get up. So I skipped Sunday school and church, which I felt really bad about. Especially since I'll be gone the next 2 Sundays. But I just couldn't help it. I felt like absolute crap. Paul went to Sunday school and while he was gone, I took a bubble bath. When I got out I felt a little energized, so I vaccumed the house (it needed it BAD) and cleaned the litter box. Then I was exhausted again. I'm not used to this! So since then, I've been on the couch or in the bed. I've been feelin a lot better after a long nap this afternoon, and thankfully my back has quit hurtin so bad.

So here's what's comin up. I wrote a paper today that is due on Wednesday, wanted to get that out of the way. I have another paper due Tuesday which I haven't started yet, and a midterm that same day. Paul wants to go to the fair tomrrow night, and I do too, but I can only go if I get this paper done. Thankfully, the midterm is open book so I won't have to study so much. Wednesday, I need to write another paper that's due next Wednesday cause I won't have time between then. Thursday, I'm working the Constitution Party booth at the fair from 6-9. I am kicking myself for signing up for that, but I feel like I can't back out now. Friday I have to go for some work training in Raleigh from 10-4. After we get all the animals fed Friday evening, we're all headed towards Pennsylvania for our annual Thornton trip. We're stayin in another state that night, but I can't remember which they said. We won't be home again until sometime Tuesday. I'm lookin forward to the trip but I think its gonna take a lot out of me. The next weekend, I'm goin with the ladies in my family to Myrtle Beach Saturday and Sunday. We're celebrating my Grandma's birthday, goin shopping and to a show. Should be fun, but again, its really gonna wear me out. The weekend after that is my home church's harvest sale, so I'll be there all Saturday. I get tired just thinkin about that, though I won't do all the work I usually do. Then I think I have a free (yeah right) weekend before my first baby shower.

See what I mean? I'm so busy!! It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to work full time and do school. But whatever. As long as I get good sleep at night I'm okay.

September 6

2010-09-06T15:21:00.002-04:00

My friend made her decision about the baby. I don't want to say too much about it, becuase it gets me very upset. She met with a genetic counselor on Friday afternoon and there decided to terminate the pregnancy. They couldn't do a regular abortion on her because she was too far along, so they admitted her to the hospital and induced labor. She delivered the baby yesterday morning. What makes me sad is that they held the baby. And I haven't talked to my friend, but I spoke with her mother, who said the baby looked perfectly normal, no defects. I can't bear it. I feel like she should have waited and had some genetic tests done before she did this, but its done. And it wasn't my decision. After I spoke with her mom yesterday, I cried and cried. I was depressed the rest of the day. And today, if I think about it too much I get depressed. So I try not to...

Which was why I was so happy that Paul woke me up with breakfast in bed this morning. He's never done that before, and it was so nice. Bacon, eggs, and toast all on a tray. Wonderful. I guess he knew I needed a little pampering. I did a few chores around the house, then went outside and lunged and rode Wiley. I decided to lunge him cause he hasn't been ridden in about a month, and that was only at a walk for a few minutes. He was pretty full of himself, but he listened well to me. I worked him over a few trot poles, and he tripped so many times! I got on him and just walked around. I gotta get someone to come work him for me. I just don't feel safe going faster than a walk on him right now. He's so clumsy and I'm scared he'll trip and make me loose my balance. Today, he went down to his knees tripping over his own feet! He just doesn't pay attention to where he's walking, I guess. Even when he's listening to me he's not really watchin out for what's under him. But it was nice spending time with him and workin with him. I think he really enjoys it.

Saturday I rode Sunshine. I think she's a little burned out on lessons. Last Saturday, she was AWFUL for one of my students. I had planned on letting the girl trot for the first time off the lunge line that day, but it never happened. Sunshine zoomed around on the lunge line and nothing we did would slow her down. She just kept getting more and more agitated. I was worried she'd start cantering if I took her off the lunge, and the girl is not ready for that yet. So it wasn't a great lesson. (This past Saturday, I had her ride Junior, who of course was wonderful, and she did trot off the lunge.) Of course, Sunshine was perfect for me when I rode her. She never acts stupid with me. That's why I think she's just burned out. So I'm gonna give her another week or 2 off from lessons. She only does 2 lessons a week normally, I don't know why she can't deal with it! But I guess she deserves a break every now and then, even though she doesn't work very hard. ( :

I can't remember if I posted this or not, but we've had new floors put down in our living room, guest bathroom, and nursery. We bought that laminate stuff that looks like hardwood. We hired a guy and Paul's been helping to cut down on the labor costs. It looks wonderful, but he's not done, so the furniture is still all over the place. He's coming back tomorrow to put down the molding, and then he'll be done and we can finally get everything back to order! I can't wait to see it all put together. It looks SOOOO much better than the carpet! In a few weeks we're gonna have the guy come back out and do our bedroom and the office, then we'll be done. (I'm gonna have new linoleum or something like that put in our bathroom and the kitchen, eventually.) I'm hoping this weekend to get a crib so we can go ahead and get the baby's room ready. I'm excited about that! ( :

September 2

2010-09-02T21:04:00.002-04:00

A good friend of mine is 5 weeks behind me in her pregnancy. She went for her 19 week ultrasound on Monday. You know, the only everyone gets excited about cause that's when you get to find out the sex of the baby. She found out it's a girl, but they told her the baby's legs weren't as long as they should be, and that she might be a dwarf. So they sent her to a specialist for further testing. We weren't too worried cause dwarfism is not that bad if its not severe, and anyway my friend comes from a very short family, so we thought the baby would just be short. But I kind of had a feeling, you know?

Well, I saw the ultrasound pics and to me they looked odd, but I thought what do I know? I'm not an ultrasound technician. She went today to the specialist and did not get good news. The baby has severe genetic defects and will not live. They doubt she'll make it to term, but if she does she will only live a short while, and will basically be on life support. Her lungs can't develop properly. She's got several major problems. I was prepared for my friend to call and say she was havin a dwarf baby, but I was totally not prepared for this. She has to decide in the next week whether to terminate the pregnancy or try to carry the baby to term. Which would be until the end of January. I don't know what she's going to do. Its a tough situation.

I just can't imagine being told that. My heart breaks for her. It makes me even more grateful that my baby seems to be totally normal and on track with her growth. Every time she's kicked tonight, I've almost burst into tears with gratitude. I know miscarriages are tough, but its got to be worse carrying what you think is a normal child for 5 months, only to find out she will not live. I just can't imagine how my friend feels right now. She actually sounded okay on the phone earlier, but I think she's still kinda in shock. I'm sure somethin like this takes a while to really sink in. What makes the situation even worse is that her sister has had like 4 miscarriages in the past, and they can't figure out why. And I think she's done trying to have a baby now. So everyone was so excited when my friend got pregnant. And now this. I just can't understand it. I know everything happens for a reason, and God has a plan for them, but man.

So please pray for my friend and her family during this horrible time.

August 25

2010-08-25T19:38:00.002-04:00

Everything is still going really well. I went back to the doctor for a check-up yesterday and the baby is right on schedule with her growth, and her heart rate was good. Dr. L said I've already gained too much weight for this point in the pregnancy (20lbs so far!) but that it looks good on me. I told him I don't eat junk (well, sometimes, but who doesn't!) and I work out at least several times a week. So he said not to worry about it, that the baby was doin her thing and I should just sit back and enjoy the ride. He really said that. He also said once the weather cools down I won't be retaining so much fluid and that should help with the weight gain, too. He said by the time I give birth I'll have gained around 40lbs, which is a little over what they recommend but not terrible. I'm not worried about it. I think I look good, and I feel good, so if my baby needs me to gain extra weight, then so be it!

This week, its been a lot cooler than it has been. Last week, I could barely stand to go out to feed the horses cause the humidity and heat was so bad. This week, we're stayin in the 80s and the humidity is down which is wonderful. I'd be riding but of course school started back yesterday and both of my classes do live broadcasts so that takes up my Tuesday and Wednesday evenings now (from 6-9 usually, ugh). But I have been squeezing in my regular Wii Fit workout and then a walk outside before class. Yesterday, I walked 4/10 of a mile and today I walked a 1/2 mile. I'm gonna try to increase a little every day and eventually walk a couple of miles a few times a week. That should help me stay healthy during this pregnancy, and its not hard on my body.

Other than that, not much to report. My 2 lesson students have been coming faithfully and they are both doing really well. One (the younger one) is trotting on her own (no lunge line anymore), and I bet she'll be ready to canter soon (actually Sunshine cantered a little a few weeks ago with her and the kid didn't even freak out). The other girl will have her first go off the lunge at the trot on Saturday, and I think she'll be fine. The younger girl is so fun to be around, and I can joke with her during the lesson and when she's not on the horse she just talks and talks, but she listens to me, too. The other girl is very shy around me and barely says a word until right before she leaves, but she concentrates so hard when she's riding and really tries to do everything I ask. They're both great kids and I'm lucky to be able to teach them. I just hope they keep comin now that school's startin back and their lives get busier.

Let's see...upcoming events....nope, not really anything coming up soon. I'm supposed to go to Myrtle Beach on Labor Day weekend for my friend's bachelorette weekend, but I can't afford to go so I'm stayin home that weekend. Plus, what is a pregnant gal gonna do while the other girls are out drinkin in the bars? Not fun! Her wedding is the first Saturday in October, so I'll be in Wilmington most of that weekend. Then the Thorntons have a trip to Pennslyvania planned in mid-October. But Dr. L advised me to really think about that, cause I'll be around 30 weeks then and could go into labor at any time. The weekend after that trip, I'm supposed to go with the women in my family to Myrtle Beach for an overnight trip. Its Grandma's 87th birthday and we're gonna go to a show and shopping, I guess. I can swing that one, its only 1 night and we'll be so packed into hotel rooms that the cost will be low, lol. Then we'll have the church harvest sale, and baby showers, and Thanksgiving, and then the baby! Whew, I guess I do have a lot coming up, hehe. Especially when you consider that I'm still working full time AND am takin 2 online classes. Jeez! ( :

August 4

2010-08-04T20:33:00.003-04:00

Gah, I wanted to keep this thing updated so that one day I could go back and read about my first pregnancy. Oh well. Despite the few difficulties I've had, I love being pregnant. Its amazing to me to see the changes in my body. My newest fascination is my belly button. I've read that it will eventually protrude (I'm usually an "innie"), but I guess I didn't believe it. Every day, it seems, it gets a little more shallow. Its funny to me. And I LOVE feelin the baby kick and move around. She's usually very active in the mornings, when I first get up and go out to feed the horses. See, she's already a horsewoman. ( :

After my last post, my headaches got worse and worse. I would wake up in the middle of the night in severe pain, and nothing made it go away. After many calls to the doctor and trying several different things, I ended up in the ER on July 4. That was a pleasant experience. Ugh. They finally gave me a shot of Toradol and my headache almost went away. They gave me Toradol pills, too, and I took them for 2 days beacuse my headache came back, but when my OB found out he had a cow and told me not to take them. Thankfully, the headaches gradually got better and better - very gradually; I can't remember the first day I didn't have a headache. Now, I get one every once in a while but its never like it was - thank God.

Now that that's behind me, I really don't have any other "bad" symptoms. Sure, I pee all the time, but I've even stopped waking up in the middle of the night for that, mostly. I know that will come back in a few more weeks, though, when the baby's down on my bladder. And no, none of my regular clothes fit any more and sometimes I feel like an absolute cow, but its cool. To me, my stomach is HUGE, and my family thinks the same thing, but people who don't really know me well think I'm still small. I'm just used to havin a pretty flat tummy! I absolutely HATE it when people who don't know me well say things like "oh wait until you're REALLY showing" or "just a tiny bump right now - just you wait!" Drives me crazy. Its like some people don't think you're really pregnant until you're about to pop in your 8th month. I bet even then people will say "oh just you wait!" Ugh.

Which brings me to another thing I hate. If I ever say how tired I am (cause most days I am still really tired and need to lay down, even if I don't actually sleep), someone always says somethin to the effect of "just wait till that baby's born, then see how tired you are!" Like they forgot how exhausting MAKING that baby is! Yes, I am sure I will be tired once she's born cause I'll be up all night with her, no doubt, but that doesn't mean I can't be tired now, does it?

Which brings me to something I love! We found out on July 26 that we're havin a baby girl! I wondered how I'd feel about it. The entire time I've been pregnant I've been so sure it was a boy. I dreamed about a baby boy, I had a name picked out, I just KNEW it was a boy. I didn't even think about girl names or anything involving a girl. So I was pretty shocked when we didn't see a penis. I had thought about it beforehand, and even though I SAID I'd be fine either way, I wondered if I really would be. Well, I was totally fine with it. Raising a little girl is gonna be fun! And Paul said she can learn to shoot just as good as a boy, lol. She'll be ridin horses and tractors, and huntin with her daddy, and playin with makeup with me. I'm very excited, I just can't believe I was wrong! I had started to have so much faith in my dreams, since several of them seemed eerily true lately. Oh well. (I also had an inkling of a feeling that I was carrying twins, and I was wrong on that too. Not that I REALLY thought that, but still.)

Mama's already goin crazy buyin clothes for her. Yeah, "her." She doesn't have a name yet. We can't decide. I've suggested lots but Paul is very picky. Hopefully we'll choose one soon - I want to call her something other than "her!" Anyway, Mama's bought her dresses for next summer and a couple of winter outfits. Of course they have horses on them. ( : We're goin to BabiesRUs this weekend to hopefully decide on a crib and other things.

We've also decided to rip up the carpet in part of our house and put down "hardwood" floors. That Pergo-type stuff. For now, we're just gonna do the nursery and the living room - its expensive. But eventually we're gonna get the whole house. Its gonna look SOOOO much better in here when we're done. I can't wait!

I should say somethin about the horses in this post. I'm still teachin lessons on Sunshine, though I'm down to 2 students. I guess no one else wants to brave the heat this summer. But she's doin really well. I got on her Saturday and schooled her cause she has developed a few bad habits, but its nothin major. I also lunged Wiley on Saturday. He was pretty excited, so we lunged for quite a while. I did get on him, but we just walked in circles. I rode Junior Monday night, and of course he was good. I got him in a really slow jog, no bounce at all - it was nice.

I'm gonna keep ridin as long as I feel comfortable in the saddle, but I don't ride when its much above 90 degrees. I just can't take it. And sitting the trot is uncomfortable, so I don't do that. Actually, I don't do much trotting at all cause it just feels wierd. Like the baby's sloshing around. I haven't cantered any of the horses in a long time, but I just don't feel comfortable doin it. Sunshine's canter ain't that comfortable to begin with, and I worry about Wiley stumblin and gettin me off balance. So we'll just stick to walk/trot for now. Its okay, just bein up there makes me happy. When I rode Junior the other night, it was for like 15 minutes and I was SO happy. ( :

June 15

2010-06-15T21:30:00.002-04:00

I guess I'm updating my blog monthly now. Still dealing with annoying pregnancy symptoms, though the really bad stuff is over, thank God. I only had a few days of nausea, and it wasn't really that bad, and I never threw up. I did stay tired the entire past month, though, which really sucked. Basically, every day after work I had to come home and take a nap. I had no choice. My body just shut down. Last week, I started weaning myself off the naps. I took one last Monday and that was it for the week. (So much for a gradual weaning!) But I wasn't nearly as tired last week as I had been being. So far, this week I'm about the same as last week. I took a nap yesterday after work (a nice long hour and 1/2 one!), but not today. Though I did sit in the recliner for a while today cause it was 81 degrees in my house (not sure why the A/C wasn't pumpin more...) and 100 outside. Too hot for me to do anything.

My newest pregnancy symptom is headaches. I am a complete wuss about headaches. Okay, I'm a complete wuss about any kind of ache or pain. But especially headaches. I can only take Tylenol now, and that stuff doesn't touch my headaches. Plus, I'm scared to take it too much cause its caused me to have high blood pressure in the past, and I can't be having that now. Last night I was almost in tears it was hurting so bad. I didn't sleep at all last night, and my head hurt the entire night. Thankfully, it was fine this morning. The whole day I've kept a tiny headache, but its been bearable.

The best part of my pregnancy so far is my eating and exercise habits. I don't ride a whole lot - mainly cause I can't take the heat - but I've been getting on the Wii Fit a lot. Not every single day, but enough to make a difference. I've only gained about 4 pounds so far, which is not bad for the first trimester (I think most of it is boobs anyway!). And I am eating healthier now than I ever have. I don't eat sweets anymore cause I normally can't bear the thought of them. Which is strange cause I used to could LIVE off sweets! But its a good thing. Now, I crave fruits and vegetables, and cheese. Wierd, huh? But healthy! I eat a LOT over the course of the day, and I graze all through the day, but that's better for your metabolism, anyway. And I don't eat a lot all at once, usually.

The weight gain thing is so weird to me. As healthy as I'm eating and exercising, I should be losing weight, and its so strange to have the Wii fit tell me I've gained another 1/2 pound or so every week. I now weigh more than I ever have in my entire life. But its okay. I'm also starting to show, which is you follow me on facebook you've noticed. I can't wait until I'm showing more! I know that brings a host of other annoying symptoms, but I'm ready to look pregnant and not just fat! lol

Tomorrow we go back to the doctor for another checkup. At the first one, we found that the baby was growing normally and everything was fine. Hopefully we'll get the same report tomorrow. Though I keep havin dreams that they discover twins at this appointment...! It could happen, I guess, but I'm not betting on it.

My dreams have gotten extremely starnge lately, though. And kinda psychic. One night last week, I dreamed that I went snow skiing (which I HATE) with my family and Paul. Paul ended up getting mildly hurt, and I was making a huge deal out of it and failed to notice that my cousin Morgan was screaming her lungs out because she had crashed and broken her hip. It was very chaotic. Well, back to reality: this past Saturday night, Paul fell off Rambler and hurt his back (very similar to my dream), and tonight I found out that Morgan has been admitted to the hospital with kidney stones that were causing her to scream in pain. Freaky, huh? My great-grandma Maude used to be like that with her dreams/visions. She always knew things that were gonna happen. Maybe I've got some of her in me! ( :

May 11

2010-05-11T11:47:00.003-04:00

Pregnancy is not exactly like I thought it would be. I expected to be either really sick all the time, or feel fine all the time. But I never know what to expect from day to day. One day I'm feeling wonderful, and the next I feel like I have the flu or somethin. It sucks. Saturday I felt absoutely great. I taught a lesson early in the morning, then hopped on Wiley for a few minutes. He was perfect. We trotted and cantered around a bit, and I couldn't have asked for a better behaved pony. The rest of the day I helped Paul clean out the barn. There was about 4 months of crap built up in there. I got it cleaned out after the worst of the winter rain was over, then it rained again and I couldn't get to it with the wheelbarrow anymore. And once things dried out there was just too much to deal with, and I physically couldn't do it.

So Paul borrowed our neighbor's bobcat and got to work. He got the majority of the manure out with no problems, but the final couple loads we had to scoop out by hand. Which absolutely killed my arms! But the barn looks so much better now. And as long as it doesn't flood around here I'll be able to keep it clean.

Sunday was a pretty good day. I didn't feel wonderful, but I didn't really feel sick. I've figured out that as long as I keep some food in my stomach, I'm fine. So I can't let myself get very hungry. Which is hard. I feel like I eat ALL the TIME!! Sunday night we had my parents and brother, and Paul's parents and siblings over for supper. That was pretty fun. Thank goodness our parents all get along! After everyone left, I started feelin bad. I didn't sleep hardly at all that night, kept gettin up to pee (another wonderful symptom of pregnancy), and my stomach was hurtin bad.

All day yesterday I was miserable. I felt like I had been run over by a truck. I was achy, nauseated, freezing, the works. Luckily, my boss wasn't here yesterday so I didn't do anything but read a book and watch TV.

I watched Rambler's trainer work with him last night. He was pretty bad in the round pen, not listening or respecting her, spooking, etc. Not sure what was goin on there. He tries everything he can to get out of actual work. She has WAY more patience than I do with him, I'll give her that! When she took him out of the round pen he was much better. Which was odd because its usually the other way around. They ended on a good note. She says she's gonna start gettin on him tomorrow. Finally!

I'm all for taking it slow, but sometimes I wish she'd hurry things up a little bit. This is the 3rd week and she hasn't gotten on at all yet. We've only got her hired for 4 weeks right now. I know you can't rush it, but Paul is gettin very anxious, and I'm startin to be as well. A lot of the problems Rambler's havin right now are only gonna be resolved with lots and lots of repetition, which we can do on our own after he's initially "broke." So keep your fingers crossed that she starts riding him and gets a few rides on him before her month's up, cause I don't think Paul's gonna go for another month.

Today started out absolutely horrible. I overslept because my cell phone died sometime last night - after I had checked it before bedtime and seen that it had almost 4 bars of battery! I felt like crap. Then, the horses were all actin retarted this morning during feeding. We removed the small pen I usually feed Wiley in and joined it to the round pen to make that bigger, and Wiley was very upset about it I guess. I kept havin to chase him away from Junior's feed, then Wiley woudn't let me get near him to show him where his feed bowl is now. I finally got him, but not until after I fell down on my face. Now my left knee is bruised and swollen. Wonderful. I was SO mad. Then all these little things were goin wrong while I was gettin ready. You know how it is. I made it to work only like 5 minutes late somehow, not that it matters cause my boss is not here again today. Which is good cause I still don't feel that great, though I'm a lot better than yesterday.

I try not to complain, I really do. I'm so happy to be pregnant, and so thankful. But some of these symptoms absolutely suck! At least my boobs are less sore now and I can actually ride - when I'm not feeling like crap, that is! Its always somethin.

April 30

2010-04-30T12:33:00.003-04:00

Well, things have been pretty exciting around here lately. I found out on April 16 that I'm pregnant!! I felt bad all that week and wasn't sure what was goin on. So now I know. ( : Pretty much everyone knows now, except my boss. I haven't told him yet. I also have made the announcement on facebook yet. I'm waiting until I go for my first appointment.

So, I have decided to keep riding for as long as I'm comfortable (and as long as there are no problems). But I'm putting off my goals of taking Wiley out on a trail ride and possibly a show this year. I don't want to ride in any unfamiliar environments until next year. We're all comfortable on our property so I feel pretty safe there. But you never know how a horse will react in a new pace, even a calm horse like Junior or Sunshine. So we''ll be stayin around the house for one more year.

I haven't been riding much because I haven't felt up to it. I'm exhausted all the time and my boobs are SO sore, which makes riding difficult! I did hop on Junior the day after I found out I was pregnant, just for a walk around. And I got on Wiley one day last week, but we just walked and trotted. And we didn't do much trotting. It was very painful! But it was nice to be back in the saddle. And Wiley was good. I'm hoping that soon I'll feel more up to riding more regularly.

We also hired a trainer for Rambler this week. She's worked with him 3 times so far, and he's doing great. Mostly she's been working on lunging him. I worked with that last summer and he caught on pretty well, but its been a while. I wasn't able to be there yesterday, but she said she put the english saddle on him in the round pen. He bucked a little and was worried about it, but he wasn't too bad. Then she put the bridle on him. He's had a bridle on before, and he was totally fine with it. She said he was a little fussy, though. So she wants me to start feeding him with a bit in his mouth. I'm not really crazy about that idea cause I don't like my horses to eat with the bit in their mouth (in case they slam on brakes to nibble grass when you're riding them), but I see how it will help him get used to it quicker. So we'll try it.

She says by the end of next week she hopes to start riding him. We'll see. I don't want her to rush, but I hope she does something really impressive soon or Paul is gonna get frustrated! He wanted to send Rambler to a cowboy to have him bucked out and broken. But I like a gentler way of training a horse. Anyway. I'll keep this thing updated on his progress, and mine! ( :

April 13

2010-04-13T07:42:00.002-04:00

I had a very frustrating ride on Wiley last night. I don't know what his deal was, but he was not being cooperative. He wasn't really bad, he just...wanted to be difficult, I guess. I started out doing some bending work with him. He leans really bad in the corners (well, only some of the corners), and when we're on a smaller circle. He was doing great. I figured out that I have to keep my inside leg constantly on him, instead of what I was doing. Until yesterday, when I trotted him, I kept my leg on him, but only really put pressure on him intermittantly. But he does better with constant pressure from the inside. Hopefully eventually he won't need that, cause that is exhausting!!

When we moved on to the canter, he got pretty hyped up. Then he kept breaking down on me, then getting into this annoying 1/2 canter - 1/2 trot thing. I had the crop, and that usually helps, but not last night. I finally got a decent canter out of him, though, so I called it a night. My legs were shaking by the time we were through! Hopefully, tonight after work I'll have time to hop on him. I think we'll take it easy tonight, though, let both our muscles stretch and reccuperate some!

Saturday, I had two lessons using Sunshine. One in the morning, with the kid from last summer. Sunshine was awesome, but the kid was annoying. I really don't think she wants to ride. I'd tell her to turn and come over the ground poles in the middle, and then she wouldn't do it. So I'd say "what happened?" And she'd say "I forgot." Seriously?! I JUST told you! The next lesson was late in the afternoon, with a new student, a 5 year old. She was cute as a button, and her mother was impressed with me, so that was good! I finally got my farrier to come out and trim everyone's feet Saturday, too. Wiley was such a pill. I don't know WHY he can't ever stand still for the farrier. He never moves when I pick his feet out myself. But we got through it.

April 8

2010-04-08T21:27:00.003-04:00

Wow, I can't believe I haven't updated this thing since March 15! Whoops.

Okay, back to that week in march...it was my 3 month anniversary at my job, so my boss gave me a raise and told me he was gonna start givin me extra money each month under the table since I don't get insurance with him. Woo-hoo! Then he bought me nice shirts with our logo on it. ( :

Mary-Marshall came on March 20 to ride. Videos are on YouTube and pics are on facebook and Shutterfly. Wiley was awesome that day. Well, at first he was a snot-head. He wouldn't settle down for a while, just showin his tail. But then he calmed down and gave me a very nice canter. And Sunshine was good, of course, for Mary-Marshall. She worked her hard, and Sunshine picked up both canter leads on the straight ways of the arena! That is a major accomplishment. After we worked in the arena, we rode around the field beside the house and Wiley was awesome. Not walking too fast or anything - I was so proud!

I didn't get to do any riding the following week. That week was crazy with school, just like last week was. I got a new lesson student on March 30, a middle-aged woman who's never been around horses before. But she's not scared and she's actually really good with horses so far. She canceled her lesson this week. Actually, I canceled it. She called 15 minutes before the lesson and said she was still in town and had to go home and change, and was it alright if she was 30 minutes late? Um, nope, sorry. I had other plans that night, and that wouldn't work! She's supposedly comin next week, but we'll see.

Then I got another new student last Wednesday. She's 8 I think. She's been takin lessons at this barn in Goldsboro, but you'd never know it. She didn't know anything. Not even how to get ON the horse. Or get off. I wasn't prepared for that. Her mom said she's had a few months' lessons at this other place, so I assume she's been trotting and stuff. The poor girl is terrified of bein on a horse. She's fine on the ground. I think she's scared of heights. I had to help her onto the mounting block, and she was shaky. I think this is an example of a kid who's parents want her to ride a lot worse than SHE wants to ride.

Last Friday, Mary-Marshall came again to ride. We had so much fun! Katlyn came and rode Junior with us, but first we worked Wiley and Sunshine in the arena. Sunshine was awesome again, and Mary-Marshall took her over a jump several times. Then I worked with Wiley on ground poles, then took him over 1/2 a cross rail, and eventually made it to a real cross rail. 18 inches. He did so good! He didn't really jump it, but he didn't stumble over it, either, and that was my concern. I think he'll make a nice pony hunter one day. ( : Afterwards, he did fine in the field with the other 2 horses, until the cows across the road started movin. That freaked him out. I don't understand. He lives beside a small herd of cows and sees them 24/7. But the neighbors cows are apparently evil. Silly pony.

Monday after work I hopped on Junior and Kate got on Sunshine and we walked around the fields for a while. Very relaxing. Junior's lost a LOT of weight, so I'm tryin to bump him back up a bit. He needs to stay slim for his joints, but he's a little too skinny for my taste - I can see ribs.

Tuesday after work I worked Wiley HARD. Cantered a LOT. But he was so good! He's started leaning really bad in the right lead canter, so we're workin on that. His stamina is gettin better though. Soon, I'd like to work on cantering him out in the field, so we can go longer distances and not have to go in small circles.

So that's it. I'm all caught up, I think. Saturday, one of my students from last year is coming back for a lesson - she got a horse for Christmas so I thought that was it, but yay! And Saturday afternoon I'm having another new student - a 5 year old girl - come out. So, if all my students keep coming, I'll have a total of 4. That's pretty good! And there have been several people lately askin for my phone number, so that's a good sign. I just wish I could teach on Junior so Sunshine didn't have to do it all! But it ain't like my students ride that hard, so she'll be okay. So far, I haven't had any stick around long enough to even canter much. The 2 that were ready last year got their own horses and quit takin lessons. (And one of those fell off her horse last week and broke her arm - Paul said she shouldn't have stopped takin lessons! Its mean but probably true.)

March 15

2010-03-15T22:07:00.003-04:00

I had a good ride today on Wiley. We worked hard in the arena, then walked around the field a little ways. He didn't care about the scarey pallet on the way out, but comin home he had a minor meltdown over it. Silly pony. I think I had a breakthrough on him tonight. He stretched down while trotting! He's never done that before. Its extremely hard to get him to loosen up and relax at the walk, much less at a faster gait. He likes to travel with his head up, muscles tight. His flight instinct is strong, haha. We'll get there.

I wish I felt the same way about Rambler. I'm starting to think I really ain't gonna get far with him. I took him out today and brushed him (he's sheddin way worse than my other horses) and cleaned his feet. Paul's family was here and I heard his mama comment on how much work I'd done on Rambler. After they left I decided to work with him in the round pen a little. It did not go well. I had a hard time keepin my temper in check. He wouldn't back. I don't know why this concept is so hard for him. It was so simple to teach Wiley. And Sunshine, and I taught her to back when she was over 10 years old (for some reason, no one ever taught her that!). But Rambler just doesn't get it. I used the same methods I used on Wiley. And then I was swinging the end of the lead rope in a circle to encourage him to MOVE, and got it too close to his head and hit his eye. I felt horrible. He couldn't open it for like 10 minutes, and it was running really bad. I think he's okay but jeez. I hurt him. I just can't teach him. Paul's dad had been teasin me earlier about hoppin on and breakin him the old way (the cowboy way), but gettin on that horse is the farthest thing from my mind right now. I just want him to BACK and respect me and my space.

Poor thing, even when his eye was runnin and it was obvious he wasn't comfortable, he was still puttin his head to my stomach and wanted me to rub him. He's so sweet, he just can't seem to learn very easily...not from me, at least. :/

I was on such a high after workin with Wiley and he did so well. It makes me proud to know that *I* did that all by myself. Yeah, he's still a wuss about a lot of things, and needs LOTS more experience under his belt, but he listens to me and I can calm him down when he goes nuts over somethin stupid. And he's still so young, so I know he'll grow out of a lot of this. Either way, I'm proud of my work with him. And then I work with Rambler and get nowhere. Its very frustrating. Maybe Wiley is the only horse I'll ever really connect with like that. Good thing I had already decided after I "broke" him that I didn't want to do that again, cause it looks like I won't be. :/

March 13

2010-03-13T10:01:00.002-05:00

I had a pretty good week. I rode Sunshine after work on Tuesday, just like I planned. She was great. I actualy put the saddle on her - first time in a while! - and really worked her. We cantered all around the field next door. She needs to build up muscles, and so do I. It was so fun.

Wednesday, I hopped on Junior (bareback, I try to avoid saddles if possible, haha) for a few minutes. His leg/foot hasn't been swollen since I rode him last Sunday, so I'm gonna keep ridin him lightly. Of course, we rode for all of 10 minutes before it started to rain, and I just wasn't feelin gettin wet. And of course, as soon as I put him away the rain stopped and it didn't rain any more until that night! But those few minutes were still good for his circulation, so it was all good.

Thursday, it rained, so no riding. But Paul and I went to eat at Outback with a gift card we got for our anniversary. It was a bit of a celebratory dinner since my boss told me that day that I'm getting a raise! Not a huge raise, but it will make a difference. At least he's happy with me and wants to keep me! (I was on a trial period for 90 days.)

Yesterday, it was rainy again so no riding. I came home and layed on the couch for a while before I went outside to feed. Paul and his dad were out there starting to build a chicken coup. Yep, we're gettin chickens. I think Paul said they'd be here next month or May. They'll be just a few days old when they arrive. I'm actually excited about the chickens, but don't tell Paul! haha

Last night was very relaxing. I cooked some baked spaghetti (Paul and I don't like regular spaghetti, only when its baked - go figure) then took a long bath. Wonderful. And was in the bed before 10pm! Always a good thing.

I didn't get up today until almost 9am, but I didn't feel guilty. I feel SO much better this morning than I have been. It rained really hard last night, so I'm not sure if I'll ride or not. But whatever I do, I will have a relaxing day! But first I must tackle some chores around here... ( :

March 8 (yesterday)

2010-03-09T07:38:00.002-05:00

Well, Sunday ended up pretty good. My sister-in-law Katlyn came over to ride with me. She rode Sunshine and I hopped on Junior bareback. Sunshine was perfect, of course. I was a little worried about Junior's leg/feet since they've been so swollen lately. We rode about an hour, just walking. It was wonderful. And the best part was, yesterday morning his leg wasn't swollen at all! In fact, it was the smallest its been in weeks/months! So I guess some exercise was good for him. Which means I will be getting him out more often.

Yesterday after work I felt like absolute crap. I was nauseous, had a headache, and just felt bad. But I was determined to ride, since the days are gettin longer and it was so NICE outside. Katlyn came over again, and I let her ride Sunshine again, while I got on Wiley. I worked Wiley in the arena for a while, then we walked around the field. He was really good in the arena, but he usually is in there. I knew he'd be terrified outside, and he was! We had a pallet propped up at the back of the field from where we were doing target shooting last week, and I knew it would freak Wiley out. It did. When we got about 20 yards away from it, he backed up and spun in a circle all at the same time, tryin to get back home. I hung on, though I did loose a stirrup. It took forever to get him to walk up to the wood and smell it. Silly pony. Then we walked through a lot of water (the back corner of the field is really low, so it pretty much stays underwater), and he didn't fuss too much about it - yay! All in all, it was a nice ride and good for Wiley. (Sunshine was, of course, perfect for Kate!)

I felt so much better after riding. Then we ate supper and I felt bad all over again. Got a horrible headache and the nausea came back. I went to bed at 10 and it didn't take me long to pass out. I slept until 7 and felt a lot better, until I went out to feed. I was bent over, dumping the beet pulp into Wiley's food bowl, when he jerked his head up. And it collided with mine. (He's done that several times before to me, and usually I'm more concious of where my head is in relation to his, but I wasn't all the way awake yet.) Hurt like I don't know what, and still does, but of course I have no kind of mark to prove it. Any time I hurt really bad, there's nothing there to show it. But if I just tap my leg on somethin, I'll get a huge bruise and it won't even hurt. Go figure.

Anyway, I'm plannin on ridin Sunshine today after work, since its still so nice outside. Rain's in the forecast the rest of the week, boo!

March 7

2010-03-07T13:14:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was a good day. Today, not so much. But hopefully I will be riding later, so that will help.

Yesterday my sister-in-law and I went to see "Alice in Wonderland" in 3d. It was awesome! My first 3d movie. Well, awesome except for all the aggorvating kids surrounding us - and the one in particular who had NO maners and his parents didn't even try to contain him.

I rode Sunshine afterwards, in the field next to our house. I cantered her a little bit and she was so out of breath! So out of shape, lol. But she was good.

Then I rode Wiley. He was actually good, though I had my doubts at first. He was a little "lookey-lookey" and a little fast/nervous, but he listened to me. He has really grown over the winter, without me realizing it. His halter doesn't fit his big head anymore, and the bridle is on the verge of not fitting. Surprisingly, the saddle still fits pretty well, though I had to work harder to get the girth tightened! He's got a belly on him, so I gotta work that off.

I groomed Junior, and thankfully his feet/legs were NOT swollen. I'm hesitant to ride him, though, until I have the vet out here. I also groomed Rambler, and he did great. He is so nippy though, cause everyone's always given him treats all the time. If he sees me, he starts mouthin me. Very annoying. All in all, a good day.

Feb. 28

2010-02-28T17:50:00.002-05:00

I finally had some horse time yesterday! It was so nice out, and I wasn't sick and didn't have anywhere to be - awesome. I rode Sunshine bareback for a while. I intended to just go around the fields here, but when we got to the trail in the woods, she turned that way, so I said "why not?" We haven't cleaned up the trail yet, but I wanted to see how far I could go. It was tough - very slow going, but we got a good ways into the woods before I gave up and turned her around. Lots of downed trees/limbs and briars everywhere. Maybe we'll get that cleaned up soon...

I thought about ridin Wiley, but I was a little hesitant since its been so long since I've done anything at all with him. I decided to play it by ear. He started actin stupid the minute he cleared the gate, so I went right to work on his manners. It took a few minutes, but he finally re-realized that *I* am still the boss and he needs to listen to me. I decided to stop at that, so I groomed him and put him back up. I was gonna ride him today but it was so dang windy that I didn't want to get out there. Maybe one day this week, since the days are gettin longer...

I took Rambler out and groomed him, tied to the hitchin post. He did pretty well. He was fussy about pickin up one of his feet, but he got better.

Then I took Junior out with the intention of hoppin on him bareback for a few minutes. When I picked out his feet, though, I noticed that both his back feet were HOT. They were both swollen at the pasturn. I hosed him down and put some balm on them, and this morning they were better. I just don't know why he keeps swelling like that. The other horses' feet/legs are fine. The vet's comin out in a few weeks for spring shots, and I will definitely ask her about this. He stays swollen all the time, but it doesn't really seem to bother him. He's not lame at all, and they're not tender to the touch. ??

Feb. 22

2010-02-22T13:13:00.003-05:00

Well, I guess its about time I updated this blog. Not that I have a whole lot to report. Haven't done anything with the horses in a while, its been too wet. My pasture actually dried out toward the end of last week but last week was so crazy that I didn't have time to do anything with the horses. Plus, I started gettin sick. I'm still fightin off a sinus infection.

Last Monday was awful. Paul woke me up with the news that his aunt Mary Jo passed away that morning. Then my aunt Jeanette went to the ER; she'd been sick with a stomach bug for several days and was dehydrated. Turns out it was the norovirus (I've had that before, it's NASTY). Then, a few hours later, my grandma was rushed to the hospital and stayed there until Thursday night. They're still not sure what was wrong with her, but while she was there she got a urinary tract infection. She's home now and is still weak but she's okay.

So, the rest of the week was busy busy busy. Funerals and visiting the hospital and school work and work. And fighting off gettin sick! Ugh.

Saturday morning, Paul and I got up and drove to Myrtle Beach for our anniversary. We have decided we probably won't be going back there. It just wasn't our cup of tea. We enjoyed the acquarium, the Carolina Opry, and the Alligator Adventure place, but that's about it. We got so bored Saturday afternoon that we went to the movies and saw "Sherlock Holmes" (which was really good). And we were home yesterday by 5pm! But like I told Paul, we were together and that's what matters. ( :

For Valentine's Day (yes, I am randomly jumping around with my topics, I know!), Paul sent flowers to me at work that Friday. We had plans on Sunday (the 14th) to eat lunch with his parents and spper with mine, so we celebrated Saturday night. He cooked a nice meal for me, steaks (which he cut into hearts - so cute!), baked potatoes, garlic bread, blueberry cobbler (homemade), and wine. Very romantic. ( : It was the perfect end to a fun day of playing in the snow.

Well, I don't really have anything else to update...I don't think. I'm just kinda bored right now, here at work. I'm supposed to be doing some school work but I am so lost that I don't know where to begin. So I'm watching "The Young & The Restless" and surfing the web. ( :

Jan. 28

2010-01-28T18:53:00.002-05:00

Almost the weekend again. These days are FLYING by lately! I guess its cause I'm not watchin the clock at work, so the work days don't drag on.

Update on the horses' feet/hooves: Sunshine is over the fungus, or whatever it was. I put some good stuff on her pasturns and it went away in a few days. It rained a LOT last weekend (over 4 inches), but it also rained really hard. Which made the gushing water carve a small trench in the pasture. Which was a good thing, because that let the ground around the trench dry out a lot. Now that I can see where the water naturally wants to flow, I can keep it dug out so maybe it won't be SO bad around here.

Junior's left front leg has been slightly swollen all week. I assumed it was due to the mud caked on. Last night I hosed him down and medicated his legs just in case (the stuff I use also helps with swelling). Today, it was swollen again, though no mud. So I got to lookin and noticed a cut on his cannon. Yay. That danged horse, every little scrape means he's gonna swell all up! Its not a bad cut, so I medicated it and I'll keep an eye on it. May give him some bute for the swelling tomorrow if its not better. (Anyone have any thoughts on why he swells so easily??)

Last Saturday I put the horses on the cow's pasture to give them a break from the mud. They were estatic! Wiley and Rambler ran pretty much the whole day. Blowin off steam, I guess. They tore the cow's pasture up, but its okay.

One night this week - I think it was Monday - I was feedin the horses and accidentally took a mud bath. :/ I was walkin to Sunshine's bowl, and chasin her cause she was bein a butt and tryin to get to Junior's bowl (oh for barn with stalls!!), when my foot got stuck in the mud. I went down, mud gushed into my glove and up my sleeve, and all into my rubber boot. I. was. pissed! (But I can now say that I know EXACTLY where NOT to walk in the pasture!)

And that's about it for the horsey updates. Nothing too exciting. I stopped by my former student's house, Tammy, the other night. She's got a brand-new 3 horse slant load tag along trailer - so nice. She goes on trail rides all the time, and has invited me along th e next time. When I have the vet out to do spring shots (soon), I'm gonna get a coggins pulled for Wiley. He's goin on a trail ride this spring! He needs to get out and see the world, experience some things. Should be interesting.

Jan. 16

2010-01-16T18:36:00.002-05:00

Today was good. I was a little lonely at times, but it was okay overall. I slept until 10 am (I'm doing that more and more lately...), then went and got my dog, Becker, from Mama's. I cleaned off the front porch, then cleaned out the horse's shelter. Then I let Becker follow Junior and I around the field next to the house. It was fun, but I could tell Junior's feet were a little sore, so I didn't ride him long. (All that wet weather followed by the ground freezing has NOT been kind to my horses' hooves.)

I was going to ride Sunshine next, but when I started picking out her feet I noticed what looked kind of like big flakes of dandruff around her pasturns. When I touched them, big chunks of her hair fell out. I guess she's got some type of fungus from the wet, though it hasn't been wet lately here. I cleaned all 4 feet/legs with Iodine shampoo and put some medicine on them. But of course its supposed to rain tonight and all day tomorrow, so I'm sure whatever is wrong with her feet will just get worse. And I'll have nowhere dry to put her. Luckily, whatever it is hasn't affected the other horses, just Sunshine.

Jan. 10

2010-01-10T16:39:00.002-05:00

Well, I was right. The weekend has been pretty uneventful. Which is a nice thing. Friday night, Paul and I watched "The Lion King" and ate pizza, pretty low-key. I spent yesterday morning with my family, eating breakfast and then playing my cousin's Wii Fit (which I LOVED cause it said I lost 2 lbs since last week!). Then I braved the cold for the first time in a WHILE and rode Sunshine. The ground's frozen around here, and my horses feet are tender from walkin on it constantly, so we just lazed around. The people next to us have finally picked the beans in that huge field, so I wandered all around that. Very relaxing. And I actually wasn't cold cause I was bundled up in my Carrhartt coat and overalls.

Last night, Paul and I had a date night, which was great. Nothing exciting, we just went to Cracker Barrel in Smithfield. Today after church, we cooked lunch instead of goin to eat with his parents or mine, then played the Wii for a while and rode to Wal-Mart. A very relaxing weekend, in short. Which is good cause this week looks to be pretty busy; my boss will finally be back in town, so I'll have to actually work (haha) 4 days this week. Paul's dad's birthday is tomorrow night, so we'll be eating supper with them. Tuesday right after work I'm attending a tax seminar for Mary Kay, Wednesday night I'll be at church, and Thursday I'm goin to the chiropractor. Good thing I've rested up this weekend! ( :

Jan. 8

2010-01-08T13:15:00.002-05:00

Well, this week has been interesting. My boss' father-in-law passed away Monday night. He left early Tuesday and hasn't been back since. So I've had basically nothing to do the past 3 days...it hasn'tbeen bad thoug. Relaxing.

Yesterday, my new cousin made her appearance into the world! Allie was born at 4:55pm. I went to the hospital to see her mother, Katie, around lunch time. They were waiting for the doctor to come break her water (she was induced). I got back to the hospital around 5:30, and no one had been allowed in the delivery room yet, so I hadn't missed anything. Katie's mother and fiance (my cousin Stephen) were there during the delivery. Around 5:45, we were allowed in the room (me, my Aunt Karen, and Uncle Jerry - Stephen's parents). I got to hold Allie when she was less than 1 hour old! I'd never held a baby that young before...it was awesome. Pics are up on facebook, which I'm sure my avid readers have already seen, lol.

I went to the hospital again today on my lunch break. I'll post those pics tonight when I get home (left my camera cable at home, bummer). Allie's already changed so much! Still cute, though. And TINY! They'll get to go home tomorrow morning, so I may ride back to town to visit them at home. We'll see. I'm sure they'll want some time to settle in back home. I'm tryin not to crowd them. But I've been so supportive of Katie throughout the whole pregnancy - threw her a baby shower and everything - you'd think she wouldn't mind.

This weekend looks to be pretty event-free. Maybe I'll feel like braving the cold and go ride a horse or 2.

2009 wrap-up

2010-01-02T10:43:00.002-05:00

Well, everyone's blogging about 2009 this week, so I'm jumping on the bandwagon. I don't really have much else to talka bout anyway. Work is going well, still getting the hang of things. My boss' father-in-law is dying in Florida, so my boss has been back and forth a lot, so things are still crazy. Once that's over, I should see how things really are. But so far, I like it.

My horses are pitiful. Its rained so much lately that everything is flooded, basically. This morning, everything was also frozen, and I could tell their feet were hurting. So I've got them in the arena eating grass today. Did that yesterday, too. The arena is ruined now, but if it helps their feet and legs, its okay. The farrier came yesterday and said their feet were getting soft but they weren't too bad. Paul has suggested putting them out with the cows, but I'm kind of nervous to do that. One of the cows has really sharp horns...

So I guess I'll just go through my 2009 like everyone else has. Usually I like to do my own thing and NOT follow the crowd, but today I figured, why not?

January: Paul and I had lots of premarital counseling sessions with both our preachers. We didn't learn much about each other that we didn't already know, but it was still good. My friends threw me a lingerie shower and we had a blast. My family threw Paul and I a shower at church, and we got LOTs of gifts. We had a couple of snow days when things were really pretty and I got to stay home from work a few days.

February: I think the obvious one here is I got married! February 21st. Seriously, one of my favorite days ever. I made up my mind that I was going to enjoy the day, and I did. Even when things went wrong, I just laughed it off and let someone else handle it (cause that's what they were there for!). I had to do homework that night (because blackboard was down the night before), but we laughed about it. Paul and I stayed in our house for the first time, then got up Sunday morning and drove down to Charleston, SC, for 4 days of honeymooning. It was wonderful. Freezing cold, but wonderful. I absolutely adore Charleston. I'd go there every year if I could!

One week after the wedding, I helped out at a vaccination clinic for equines and met my vet, Dr. Smith - that turned out to be a really good move on my part!

March: Dr. Smith finally figured out what's wrong with Junior - advanced degenerative joint disease. She set up a treatment plan, and so far he's still doing fine! He can't do anything more than walk/trot under saddle, but he's a lot better off than he was.

April: The first weekend, Mary-Marshall and I went to Stokesdale for a training clinic. It was very imformative and neat to watch. Good trip. Paul's grandma died that month, which was really sad. We all drove down to SC to watch one of Paul's sister's last college softball games.

May: I turned 26, and Paul turned 28. I had an awesome birthday because Paul sent me on a treasure hunt with clues to find a bunch of presents. It was really sweet. Paul's sister graduated from college, my cousin went to her senior prom. Neither of those events were about me, but they were a big deal to our families, and thus they were memorable for me.

June: The Thornton reunion. It was fun but would have been better if it wasn't so HOT, and if I could have gotten in the sun a little, instead of havin to cower in the shade so I wouldn't get burned and have an allergic reaction! That was the month Rambler came to live with us, too. Actually, the day he came was a big day for me: I had to work at the lab, Rambler came, Paul and I made homemade pickles, I taught a riding lesson, and then I went to a bar to hear my brother's band play (and had an awesome time!). Oh, and on that same day my cousin had her graduation party. That day makes me tired just thinkin about it, lol!

July: July 4th cookout here at our house. It was so much fun. We got Paul's family and mine together. I loved it. Then on the 24th I got laid off from the lab. Bad, bad day for me. I rode the horses a LOT for a while after that. I was depressed, but tried to play it off, and I think I did well at that.

August: Went to see Nickleback in concert in Raleigh - awesome show. I had a sleep study done and the conclusion was that I was excessively sleepy during the day -duh! I think I've over whatever that was, though. Went to the beach, got sunburned, had a reaction, blah blah blah. It sucked! Went to Wray Hill Farm with one of my students to look for her a new horse. Didn't find it there but saw some beautiful horses. Went to a Durham Bulls game with Paul's family, which was a lot of fun.

September: Nothing exciting to report from this month!

October: On the 10th a couple of friends and I had what we hoped to be a big party for Mary Kay, Thirty-One, and Premier Jewelry, but only 15 people showed up! It was still fun and I did make a lot of money. Went on the 7 States in 4 Days trip with the Thorntons. I can't really say that it was "fun," since we spent the majority of the time driving, but it was okay. At least we got to spent a lot of time together! Then we had the harvest sale at my church, where I worked my butt off all day! But that really was fun.

November: Daddy turned 60 and we had a big birthday party for him, which was a lot of fun. The next day I went to Quaker Lake with some people from my church. Beautiful place, but I came home sick! The next weekend, I and some others in my family hosted a baby shower for my cousin and his fiance. It was a success. "New Moon" came out the next week, and I went to see it twice.

December: Finally got a job! Started on the 16th. Paul's friend Bradley got married and it was an evening wedding, so I had the excuse to dress all up. Love that! We had lots and lots of Christmas parties to go to, so the month was kind of crazy. But fun. Then my cousin Matt got married the Sunday after Christmas, and I was the photographer. Got a lot of compliments on that, and now his sister Brandi wants me to shoot her wedding next summer.

Christmas was wonderful. Exhausting, but good. Paul and I got up at 6 and opened presents with each other. Then we had breakfast with his parents and siblings, opened presents with them, then went to my mother's house. We had breakfast again with them and a lot of my family, opened presents again. Then we went to his grandma's house for lunch and more presents. Then back to my grandma's house for lunch again (actually, Paul didn't eat that time, but I did!) and more presents. And for supper, we went back to Paul's parent's house, but no one ate much. We did have punch, though - a tradition. Then everyone came back here to play our new Wii. (My parents got that for us. We were shocked and so happy!) The next day, I had no energy left. I did nothing except clean the house and then lay around the couch!

Which is what today's gonna look like if I don't get a move on...! Happy 2010! May this year be as good - if not better - than last! ( :

Dec. 20

2009-12-20T18:19:00.002-05:00

Well, I got a B in my class!! The professor gave us a huge curve on the final since most everyone failed it. And I got a 94 on the group project (WAY higher than the class average for that). I'm pretty happy with it all. ( :

Work has been goin good so far. I haven't learned a whole lot yet. My boss had a family emergency last week, so he was in Florida, so of course we didn't have any patients coming in. Thursday the girl that's training me and I spent the whole day delivering Christmas gifts to doctor's offices around Goldsboro. It was actually exhausting! The computer program we use for patient info is very basic and easy to use, so I've already caught on to it. I've learned how to answer the phone - so hard, haha - and schedule patients to come in. And that's about it. But the boss will be back tomorrow, and we've got several patients coming in, so I'll finally really learn something. But so far, I like it. I think I'm going to like workin here. But its gonna be sad sometimes because most of our patients are elderly diabetics, so I'm guessing they won't be around long.

Today we went to a Christmas party for Paul's mama's side of the family, the Waddells. It was really fun. We had a HUGE good meal and then played Christmas-themed games, and then a game kind of like the Newlywed Game. I had so much fun!

And then I got back to the truck and got my phone. Mama had called me 4 times in the past hour. So naturally I called her back. (Of course she didn't leave any messages.) She wanted to know if we were coming to church tonight to the candelight service and all, and that she is playing the piano tonight for church. Well, that was the first I'd heard of it, and we'd pretty much told Paul's family that we'd be at THEIR church for the Christmas play. Of course, Mama didn't take that well. She made me feel like crap, and I've been pretty pissed since 4:30. But I'm going to the Christmas play. I'm so tired of her puttin me in the middle and making me choose between her and Paul ALL THE TIME, and making me feel like crap every time I go to Eureka instead of Rhodes (even though we said when we got married that we'd go mostly to Paul's church). I'm so sick of it! And on Sundays we rotate eating lunch with Paul's mother and mine. And Mama throws a FIT if something comes up and we can't eat with her. It drives me crazy! I've asked her and asked her to stop and tried to tell her what it does to me. But obviously she doesn't care. ugh.

today's the day!

2009-12-16T07:17:00.002-05:00

Well, I start work today! In about 2 hours, actually. Which means I gotta get off this computer and go get ready! I'm so excited. Excited to finally be working, and excited to be done with this stupid finance class that has ruled my life the past 4 months! And I have no idea what's gonna happen with that...I failed the exam yesterday, and that brought my grade down to a C. I'm waiting on my project grade, and to see how much of a curve he's gonna give the class. Praying for a B. (If he sticks me with a C, graduate school is over for me...)

Anyway, my friend Emily did come over to ride yesterday with me. Pics are up on facebook. I didn't get any of me cantering Wiley because the arena was SO wet and I didn't want to tear it up any more than I was at the trot. Plus, he was bein a snot-head. But it was fun. I LOVE having someone to ride with. ( :

Dec. 14

2009-12-14T07:41:00.002-05:00

What a great weekend! Paul and I had so much fun just being together. I'm so blessed to have such a loving husband, even though things are not always...what's that saying? something and roses?

Friday night we didn't do a thing but hang out at the house. Saturday, we got up early, went to the grocery store and got stuff for the party we had that night. It wasn't a big party, just his parents and sisters. I.e, the people that help him run Thornton Nursery so he doesn't have to spend every waking hour there! He does something for them every year, and this year he decided to cook and make it a "party." We had a FEAST! Grilled chicken, mac n' cheese, rice, butter beans, biscuits, fried potatoes, and cake and strawberries (frozen from the summer - mmm!). It was delicious. Then Paul had this whole game set up, like the tv show Let's Make A Deal. It was so fun! Everyone went home with prizes from Thornton Nursery. (I ended up with $50 off my humongous feed bill, so that was nice! And yes, I pay Paul for my horse's feed. People always seem amazed that I have to pay, but really, I don't expect him to feed MY animals! They eat a LOT!) Anyway, after all that, I was completely exhausted.

I've been getting up early lately, to prepare myself for going back to work. And I'm having the same problem I was a few months ago, before I started sleeping in - I don't want to stay awake all day! I thought I was over it, but now that I'm up at 6:30 or so, I just get so dang sleepy in the afternoon. So I guess I'll have to get back on my "awake" pills. Ugh.

Yesterday was wonderful. It rained all day. We went to church, ate with Paul's parents, hung out with them for a little while, then spent the rest of the afternoon on the couch together, watchin tv. We NEVER get to do that! Paul fell asleep, but it was still good. Then my friend Emily came over for a while. And she's always a hoot. Oh! And we watched a great movie last night - "Rob Roy." I highly recommend it. Especially if you like Liam Neeson - NAKED! lol

Oh, I almost forgot the main purpose in this post. I actually rode a horse Saturday! Shocker, I know. haha. It's been almost a month since I rode Wiley (the big gash on his face was right where the bridle goes, and it was really painful for him), but I got him out Saturday. He was so good! Time off has never affected him much, thank goodness. The arena was squishy, but we were able to ride without tearing it up. Wiley was a scaredy-cat in one corner but after a few laps he got over it. I had to do the baby-talk to him, though. That is so funny to me. But it works! We even cantered a little. And he acted like it wore him out, poor thing. I think he was overreacting, though. But! it was a nice slow, smooth canter so I was happy. I love my pony. ( :

Tomorrow, Emily wants me to teach her how to ride, so I'm gonna make her take pics of me on Wiley first! But first, I have to get through my exam in the a.m., so pray for me! ( :

Dec. 7

2009-12-07T09:14:00.002-05:00

Dang, December already! Time is flying.

I haven't been blogging because I haven't had much to blog. Nothing horse-related, anyway. Its been so flooded here that there's no where to ride without tearing up the ground and I'm not gonna do that. Water is standing in my arena (and it slopes down!), and the poor horses are knee-deep in mud pretty much all the time. They can go under the shelter and be in dry ground, but it rained so hard one day last week that 1/2 of the shelter is wet, too. One day, I WILL have a barn with stalls, and when it rains, my babies are gonna be locked up! Then they won't ruin my pasture, and they won't have to stand in mud all day. One day...

Everyone already knows this, but I did get the job I was talking about. I start next Wednesday. Which is perfect, because my final exam is Tuesday. So I'll be totally done with this stupid class. Of course, I'll be starting another one in a few weeks, but I'll worry about that when January gets here! I'm super excited to start my new job. I think I'm gonna like it; I hope so, at least! Paul's worried that I won't like it because it's just gonna be me and my boss, and he's only there 3 days a week normally. Paul thinks I'll be bored. But I've been alone these past 4 months and its okay. I mean, I'm happier when people come to visit me or when I can get out and see my friends, but as long as I stay busy I don't mind being alone. It sure will be nice to work without all the drama we had at the lab! Too many girls in one building, for sure.

The best part about my new job is I don't have to dress up! I was worried about that, because I don't have very many dress clothes. But I will just be wearing khakis and a polo shirt every day. I did have to buy pants, though. I don't like to wear khakis because I always seem to get them dirty! Buying pants was a fun experience yesterday - not. I HATE buying pants. It takes me so long to find any that fit. Even when I find a brand and style I like - Old Navy Sweetheart jeans! - I have to try on each pair that I buy because no 2 pair are alike. I finally found some pants I could live with in JCPenny, so I bought 2 pair. I don't like identical pants, but oh well.

Saturday I went to Pepperwood. That was fun. Fun and kind of sad at the same time. Because it reminded me that *I* could be there every day, around all those horses, working. If I had stayed in Raleigh after I graduated from State, I'd still be working there I'm sure. It was my dream, to work at a big farm like that. And if it wasn't an hour away I'd work there anyway. But oh well. It was nice seeing my old friends again - and "my" old ponies! I always thought of all Meredith's horses as mine, lol. I was invited to ride, but it was getting colder and colder, and I wasn't dressed for riding, and I didn't have my helmet (I don't wear other people's - ew! haha), and I just wanted to get home before it got late. But I foresee that I'll be going back to ride soon.

The "purpose" of the trip was because Pepperwood was having a tack sale/exchange. Of course, I don't have much money, but I've been wanting a few more saddle pads for Sunshine and Wiley. I got THREE for $12! Of course, they're used but they're still in good shape. I'm excited about my new-used pads, haha. Now, if I can just RIDE my horses and use the pads! Its supposed to rain today, tomorrow, AND Wednesday.

These are my last few days of "freedom." Now that I have a job, I don't mind sitting here like I've been. It changes my whole perspective. Now I feel like I'm on vacation, and its over next Wednesday. Of course, this week will be a boring vacation - I'm studying every spare minute for the final exam. I have a low B right now. We will probably get a B on the project. If I fail the final - like I failed the midterm (before the rework was allowe) - I'll drop to a C. Which is not acceptable. One more C and they'll kick me out of grad school. But I've worked hard this semester and if this stupid professor doesn't give me a B I'm gonna go hurt him. Not really, but I will give him a piece of my mind!

Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T20:33:00.002-05:00

Today was a good day. It had its moments of not-so-goodness, of course, but overall it was nice.

I spent the morning at Mama's and Grandma's, then Paul and I went to his grandma's for lunch. After that we went to my grandma's for 2nd lunch. haha. I really did eat 2 full meals, too - dessert and all. I was miserable. But it was so good! Then I came home and decorated the house for Christmas - all I'm missing is the tree. We ate supper at Paul's mother's house, which was nice. I think I've gained 10 pounds today though!

I am almost done with my Christmas shopping, thankfully. I have 4 more people to buy for, and I think they're all gettin gift cards. I am never done this early, but it is NICE!

Oh! And I can't remember if I blogged this or not, but I went on a job interview last Friday. The guy called me back yesterday and wants to see me again on Tuesday. The way he sounded, its just to talk about the pay and benefits. He said I had the best interview, I'd probably be the best fit with his practice, and he liked the thank-you note I sent. Yay!! The practice is NC Orthotics and Prosthetics. He's not a doctor, but he's certified to do that kind of thing. Its pretty neat stuff. I am SUPER excited because after the interview I knew I wanted this job. He seemed like a nice guy and a good boss, and the work sounds interesting. We'll see. I'm not telling everyone yet (i.e, facebook) cause its not a sure thing. But I've told the family. I've prayed and prayed that if this guy offered me the job I'd know what to say. And my prayers have been answered. Unless he offers me some ridiculously low pay, there will be no hesitation from me! ( :

So that's it for this week, I guess. The only thing on the agenda tomorrow is to put up Grandma's Christmas tree, and try to ride a horse or 2.

I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving like me! ( :

nov. 23

2009-11-23T09:20:00.002-05:00

I canNOT believe its almost Thanksgiving. Which means its almost Christmas. And as of tomorrow, I will have been unemployeed for 4 months. Ugh. I really hoped I'd get a job before Christmas... This is the first year I've had to shop on a budget. I usually save up my money for Christmas, and am able to buy whatever I want for my family. Not this year. This sucks. But I am thankful that we're able to buy presents at all!

Let's see...I rode exactly 2 times last week. Sunshine on Monday and Wiley on Tuesday. Oh wait, I hopped on Junior Wednesday I think to check the fences. How exciting. Its just so WET around here that there's no where to ride without tearing up the ground. My arena has been flooded, as are the pastures. And the corn field is fenced up with the cows in it so I can't ride in there either. (Well, maybe I could but I don't trust the bull, and my horses are retarted and scared of cows!) I've got 1/2 the horses' pasture fenced off to grow rye, and they're out on it a few hours every day. But its so flooded that I don't think the rye will grow anymore. And the horses keep gettin too excited while they're out there, and they run and tear everything up. The area that they're left in most of the time is a mud pit. It used to be 1/2 dirt/mud and 1/2 grass, but with all the rain they've turned the entire thing into mud. No grass left at all. I can barely walk out there. But there's nothing we can do about it. And it just keeps on raining...*sigh.*

Friday was a happier day. I went on a job interview after lunch. I should hear from the guy this week. I'm tryin not to get my hopes up. He thinks I'm overqualified and that I'll be bored there. So we'll see. God's will be done. ( :

After that, I went to Raleigh to see "New Moon!" I went with Katlyn (sister-in-law), my friend Jess, and her friend Kim. And we met Lauren and Joy, 2 women from church, up there. We went to the theatre at North Hills. It was really nice. And the movie was awesome. Not such a disappointement like I thought it would be! It was kind of annoying though. There were a LOT of young girls there (we went at 4pm) and every single time Edward or Jacob came on the screen, they SCREAMED. No lie. Ridiculous. After the movie, we went to eat at Bonefish Grill. It was good, but I doubt I'll be back. Not my type of restaurant at all.

But I had the best time that night. I actually got to talk to people and be silly. I'm alone here all the time so it was wonderful to interact. lol that sounds strange. I just started being friends with Jess this summer, though I've known her her entire life (she's younger than me). And her husband is in the air force and they're movin to England in January. I'm really sad cause I've finally found a friend HERE (and not an hour away) and now she's leavin. And Paul gets along with her husband, so its been great. At least now I have a good excuse to finally travel to England! (when I get a job and save up some money!)

Saturday was pretty uneventful. I went to the MOC Alumni softball game with Paul's family and had a good time, but it was cold. Then I had to go to a funeral, which really sucked. It was for my old farrier, Kirby. He had a heart attack while shoeing a horse. I haven't used him in years, but I always liked him. In the summer of 2002, he was like a 2nd father to me. And his 4 boys became my brothers. Its a really long story, one I'll always cherish. I didn't cry at the funeral, cause I almost never cry in public, but I lost it on the way home. Anyway.

Yesterday, Paul and I did some Christmas shopping. I'm headed to town shortly to do some more. I'm hoping to be finished before Black Friday. I avoid going to town the entire weekend after Thanksgiving. I just can't take everyone acting so stupid about buying things.

So that's my life in a nutshell. ha

nov. 16

2009-11-16T18:00:00.002-05:00

So I've been sick for the past week. Again. Actually, this was the first sinus infection I've had since January or February, so that's a new record for me. I was literally bed- or couch-ridden for 6 straight days. Ugh. But I got some antibiotics, a new nose spray, and had accupuncture done on my face - I highly recommend that for sinus troubles.

By Saturday, I felt better but I was just so tired and achy. After the baby shower, I crashed at 8:30 and slept until almost 9 Sunday morning! I can't seem to get enough sleep. I went to sleep last night around 11:30-12, and I didn't wake up until 8am. And I've been dragging all day.

I did hop on Sunshine for a few minutes today, just long enough to go around the corn field and check the fence. The cows are out there now, and the deer love to tear down fences so we have to check them regularly. It was nice to get on my horse again! And then I groomed everyone really good; they needed it after all this mud! They're all still dusty - I'm renaming Wiley Pigpen, haha - but look much better. You can tell what color they are now, at least!

My babies are so good. I've started letting them out on the other 1/2 of the pasture to eat the rye grass. Only an hour or 2 every day for now. But they're so good about it. Every time I go out there to get them and bring them back "in," I just whistle and they all come running, no fuss. Its awesome. I love my babies. ( :

2009-11-06T07:04:00.003-05:00

Well, I didn't ride yesterday. Broke my streak of riding every day this week. Oh well. Walking was painful, I couldn't imagine bouncin around on my pony. I felt awful.

But I did teach a lesson last night. The girl was good. So was Sunshine. Actually, Sunshine rocked that lesson. She listened to every move that girl made, thankfully. We worked on cantering, and the girl was absolutely terrified. The first time Sunshine cantered, she screamed. Like bloody murder. So Sunshine stopped. And was fine. And then the girl started crying...argh. She cried and cried and cried, and nothing I said made her stop. But I finally told her she just had to push through her fear, cause Sunshine wanted to be good and she was stopping when the girl got too scared. I managed to get her to canter maybe 3 strides one more time, and I decided not to push the little girl any more. I was happy with that. At least she did it. Hopefully next week the canter won't be such a big, scarey thing for her. It probably doesn't help that she's been taking "lessons" for over a year and hadn't tried to canter yet. (Not my fault; she's been to 3 different places before me. Not that you could tell. When I got her, she couldn't steer or post the trot. Not sure what the others had ben doing with her for 8 months...!)

****

Okay, this is totally not horse-related, but I wanted to say this. I watched Grey's last night, of course. I'm a dedicated viewer. haha. I was talking about the show recently with some people at church. A LOT of people have stopped watching that show in the past year. Why? Cause they have GAY PEOPLE on there now. Seriously, that's their reason. Which is silly to me. Gay people are everywhere, right? On lots and lots of TV shows nowadays. Its a fact of life; some people are gay. I'm not sure where I stand on the issue. Part of me knows what I've been taught in church, about what the Bible says about homosexuals (well, what we interpret the Bible as saying), and then part of me is just like, hey, if you've found someone to love and they love you back, kudos. I don't personally know any gay people, so I've never had to think about it too much; its never impacted my life. (Well, I do have a gay cousin, and he has a hilarious story of how he and his husband had a baby...lol. But I don't know him; they live in CA.)

Anyway, sometimes Callie and Arizona on Grey's make me uncomfortable, with their affection for each other. Not enough to stop watching. I just doing like seeing girl-on-girl. But whatever. But last night, when AZ told Callie she loved her, it was just so...sweet. And the look on Callie's face...awesome. (Sarah Ramierez totally deserves some kind of award!) I don't know, it just made me feel a little differently about the whole "issue." Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

Not sure why I felt the need to share that. Being alone all day every day gives me a lot of time to think, and sometimes I think about wierd stuff! ( :

11/4/09

2009-11-04T18:30:00.003-05:00

Today was a good day. I spent time with Grandma this morning, helping her with stuff for Daddy's party. I did a little cleaning around here, and a little school work. I booked 2 facials for later this month - woohoo!

I rode Sunshine around 5, when it was getting dark. Paul was out in his deer stand in the edge of the corn field, but I had a feeling he wouldn't see any bucks tonight so I rode anyway. (I was right, by the way.) Sunshine was awesome! Getting out of the arena once in a while really does her good. She worked hard for me. And had no trouble with the canter, on either lead. It was actually even comfortable. I didn't worry with trying to get her to go round, I just let her be. We ended by walking around the corn field again. ( :

yesterday's ride

2009-11-04T08:00:00.002-05:00

I rode Wiley yesterday. I think I've figured out that my shoulder can't handle too much in one day, and riding one and cleaning out the barn is it. The barn was bad - I've let it go for almost a week now - and that took a lot out of me and my shoulder. Stupid shoulder. Its been hurtin like the dickens lately. That and my neck. It hurts if I overuse it, but (and this is stupid) it hurts REALLY bad if I DON'T use it at all. ?? Anyway.

Sometimes, I forget how young and immature Wiley is. He's usually such a good boy that its easy to forget he has no experience, and I can't just go wanderin off the farm on him. Though I'm tempted! His newest misbehavior is to act up when its time to put the bridle on him. Ever since the first time he's seen the bridle, he's never given me any trouble at all. He's always stood perfectly still and let me put the bit in his mouth. Lately, as soon as I get my arm around his head to get "into position," he starts backing up. We danced around for several minutes yesterday before I was finally able to get the dang thing on him. And once it was on, he stood there perfectly still, a perfect gentleman. Silly pony.

I worked him in the arena for a while first. He was worried about this one corner because there were some new hay bales stacked nearby, and I guess a monster was in them. So, after I felt secure in the fact that he wouldn't run away with me if he got scared, we went out and faced the monster. Wasn't too hard. Wiley trusts me, and that helps tremendously.

Then I took him out to the corn field (have I mentioned that I LOVE having no corn?? 5 acres of open riding space - yippee! (well, there are still remnants of corn, so I have to go in straight lines, but its still wonderful to be out of the arena!)). He was way better than I thought he'd be. I thought he'd be freaked out with all the open space around him, all the potential for scary things to come out and get him, haha. But he was cool with it. We even did some trotting. Which is where I could tell he was nervous. He did his annoying, almost-too-fast-to-post, unbalanced trot. But he listened to me when I asked him to stop. And when we walked back he didn't jig. I HATE jiggers!

All in all, I was pleased with the ride. I really wish someone could be out there with me sometime to take pictures. Wiley's gonna be a "real" grown up horse before I get any!

Today, my plan is to work Sunshine again. And possibly work with Rambler in the round pen. Depending on how dry it is. I think the round pen is in the lowest spot in the pasture, it stays muddy and wet. And I feel bad about making Rambler work in the muck. But that colt needs some serious work. He doesn't even go away from me when I head straight for him with my hands up, like I'm threatening him. He just doesn't get it. Or, rather, he just doesn't respect me enough to listen. We'll change that.

November already?

2009-11-02T13:11:00.002-05:00

Jeez, where has time gone? I can't believe its November. Almost Christmas...yikes. I have NO idea how I'm gonna be able to afford Christmas presents. *sigh*

It is FREEZING today! Not really, but its the coldest day we've had in a long time...maybe all season. I braved the cold and wind to ride Sunshine earlier. I was glad I did. She felt good and was eager to work. I just worked her in the corn field, up and down the rows. We didn't ride long, but it was a good ride. She canters so much better out in the open.

I'm debating on riding Wiley later, but I might have to put that off until tomorrow. I have a ton of errands to run today, and I'll be all over the place. And it'll be dark by 6. Ew.

10/30

2009-10-30T08:01:00.002-04:00

Seems like forever since I updated this thing, but it was just Tuesday. This has been a LOOOONG week. Monday, I bet I did school work for 7 hours. Tuesday was a little less, but only because I had to take a shower and get ready for some Mary Kay facials in town at 5:30. Which was insane, by the way.

Wednesday, more school. Probably 6-7 hours that day. I finally stopped around 6pm and hopped on Sunshine bareback. We rode all in the corn field. I love that the corn is gone!

After I rode, I spent some time in the pasture with my babies. I love doin that. They all fight for my attention, like kids. I started rubbin Junior's neck, in his favorite spot, and Sunshine got jealous and came over and her her head between me and him. So I had to rub her ears, her favorite spot. Then Wiley came over to smell my face. That's his thing. He comes up to me, stretches his neck waaaay out and sniffs (very loudly, I might add) all around my face. It cracks me up every time. Then he kept turnin around so I could scratch his butt. That horse is so spoiled.

I felt bad for Rambler cause the others wouldn't let him get closer, so I went to rub him a little. Of course, no one else liked that; they all followed me and ran him off. This went on for about 30 minutes. I just stood out there and rubbed my babies' favorite spots and watched them take turns bein jealous. So funny. Wiley will follow you all around the pasture backwards if you keep scratchin his butt. I need to get him on video doin that..!

Yesterday, I woke up to discover that the internet was down all over Grantham. Yay. Of course it happened on the day I had a quiz! I ended up goin to Tri County (the local electric company) where my uncle works. I spent most of the day in a vacated office, studying the online materials and then taking the quiz. Which I made a B on. ( :

I taught a riding lesson last night. The girl was good but she just can't get over her fear of cantering. She cantered once a while back, and did fine, but when Sunshine came back to the trot she fell off. I don't mean at the transition, though. She fell off like 50 yards later. Not sure why. But it freaked her out, and she associated falling off with cantering. A few weeks ago, at her last lesson (she's had the swine flu since then), Sunshine would get to that almost-canter phase she has, and the girl would scream WOAH and pull on the reins. Poor Sunshine. So last night, I had her work on other things - like woah-ing with her seat instead of the reins. I didn't push the canter issue cause Sunshine was bein kind of a brat, very "up." This girl has got to canter, though, soon. Her parents don't understand all the other progress she's making; they need to see something "impressive" like the canter.

Anyway. I'm leavin in a little while for Raleigh. Should be a fun day! ( :

10/27

2009-10-27T08:08:00.002-04:00

Okay. Lots goin on lately. As usual!

Last Wednesday, I got off my butt and RODE! Well, I really just piddled around the yard, but it was nice. I rode Sunshine around the field behind the house and got scared almost to death by a HUMONGOUS crazy-lookin spider! I ran into its web - which was the thickest web I've ever seen! I'm serious, the thing took a lot of effort to break through. Then the spider got on my arm. OMG that thing was scary. Its legs were black or brown like a normal spider. But its body was fat and round and HOT YELLOW! With black spots! Never seen one like it. Funny thing was, where he touched my arm burned like the dickens for about 30 minutes afterwards. Then it just went away. Wierd.

Anyway, I also hopped on Junior bareback and rode around the arena and yard for a while. That was nice.

That may have been the day that I worked with Rambler, too. Or maybe it was Thursday... Either way, I put him in the round pen and joined up with him. It took forever, but he really joined up well. Afterwards he followed me all around the round pen, and even stuck by my side after I opened the gate and walked around the pasture. I haven't had the chance to work with him since. He definitely needs sessions like that several times a week. But I'm not rushing this time; just takin is slow and easy with him. No more accidents or injuries to Nikki!

Thursday, I worked Wiley. I expected him to be crazy since he hadn't been ridden in several weeks, but he was awesome. I had to use the crop to get him to canter cause he was so lazy. But he remembered all the work I'd done with him about leg yielding and moving his haunches and all that. So I was happy.

Then I rode Sunshine again, bareback this time. I worked her in the arena, or attempted to. I don't know where her mind was, but it wasn't with me! When I asked for the canter, she seemed confused. When I finally got the canter, she'd canter a few steps, then it felt like she was falling apart and she went back to this crazy, irregular trot. I think she really wants to do a saddlebred gait but doesn't quite know how, and I'm not asking for that. I finally got a 1/2 way decent canter out of her and called it a day. Hopefully she was just havin an off day and that won't be a pernament behavior!

*****

Saturday was my church's annual harvest sale. I worked my butt off but it was fun. We peeled potatoes Thursday night and cleaned chickens Friday at lunch. And I was at church by 7:15am Saturday. And got home around 6pm, I think. It was a long day! But we raised more money than we ever have, so that was great.

My Daddy is turning 60 in a couple of weeks, and one of my sisters has decided to throw him a big bday party at the local Elks Lodge. Now I'm being dragged into helping her with it, along with our other sister. Only I have no idea what to do, and if it weren't for my friend Angela I wouldn't even know about the party! My family forgot to tell me, how about that? :/ Anyway, I need to find Daddy a cool present but he is the hardest man in the world to shop for. I'm open to suggestions!

Let's see...oh, last night I totally wasted some of Paul's money. :( He bought 5 bales of new hay last week. The guy sold them super cheap ($15 per round bale!) but it was excellent hay. We put them in our hay barn (which is the trailer for an 18-wheeler) with some other hay I had. By Sunday morning, the new hay smelled awful. Paul said it was just really sweet-smelling hay, but I thought somehting was wrong. Then I noticed dark, wet spots on the hay.

Yesterday morning, the wet spots were worse, there were little bugs all over the hay, and the smell was actually hurting my nose. Paul looked at them last night, and we had to get all the hay out. It had taken heat in the barn - not enough ventilation. That's never happened to me before. He's gonna burn one bale because it was hot all the way to the core, hot and slimy. Ew. We're hoping the other bales will cool down and be okay to feed the cows, but I don't know. I feel so bad for wasting his money. But thankfully we caught it before the bales caught fire!

Okay, I think that's all my updates. Friday I'm goin to Raleigh to see the Michael Jackson movie! I am way too excited about that. ( :

10/21/09

2009-10-21T19:02:00.003-04:00

Man, I'm slack about this blog. Sorry to all my avid readers...all 2 of you. lol

Not that I've had much to blog about. Today was the first time I've ridden a horse in 3 weeks! Can you believe it! I got kind of depressed a while back and didn't want to do anything, not even ride. I remember one day I went out there with the intention of riding Sunshine, and then just lot my motivation. So I just brushed them and spent time with them instead.

But I'm better now, thank God. Today I rode Sunshine and Junior. Not for long, but it was nice to be back in the saddle. ( :

Well, not much else to report. The people who read this blog are my friends on facebook so ya'll know what's been goin on with the rest of my life. see ya!

9/9/09

2009-09-09T12:45:00.002-04:00

My sister said today is a lucky day cause its 9/9/09. Its been a good day so far, but I don't know about "lucky." Maybe I'll get lucky and sell a bunch of Mary Kay today, that would be nice!

I went to the barn that Tammy's boarding Dollar at to ride and teach her this morning. I worked Dollar first. He needs a lot of work to be like I'd want him to be, but he's okay to ride right now. He's VERY stiff, especially to the right, and doesn't have very good brakes. And every once in a while, if you're going to the right, he likes to whip his head around and bolt to the left. Not sure what that's about. But I do know his previous owners had trouble with that, and judging from what I saw when we went to look at him, he got away with doing stuff like that.

The old man who owns the place, Tim, used to train western pleasure and I think reining horses. He knows a lot. And he's not afraid to tell you what he knows. Which is kind of annoying, but helpful at the same time. He watched me ride, which made me nervous. I'm not a western rider, by any stretch of the imagination. I'm english through and through. But I CAN ride, and I can work with horses like Dollar. And Tim told Tammy that I really knew what I was doing. She told me later, and my head swelled a little. haha.

Tim gave me a lot of good advice while I was riding, but most of it was things I already knew anyway and planned on doing. I was just going to work Dollar at the walk and trot and then let Tammy get on. She doesn't canter yet, and I'd really like to get him softer in the mouth and more flexible before I start working his canter. But Tim said he wanted to see Dollar at the lope. Okay, first of all, I don't really know how to do a "lope." Its not really the same thing as a canter. He wanted me to put Dollar in that western pleasure lope, where his head is on the ground and we're barely moving. I don't know how to do that, and neither does Dollar, which I thought was obvious. Plus, Dollar's previous owners never cantered him cause they didn't know how. I cantered him down the road that day we went and they were amazed.

So I put him on a circle and started trotting him. Tim says he wants to see him pick it up from a nice forward walk. I knew that wouldn't happen, but I tried anyway. I'm not sure if anyone's ever asked that horse to canter from the walk. Then Tim was tellin me to keep him collected and push from behind. I know to do that, but when a horse doesn't undersatnd its kinda hard. I'm sure we looked awful. I finally got him to canter but it was ugly. I was tryin to keep him collected and he thought I wanted him to stop cantering. Poor horse. So finally I just let him canter like he understood, and didn't worry about his head. He needs a lot of trot work before I do that again. And I tried to explain that to Tim, but he kept tellin me that the horse was "probably" trained the correct way when he was broke, he just doesn't remember. Um, I'm not sure he was ever taught some of this stuff. Lucky for Tammy, this kind of horse is my specialty. I love retraining. ( :

And I think Tim was just testing me to see what I knew. He seems like that kind of old cowboy. Cause he did tell Tammy I knew my stuff.

Anyway, afterwards Tammy came over here and rode Junior while I worked Sunshine. Junior was good for her. Sunshine was good but lazy! She gave me a nice canter to the right, and an okay canter to the left. We worked on jumping, which she did great at, but she got tired at the end. She's such a good baby. ( : And even though we were just in the arena, not 50 yards from the pasture, Wiley screamed the whole time. Silly boy.

Labor Day

2009-09-07T17:44:00.002-04:00

I haven't had a very exciting Labor Day, but it felt like any other day to me. Guess when you're unemployed holidays don't really matter cause you're already home. Anyway. I got up early cause Paul wanted to ride with me, but the weather was bad. So we went to Lowe's to get supplies for him to put up lights in my hay barn (cuase I know I'll be feeding in the dark soon). And I did 2 facials. And took my quiz, which I got an 80 on. Not too bad. Wish I had done better, but this material is kickin my butt. I need a tutor but I don't want to drive to Greenville for it. *sigh*

Yesterday Paul and I finally went on a trail ride! It was fun. He rode Junior and I was on Sunshine. I wanted to take Wiley out, but it was windy and I need his first real trail ride to be on a calm day. Sunshine and Junior were jumpy enough as it was, but they were pretty good. We even rode through some woods and made our own path, which Junior absolutely loved. He just plowed right through the brush, and Sunshine hugged his butt and tried to stay as close to him as possible. She's not one for taking the road less travled. haha. It was nice to have someone to ride with, someone who's not a student. ( :

Speaking of which, Tammy got her horse, Dollar, on Saturday. I took pics but haven't uploaded them yet. He's pretty. Settled right in without a fuss, like he'd been there forever. She even went that afternoon, bought a saddle and bridle, and rode him. I'm so proud of her. She says she's gonna keep taking lessons, but we'll see. Lots of people don't take lessons after they get their own horse. I didn't for a while. I just hope I can find some more students! Which reminds me, a teacher told me that I can make flyers and get the principal to distribute them to students to take home, so I need to get on that!

My Mary Kay business is doin pretty well. I'm tryin really hard, at least. I sold a few things this morning. I'm really tryin to get people to let me facial them, or to have a party. I need some income! At least I'm getting better at making the sale, though. I hope! Paul's being very supportive and helpful, which is nice. I have 2 friends that sell Premiere Jewlery and 31 (which has pocketbooks and walets and things like that), and we're all having a huge open house party in October. I'm so excited about that. We're planning on having it at my house, but if we keep growing we're gonna have to move to the church or something. Its gonna be big! And fun! At least, if I'm not makin a ton of money with this thing, I'm havin fun doin it! ( :

whew!

2009-09-04T21:22:00.002-04:00

Man, I've been busy this week! Good busy, though. First of all, let me say WELCOME HOME CRYSTAL!! She's finally back in the states and I know she feels good. ( :

Okay, I rode Wiley yesterday afternoon and he was a little snot head at first, but he redeemed himself. Actually, he was fine under saddle, he was a snot head while I was tackin him up. Dork. We worked on more of being softer in the mouth and the very beginning stages of learning to be round. Its gonna be a long, slow road, but I think he'll get there. He's a smart boy. We also worked on cantering for longer. He's got a cool canter, and yes I know I've said that before. It doesn't really feel like a pony canter cause its not choppy. Still a little unbalanced, especially in the corners or on a circle, but he gets better every time.

Poor Sunshine had a lesson last night with a little kid, and she was not happy until they started jumping. I set up an 18" x-rail and she jumped it like it was 2'! So funny. She perked right up after that. I think she's bored with all the flat work (and ring riding). Then she had a lesson this morning with Tammy, and she was really upset about it. She behaved, but you could tell she wasn't happy. She just needs more variety in riding. So I'm giving her tomorrow off, and Sunday we're goin on a trail ride - God-willing. Poor baby, she works so hard for me, and makes me enough money to support all 4 of the horses, I gotta be good to her. ( :

So the extra horses thing I blogged about yesterday is not gonna happen. Tammy and I talked today and she's SOOO excited. We called the woman selling the horses and made an offer. She called back this afternoon and accepted our offer and said to come get the horses ASAP. So Tammy and I talked some more. Mama said we could keep the horses at her house until Tammy gets her place fenced in. So tonight we went to Mama's so Tammy could see it and see how much work needed to be done first. Daddy's taken down some of the fencing, and filled the barn up with...well junk, I guess. Its amazing how quickly it can look like horses were never there! Anyway. It wouldn't take too much work to get the place back horse-ready. Tammy said we could do it.

Then I talked to Paul, who gave me a huge reality check. The main thing he reminded me of is the fact that if I get a job, I won't have all this extra time on my hands to train extra horses. When I work full-time, I can barely find time to ride all mine. Now, the way it looks right now I won't be getting a job any time soon, but you never know. And then he reminded me of how bad the horse market is righ tnow, which I know. But even if I get these horses in tip-top shape and they're perfect show horses or whatever, we still may not be able to sell them. And by the time you consider how much money Tammy will have in them and how much time I'll have invested, we won't really be making any money. Right? Its just my dream to train and resell horses. But maybe now's not the right time...

I have to break the news to Tammy tomorrow. I don't have the heart to call her tonight cause she's having her very first horse delivered tomorrow and she's really excited and nervous. But we have to tell the seller something soon. Should have already called her. And I feel really bad cuase if we don't get these horses, they're goin to an auction on Monday, and God only knows what kind of person will buy them. :(

one more thing

2009-09-03T11:15:00.002-04:00

I forgot to blog about this earlier. I can't believe I forgot!

I have an amazing opportunity with horses knocking on my door. I don't know if things are gonna work out, though. I said a few weeks ago that Tammy (my student) and I went to look at a horse on a 300acre farm in Southern Pines. Well, she decided not to get any from there. She fell in love with a Kentucky Mountain mare, Tilley, but the mare is very overweight and hasn't been ridden in a while, so she'd need some work. Tammy wanted a horse she could ride now. She also really like a couple of other horses there, but none of them are really rideabe right now. Tammy ended up finding a horse somewhere else and bought him last week, but she's been thinking about Tilley and the other horses at Wray Hill.

Then the lady called me the other day and said all the horses prices are going down because the owner wants to get rid of them like yesterday. She offered me 4 horses for $900! Nice horses, too. If I had another pasture or 2 established here, I'd love to have them. And I think Paul's on-board with the idea. Of course, I'd be training/retraining and reselling these horses. Well, I pretty much got the idea out of my head cause I just don't have the room right now.

Then I talked to Tammy today. If we can find somewhere to keep them for a while, Tammy wants to buy 2 or 3, have me work with them, then split the profit with me when we sell them next year. I think we can do it. One of the ones she's wanting is a very flashy black and white paint, and show people love flashy horses.

I just don't know what to do! This could be a big opportunity for me, or it could be a big bust. Either way, I wouldn't have any money invested in it, just my time. Any advice??

finally back to me

2009-09-03T10:19:00.003-04:00

Well, it took until Monday, but I finally shook off the steroids and their stupid side effects. Monday was the first morning I didn't wake up and think ugh. My lesson last Friday night got cancled, which was good cause I really felt like crap. But then we had to go eat supper for my cousin's bday, at Texas Steakhouse. And yesterday Mama told me how bad I looked that night. My face was very swollen from the steroids, my eyes were almost shut, and I just looked bad. She said the waiter asked her what was wrong with me. Great.

Saturday morning I got up and taught a lesson, and felt okay. Not great, but okay. Then I went with Mama, Uncle Ken, and Meredith to go see Blu (who is doing much better). I was okay for about 30 minutes, then it hit me like a freight train. I had to sit down, I started feeling nauseous, and like I was gonna pass out. So I just sat there until everone was ready to leave. Which was a WHILE. I thought we'd never leave. Then we stopped to get lunch and had to wait on that. I just felt worse and worse. When we got back to Mama's house, she made me go lay down in her bed, where I slept until 3pm. And still felt like crap! So I drove home and lounged on my couch the rest of the day, dozing off and on. I've not felt that bad in a long time.

Sunday I was some better, but not back to normal. We skipped Sunday school and just went to church. Then we went to Durham for the Bulls baseball game, and I was starting to feel more normal. And Monday I felt great! I've been fince since then. Thank goodness! And totally enjoying this awesome weather! 60s at night and in the morning, upper 70s during the day. Awesome!!

I rode Sunshine on Tuesday because I taught a lesson on her Monday night and she was horrible. She kept tryin to run away with Tammy! Of course, for me Tuesday she'd barely move. haha. We played dressage pair, which was such a struggle cause she hasn't done that in a while. But she was pretty good.

Yesterday I rode Wiley. He's such a character. But he was good. He finally understood the concept of giving to the bit yesterday! First time he's done it at the walk and trot. Though he doesn't quite understand at the trot...! I'm so proud of him.

Still haven't worked with Rambler again...I'm too chicken. Which is bad cause he knows I'm scared of him now. I gotta get over that. Now that I'm feeling like myself, I'm going to start back working with him, as soon as I get a chance when Paul is actually home. BUT I've found someone to break Rambler for me. The guys at BarT Ranch - the people who do the Extreme Mustang challenge thingy - contacted me about using Rambler for their Mustang Festival in October. These guys are natural horsemanship trainers and have started many many Mustangs. And they'll use Rambler in teh clinic so it'll be free for me! All I have to do is get his Coggins test and trailer him up to Pittsborough for athe weekend. I'm so excited! I may even bring Wiley (the whole weekend includes clinics, a trial ride, a few "show" classes, lots of stuff for mustang owners).

Friday

2009-08-28T12:44:00.003-04:00

Well, I didn't ride Sunshine the other day. I went out there and started brushing her when I realized that her left front pasturn was swollen pretty bad. She had a little puncture wound there so I guess that's the culprit. She wasn't lame, but it took until today to get back to normal. I cold-hosed her several times a day and gave her Bute. I think she's fine now. At least, I hope so, since I'm teachin a lesson on her tonight!

This morning I slept in. First time I've done that in a LONG time. I slept until 9:40! Crazy. But these steroids have been keepin me up at night, I haven't really slept in almost a week. So I was lazy today, and it felt nice. Of course, now I feel like crap, but that's not unusual. I'm fighting getting sick, as usual after a round of steroids. My head and throat hurts, and all the lymphnodes around my head and neck are tender and swollen. This sucks. Its always something with me!!

I did ride Wiley earlier. I put the western saddle on him and started out in the arena to make sure he was okay. Then we walked all around our property and down to the road. He was scared of the actual road, but I finally got him to walk on it. What a goober. Anyway, he was pretty good.

I gotta teach tonight and in the morning if it doesn't rain. And I'm hoping to start workin with Rambler again tomorrow while Paul's home. But if I don't start feelin better that's not gonna happen. I'm so tired of feelin bad all the time!

new week

2009-08-25T21:36:00.002-04:00

Sunday, Paul and I attempted to go on a trail ride, but it didn't really happen. I can't ride during the day because of the sun, so we waited until afternoon. We got on, walked around the corn field and down the driveway, and a storm come up. So we stopped. But it was fun for those few minutes! Hopefully he'll have time to ride again with me soon. ( :

Yestreday, I was very productive with the horses. I got up and rode Sunshine first. THe weather was perfect for riding; overcast and warm but not hot, just a little humid but not bad. THe sun didn't come out until after lunch, which I really enjoyed. Sunshine was AWESOME. Got some great cantering out of her, nice and easy, almost collected. And we worked on picking up the canter quickly, with more on simple changes of direction to lead into a flying change. She was really great. So today I didn't ride her, but that was mainly because I was so sore from yesterday's rides that I needed a break! Plus she has a lesson tomorrow night.

I rode Wiley after that, and he started out bad but ended up fine. Sometimes he's very quick and excited at the beginning of a ride. So I did what I did last time he was like that: made him trot faster and faster until he WANTED to go slow! After a few minutes he was totally fine. We just worked on trotting, and I set up some trot poles on cinder blocks for him to step over, which he proceeded to knock down every single time. Clumbsy horse! And I rode him around the yard again, getting better and better about that.

Then I just hopped on Junior bareback for a few minutes. Met the mail lady with a package, that was neat. He seems to enjoy just getting out for a few minutes like that. ( :

This morning I just rode Wiley. My back was sore from yesterday and I haven't been feeling well anyway with these steroids, so I didn't want to push it. Wiley was good today again. We did LOTS of trotting over poles and lots of cantering. His canter is really slowing down and getting better and better. I love it. He's a great little pony!

Still haven't worked with Rambler again yet. I gotta work up my nerve again. I thought I might yesterday, then chickened out. I'll get there. I'm still bruised and sore from Friday!

Tomorrow, I'm thinking about hopping on Sunshine in the a.m. for a nice trail ride down the road. I can't decide. We'll see.

And Thursday I'm goin to the coast to look at another horse for my student. That should be fun. ( :

sometimes its good, sometimes its awful

2009-08-21T11:36:00.003-04:00

What a day. I'm finally starting to recover. I started out with a nice slow, bareback trail ride on Sunshine, something she needed. She seemed to enjoy it. We trotted a little, but I didn't ask much of her, just let her get out and enjoy the scenery. It was nice.

Then I rode Wiley, who was awesome again. I seriously love that colt. I've never bonded with a horse this deeply before, not even my Magic. Its awesome. I started Wiley out in the arena, just to make sure he wasn't gonna be in one of his moods. He wasn't. So we trotted around, then I took him out, trotted around the outside of the arena (which up until recently woudln't have happened!), then trotted down the driveway, something else we've never done. We even trotted back up to the barn at a nice slow pace, on a loose rain - yes! Then trotted around the corn field, all the way around next to the beans. I've never done it all the way around with him cause he just doesn't like to walk in a straight line and I didn't want to run over the beans, but today he was perfect. Then I took him back in the arena for a little light work. I asked for the canter from the walk, and he did it! He took 3 or 4 trot steps, but I was impressed. Nice slow, balanced canter, too. The other direction, I made the mistake of asking him in front of the (open) gate, and he wasn't so great, but he did it and it was still a nice canter. So we ended the ride by walking back down to the road and back. Lovely, lovey, fun ride. ( :

I was gonna hop on Junior next, but I decided to work with Rambler first. Got him out, brushed him and all, no problem. Then I put Wiley's bridle on him, let him get used to the bit. He did great. Chewed, of course, but no fuss. I took it off, then took him to the arena to work on lunging and saddling again. He lunged fine, I just did a few laps each direction. Then showed him the saddle pad. He wasn't too happy, but he let me put it on his back. Several times. Then I picked up the saddle, and he got a little more upset, but he didn't seem ready to bolt or anything. He was nervous, but he was listening to me, and I had everything up there and was just gonna let him stand there a minute before I cinched him up. I didn't even move, and suddenly, he was knocking me down and runing on top of me.

Scared the crap out of me. I could see his feet over my head, but I couldn't really move. It was surreal. Thankfully, he didn't step on my head. But he stepped on my right arm - the one that always gives me trouble - I can't deicde if he stepped on my left arm, too, or it it just hit the ground hard, but its okay, and he stepped on the back of my left thigh. Tore my riding pants all up, got a couple of hoof prints back there, but it doesn't hurt for some reason. As soon as the saddle fell off him, he was fine, put his head down to eat the grass. I was shaken and wasn't sure if anything was broken, so I had to sit down for a while. Then I realized that I coudln't really move my right arm. And I was so scared and mad at him that I coudln't bear trying again. I know its the wrong thing to do, but maybe not since I was alone. I put him up and came in the house to nurse my body.

Now my arm is killing me, I can barely move it, my neck hurts, and my pride is just busted. I feel like such a failure. I never had this much trouble with Wiley! And look how great he's doing now. I guess Rambler's just had too many years to do things his own way. Now I have to talk to Paul about getting someone else to break Rambler, and that is gonna be so hard. Becuase I know what Paul's gonna say and think, and its a blow to my ego to admit that I can't do it. But I am not gonna get hurt over this horse that I don't even really like. Its not worth it to me. I've never had a horse i couldn't work with. This sucks. :(

Thursday's ride

2009-08-21T07:38:00.002-04:00

Yesterday morning I rode Wiley. He. was. awesome! Very calm, slow even, very attentive. I did have to use a crop to get him to canter, but all I had to do was show it to him. I never have to actually use it on him, he just needs to see its there. After working in the arena, we trotted down to the road. Never done that one before; we always just walk down the driveway. I think today I'm gonna work on some more non-arena trotting and maybe cantering. We'll see!

I didn't ride anyone else yesterday because by the afternoon I felt like crap. Too many drugs in my system, I guess. But I did have a mini spa/beauty session with Sunshine and Junior. They got their bridle paths clipped and their manes trimmed up - and they look much better now. Today, my mustang babies will have their hair done, too. ( :

Thursday morning update

2009-08-20T07:14:00.002-04:00

Well, this week has been crazy so far! Of course, I ended up having a horrible reaction to my sunburn from Saturday. Benadryl wasn't cutting it, and my Monday afternoon I was in rough shape. I called Paul to come home from work and take me to the doctor. By the time the doctor saw me, she just walked in the room and said "oh my." I was a nervous wreck. Nonstop itching on my back, all my nerves were on end, it was awful. She gave me a xanex, a double shot of steroids, and a prescription for oral steroids (not Prednisone this time, so maybe I won't swell up).

Monday night when the xanex kicked in I started calming down. Slept for an hour, then woke up at midnight with horrible itching. I took 2 benadryl (didn't have my prescriptions filled yet) and was able to sleep for about 2 1/2 hours before it woke me up again. So basically I was on the cough or pacing the house all night crying my eyes out because I was so stressed. I'm telling you, NOTHING is worse than uncontrollable itching for me. I took 2 more benadryl around 3 or 4 am, or maybe it was later than that, I can't remember. Paul woke up a little before 6 and I was lying on the couch, crying. He put cold compresses on my back and called the doctor. She said find some xanex and take 2. So I called Mama and woke her up. She brought me the xanex and took me to her house so Paul could go to work.

I had my appointment with the sleep doctor that morning, so Mama took me there and to get my medicines filled. I was so doped up! The sleep doctor said I don't have narcolepsy, which is good. But I do have idiopathic hypersomnia. Basically the opposite of insomnia. Just excessive daytime sleepiness. So she gave me a trail of a drug to keep me awake during the day, but I can't start it until I'm done with all these steriods and xanex.

I'm getting better, but I still have to keep a xanex in me to keep from goin crazy from the itching. Yesterday, Tammy and I went to a farm in Carthage (lots of pics up on my share site) and I took a xanex on the way, and I had to take one before bed last night. I'm driving Grandma to the doctor in a little while, so I'm gonna try not to take one this morning. But we'll see. I don't wanna be crazy! Anyway, I'm about to go out and ride Wiley real quick, so I'll update on that later.

----------

Last night I worked Rambler. Lunging again. And he was GREAT. First time he's really got it with no fuss. I was so proud of him. I saw that light bulb go off in his head it was nice. FINALLY! We're makin progress! ( :

Friday's rides

2009-08-16T14:46:00.002-04:00

Friday I was very productive. I got up with the intention of working all 4 horses, and I almost succeeded. I got everyone rode, but it started raining before I would work with Rambler.

Sunshine gave me a great ride. We worked on cantering, and she's getting smoother and more balanced there. We even worked on simple changes of lead, and I'm going to work her up to flying lead changes. I taught Junior how to do it years ago (not that I'll ever be doing that on him again, but anyway), but it's never occurred to me to teach Sunshine. Ha. Not that she really needs to know, but I think it'll be cool to do. Maybe I can work her up to some fancy tempis! haha

Okay, Wiley was next. He was in a mood. I didn't really mind, though, cause he's been so good lately under saddle. He was aggitated at something, and wanted to whip around the arena. At first I tried to slow him down with circles, but we were just flying around in tiny circles, so I decided to make him go fast. We trotted and trotted and trotted, very fast, until he finally decided to slow down on him own. Now that was a workout! Then we had to work on bending and staying balanced, especially through the corners. He loves to whip around the corners, and counterbend. But he got better. He's smart, he's just lazy. Then we worked on cantering, and steering at the canter. He's not crazy about me making him do anything at the canter other than staying on the rail, but he's getting better. Finally, we took a nice long walk around the property to cool down.

Then I hopped on Junior bareback. I worked on his wonderful slow jog. I have no trouble getting it from him, but everyone else does. So I'm trying to figure out what exactly I do so I can tell other people. He seemed to enjoy his little workout, though he didn't even break a sweat. ( :

___________________

Paul and I went to the beach Friday night, so I didn't ride yesterday. He was supposed to go floundering Friday night with Daddy, but the little boat broke. Thankfully, the big boat was fine, and we were able to go out on it yesterday with Daddy's brother and his wife and kid, and Mama. We had the best time. Until the end, that is. When we were leaving, the people next to us on the island asked us to help get their boat unstuck. They hadn't bothered to move it when the tide went out, and it was on the sand. We tied a rope to the 2 boats and tried to pull them out, but it wasn't working. Then the rope snapped and came flying towards out boat, and caught Gisselle, my aunt, in the face. It was bad. Instant swelling. And the morons who's boat was stuck actually complained about us not geting them unstuck! Paul and I had to leave last night, but everyone else went with Gisselle to the hospital in Wilmington. The doctors couldn't tell if anything was broken because her face was so swollen, but her eye was bloodshot. I feel so bad for her. Hopefully, she's just really swollen and bruised and not broken.

I have a bad sunburn, of course. I slathered on SPF 50 yesterday morning, and reapplied with 70 all day, but I still got fried. Its like I'm allergic to sunscreen or something. So I'm taking Benadryl round the clock to ward off a reaction like last time...ugh.

Thursday's update

2009-08-14T07:38:00.002-04:00

So yesterday it was rainy and I had a bunch of errands to run in the morning, so I didn't ride. But yesterday afternoon I worked with Rambler.

He stood really well at the hitching post, and was good about letting me pick up all 4 feet. Which is a good thing cause he really needs a trim. I'm thinking he'll be ready for the farrier by his next visit. Then I took him to the arena to work on lunging. I want him to be able to lunge well. You never know when you'll need to lunge, but I don't intend on doing it a lot.

We started out lunging on just the lead rope, which is 10 feet I think. He did really well with that, so I switched to the lunge line. He did great for a few minutes, then he wanted to just stop at a certain point on the circle. We worked and worked and finally I was able to keep him going past that point. Then we switched directions.

And it was like he forgot everything. So frustrating. He would start going around me, then he'd stop and turn to face me and when I tried to send him back out, he'd go the other direction, or back up. He knows better than that, he was just being stubborn. It took a few minutes, but I finally got him going well in that direction, too.

I'm sure we'll have to go through the whole process again today. He seems like the type that needs a LOT of repetition to "get" things. (Wiley is the exact opposite; I showed him something once and he usually picked it up right away. Though I'm sure I could go back on this blog and find examples of me having to do things over and over with him, too! Its just so frustrating.) It doesn't help that Rambler's already over 4 years old, pretty set in his ways. He's just so different than all my other horses. Anyway, I'm going to work with him again today.

Oh, yes. After the lunginng session yesterday I hosed him off. He wasn't happy about it but he was pretty good.

August 12

2009-08-12T17:09:00.003-04:00

Ugh, I have really tried to keep this updated. I wanted a detailed log of each ride on the horses. Oh well.

Let's see..last Thursday, I rode Wiley in the morning but I really don't remember the ride. I remember he was good. I think maybe that was the day I started working in smaller canter circles with him. And Sunshine had a lesson that night which went well.

Friday was a BAD day. I intended to get up early and ride Wiley, but that never happened. I had to feed a friend's horses, so after feeding my own, I drove to her house. I got there (~4 miles) and realied I'd left her key at home, so I turned around. My air conditioning went out and my car started running hot. I called Paul and Daddy and they said it would be fine to get home. (Daddy came by later and the water was out; he put water and antifreeze in it and then it was fine.) Well, I was feeding like I've done several times before, and one of the horses turned around and kicked me in the thigh. Instant swelling and pain, humongous bruise. After a few minutes, I could barely walk.

So the rest of the day I kept ice packs on my leg, and it hurt like the dickens. Riding was obviously out since walking was so painful. Stupid horse. It wasn't my fault this time, either; he just turned around and WHAM! Ugh.

Fast forward to today. First chance I've had to ride. I taught a lesson on Sunshine at 8, then invited Tammy to ride Junior while I rode Wiley. Wiley was really good today, though he didn't want to bend. Well, he did, but he wanted to counterbend. So we worked on that, and cantering some more. And Junior was good for Tammy, but he's so LAZY! I taught her husband how to trot on Junior last Saturday, and he was good (and seemingly pain-free, yay!) but lazy lazy lazy!

Today, I went to the vet's office and looked at Junior's x-rays of his hock. Man! His joint looked horrible. I totally see why he's been in so much pain now.

Meredith's horse, Blu, is foundering. Last week, the vet came out and found an abcess in his foot. It still hasn't came out yet, but today he was super lame on both front feet. She ended up blocking them both and taking x-rays. One was fine but one showed a few degrees of rotation. Meredith's gotta spend all kinds of money on him now. And poor thing, he didn't even want to come out of his stall, he hurt so bad. :(

Then Paul called with bad news. Last night, we took my car to the mechanic's. A check-engine type light came on and it was kinda shaky and was worrying me. Oh, and my tire was flat. AGAIN. (Why do I have such bad luck with freakin tires??!) Anyway, the guy called Paul today and said I NEED A NEW MOTOR. Are you serious?? How on earth can I afford a new motor right now? I DON'T HAVE A JOB!!! This sucks. Seriously, how much more can I take???

August 5

2009-08-05T18:27:00.002-04:00

Well, the last time I rode before today was Friday. I rode both Sunshine and Wiley, but I can't for the life of me remember what we worked on! Friday was so long ago...and my days are getting mixed up. I have a hard time remembering what day it is. I guess cause I'm not constantly writing the date and worrying about it. Anyway, they must have been good, cause I'm sure I would have remembered something bad! haha

Sunshine had 2 back-to-back lessons on Saturday. Don't feel too sorry for her, though; the first one was a complete beginer and we worked on ground stuff almost the whole time. I think we talked about brushing her for 30 minutes! Its the husband of my student Tammy. He wants to learn everything he can about horses since they're wanting to get one. I'm so happy they're doin this the right way!

And since Saturday its been crazy hot, raining, or I just haven't had time to ride. This morning I didn't really have much time, but I wanted to hop on Sunshine for a few minutes at least. I got the nicest left-lead canter out of her that I've felt in a while. Of course, the right lead was pretty bad, but that's okay. I went with Meredith after that to meet the vet for her horse, who has an abcess. I was planning on riding Wiley when I got back but it was way to hot.

Wednesday

2009-07-29T14:02:00.003-04:00

Today, I taught a lesson on Sunshine, so she had kind of an easy day. Just trotting, and not too much of that. After that, I asked my student, Tammy, to stay and ride Junior while I rode Wiley. I knew she'd get a kick out of it.

This was the first time I've worked Wiley with another horse in the arena. Of course, he wanted to stop every time we passed Junior. I had to get out the crop and wave it at him to remind him to listen to me. But he did pretty good. Not his best behavior, but not bad. When I asked for the canter, he was reluctant, so I popped him on his butt. He gave a little buck and then cantered. It wasn't a hard buck at all, I didn't even loose my balance, and I just laughed and kept goin. First time he's ever bucked with me. Then we walked around the corn field and back. Wiley was great.

Junior was good for Tammy. She did a lot of walking and a tiny bit of trotting. He seemed to be okay. He's a good boy.

Then I worked with Rambler. I was able to pick out all 4 feet today - first time! Then we had a quick lunging reminder before I got th saddle out. He wasn't nearly as scared of the saddle today, though he still wasn't thrilled about it. I saddled him up and walked him around, then lunged him a bit. I think the stirrups banging around bother him, but he'll get used to it. Then I made motions like I was gonna get on him. I held on to the saddle and jumped up and down beside him. He freaked, so I moved away and kept jumping. He was so funny; he followed my jumping with his head, bobbing up and down. I finaly got where I could jump right next to him while putting pressure on the saddle and he was okay. Then I took the saddle off and did it again, this time jumping into him a little. He was pretty good. That's what I did when I started gettin on Wiley, just jumping around him, then kinda jumping into him. And eventually I was up there and he was okay. Hopefully Rambler will be like that. But I've already learned so many ways that Rambler is totally different than Wiley!

Monday-Tuesday

2009-07-28T19:00:00.002-04:00

So I've decided to treat this week like a vacation. Well, a vacation where I'm frantically looking for jobs, but still. Yesterday I got up at 6am to feed the horses so they'd be ready to work by 7:30-8. (Today I was a little lazier; I didn't get up until 6:30.) Yesterday, I started out with Wiley, who was awesome. I'm working on building his stamina at the canter. Right now he can go two laps before he runs out of steam. But he tries. I took him around the corn field again afterwards and he wasn't thrilled at being alone but he gets better every time. Riding Sunshine after Wiley is a huge change and its easier on my legs if I do Sunshine first (she requires more leg and she's a lot wider than him, its just different, and a little harder physically), so today I rode Wiley 2nd. Both of us were pretty tired so I took it easy. Just a little trotting in the arena, then a mini trail ride. We trotted a little around the corn field - first time! - and I made him go further than he's been before. Then we walked to the road and back. I can't remember if we've done that before or not, but he was scared of my lesson sign. Silly pony.

Yesterday, I worked on jumping with Sunshine. I was right about the ground pole; she got her spot every time with it there. I just had 2' verticals set up - 2 of them -and worked on having kind of a short distance from the fence to the jump. She struggled, but we managed to do it. She was trying hard. Today we didn't do any jumping, but I worked on her canter. Her stamina at the canter sucks, too. When she gets tired, she does this awful gait-like thing (I guess its the standardbred comin out in her!) and she eventually completely breaks down if you don't leg her back into a true canter. Hard work. Which is why I need to do that while my legs are still fresh! Even after just these 2 days of constant riding, though, my leg muscles are coming back. And I'm not sore, which is a blessing!

I also rode Junior yesterday and today. Yesterday, I did some light jogging - bareback - in the arena, then walked to the road and back. I wasn't going to ride him today because I think one of my students is going to rail ride him with me tomorrow, but I decided to hop on him bareback and ride to the back of the cornfield. Paul planted sunflowers there earlier this summer, and they're up and blooming. Its really cool back there. We rode down there and I took pictures. I'll post later if I remember. Junior seems to be fine but I'm scared to push him too much, since he did get sore that one day. He seems happier now, though. I think he likes being ridden every once in a while.

I also worked with Rambler both days. Yesterday, I got the saddle on him - much quicker this time but he still was not thrilled with it - and tried to work him on th elunge. He was not understanding me at all. And I think the saddle was making his brain worse, lol. He would take a few steps, then stop and look at me. I finally gave up and just worked on getting him used to the saddle. Today, I taught him how to lunge on the line. The only way I've ever done that with him before now was free lunging, so I guess to him this was way different. He picked it up fairly quickly. It was getting really hot - and close to lunch time! - so I decided to stop there. I planned on working with him again tonight, this time with the saddle, but you know things never work out like I want them to. Oh well, tomorrow it can be done.

not horse-related

2009-07-26T18:05:00.003-04:00

So Friday I got laid off from the lab. I can't even begin to describe how badly that sucks. I got the call to go to HR around 3pm. I knew instantly; you don't get called to HR unles you're in serious trouble (and I hadn't done anything) or you're being fired or laid off. They said they were eliminating my position because of the economy (the company has been doing very badly, we all knew that). And they said it was me based on seniority. It made sense at first. They fired Emily, the part-time girl, on Thursday.

I remembered later that I was NOT the last one they hired. Another girl got hired last year, and she doesn't work in the lab but she's paid from the lab's budget, so technically she's a lab employee. So really SHE should have been the one to go. If they were really basing it on seniority. If they wanted to let someone go based on performance, I would have been the last choice. I know that, and if they don't know that they will soon.

It's starting to sink in today, that I'm unemployed. I'm sure tomorrow will be hard. I wasn't supposed to go in this weekend anyway, so nothing has been different feeling. But I'm depressed more today than I was yesterday. Friday, I cried for a while - but not long, kudos to me - then got really pissed off, then a little depressed. Paul was good to me, supportive. Then he started to tease me about it, which was the best thing for me at the time. So I made a joke about it the rest of the night and all of yesterday. And when I wasn't around people yesterday I kept myself busy so I couldn't think too much.

Its nice to know that I have so many people that love and care about me. My phone rang off the hook Friday night, until it went dead. And my facebook friends have all sent words of encouragement. But after a while you get really sick of hearing how sorry everyone is, and how everything's gonna be okay, you know? I know they all mean well, but I can't take but so much...

And so many people are trying to help me find a new job. That's nice. But today I've just been thinking all the bad thoughts, what if I don't get any of these jobs I'm applying for, what if we can't pay our bills, what if... I know I shouldn't. God's in control, He has a plan for me. I know that. But my stupid human brain likes to worry. And I'm even more worried because Paul's boss is in the hospital right now, who knows what's wrong with him. Paul says that if his boss - the owner of his company - retires (or God forbid, dies), the company will close down. And then he'll be out of a job, too. But I try not to think about that...

Tomorrow I'm going to apply to more jobs, call around and ask if places are hiring, and try to sell some Mary Kay. I have a plan, at least for a few days, and that'll keep me sane.

July 22

2009-07-22T21:30:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I learned a VERY important lesson. I canNOT push Rambler! He's been doin so well with everything, takin it all in stride, so I decided that its time to start his real work. He needs to build some muscle so I can prepare to ride him. So, I wanted to get him used to the saddle first.

I took him out, tied him to the hitchin post, brushed him, picked all 4 feet - he was fussy about it, but I did it - then got the saddle out. At that moment, Junior spooked at somethin and ran off, which scared Rambler, and he tried to run off too. Thankfully, I had just untied him so he didn't break anything. I got him calmed down, showed him the blanket and saddle, and put them on him. No problem. I fastened the girth and he didn't even flinch. I pulled on the saddle a bit and moved it around, no reaction. So I said, well he's doin so good I'll walk him around a bit. Bad idea.

I'm not sure what spooked him, but I'm almost positive it wasn't the saddle. We'd been walking calmly for several minutes, when suddenly Rambler just took off. I got rope burn on my fingers - 2nd time from this colt! - but of course I couldn't hold him. He ran all around the yard, buckin and terrified. Paul acted quick and moved his truck to block the driveway. Which made Rambler run through the fence at the cow pasture - it was the weak part though, with the handles for the entrance. He ran down to the end of the pasture and back - thankfully he didn't go through that part of the fence, or he'd been on the road! - several times before he finally stopped and Paul got him (I was holding the broken fence up as a barrier). Poor thing could barely breathe and was shaking. It took FOREVER to cool him out and get his breathing back to normal.

Then he got another experience with the water hose. I couldn't leave him all sweaty, even though I know his aversion to bein sprayed. I had to work with him, but eventually I was able to hose off 1/2 his body. So I learned that Rambler neesd a LOT more round pen work for sure!!

So today, after the storms went though I took the saddle and all out to the round pen and put it up on the rail. That of course freaked everybody out, especially Rambler. I brushed him for a while, tryin to calm him down. Just havin the saddle nearby was upsetting to him, but it was probably more cuase of where I had it. It took a while, but finally I had the blanket and saddle on him. I took it off and put it back up on the rail, and let him think about things for a few minutes. Then I put it back on him, fastened the girth, and walked him around the pen. He wasn't happy but he didn't freak out, which was my goal. I ended on that good note. I just wanted him to have a GOOD experience with the saddle. Friday, if he's okay he's gonna lunge with the saddle on. Fun stuff.

July 19

2009-07-19T09:34:00.002-04:00

I've had a successful week with the horses! I've accomplished a lot with each of them, and I feel good. ( :

Wednesday, we had a scare. Paul had to come home at lunch to get ready for a funeral, and he called me and said Rambler was sick. He just acted funny, and he didn't want to stand up. Of course I rushed home, didn't hear much gut sounds, so I walked him for a while and he seemed better. I kept an eye on him the rest of the day, and he was fine. I think he had some gas bubbles makin him uncomfortable. Thank goodness it wasn't more serious than that.

That day, I rode Junior a little while, and Wiley as well. Wiley was awesome! I rode him at the canter without the crop! I was so proud of him. Have I mentioned his canter is great?? Then I walked him around the yard and around the corn field a ways, no problems. I rode him again yesterday (the picture Paul took is up on facebook!) and at first he was very flighty, very fast and kinda wild actin. But he soon calmed down and minded his manners. Cantered around again. He picks up the canter pretty quick, but I'm gonna work on pickin it up immediately. And he's good about leads, but I think its just coincidence. But that's okay. I'm just happy to be cantering him!

Junior always starts off kinda stif in his right hind, but after a few minutes he's fine. Yesterday I jogged him for longer than I've been goin and I could tell it was startin to bother him. Its barely perceptible and if you do'nt know Junior you probably wouldn't catch it, but I'm waitin for any sign of lameness so I caught it. I walked him out and put him up, and he was fine. He's really sound at the walk, as long as you don't turn in him tight circles. I'm not sure he'll ever get to the point wher I can use him for W/T lessons, but it looks like he'll at least be able to go on walk only trail rides. And that's okay.

I taught a lesson on Sunshine Thursday night, and she showed her tale! I don't know what her problem was, she was just in a pissy mood. Maybe she's tired of inexperienced people ridin her, I don't know. But I don't teach that much anymore. With the heat and all, not many people want to tough it out right now. I rode her yesterday, jumped her around. She did better cantering than she's been doin - like I said, I think she just needs to do it more - but she still wasn't jumpin like her old self. It didn't hit me until last night that I should have put a ground pole farther out in front of the jump for her. That would have solved the problem, I'm sure. So I'll do that next time. I was gonna ride her again today to test that out, but I have felt like crap..

On to Rambler. I worked with him yesterday. I tied him to the hitchin post and brushed him. I don't think he realized for a while that he was tied, but he never acted stupid. I was able to pick up all four feet and hold them for a few seconds! First time! Then I decided to work with him in the trailer. Well, that was easy. I gave him an apple treat - that horse lives for apple treats! - and he followed me right in there! Very easy goin about it, too. So that was all we did. This week, if it doesn't rain he'll get the saddle again, and I'll probably start workin him with the saddle on his back. If I can figure out which bridle to use on him I'll start on that, too. He's a very sweet colt, very smart. I haven't fallen for him yet, but I at least like him now. ( :

weekend update

2009-07-13T18:00:00.002-04:00

Whoops, I forgot about this thing again!

Okay, last Thursday I rode Sunshine, gave her a good workout. We worked on cantering a lot. I guess because she hasn't had to do too much cantering (since none of my students are to that point yet) she's lost some essential muscles or something. Her canter is awful! On the verge of being a 4 beat, it reminds me of a gaited horse. She could be cross-cantering, but I'd have to see it to be sure (I don't have much experience with knowing what that feels like). If she is cross-cantering, I have no idea how to fix it. I'm just hoping that with more work, she'll get better. She used to have an awesome canter. I miss that!

I can't remember if I worked wth Rambler or not on Thursday...oh wait, I did. I let all 4 horses eat grass in the yard - good bermudagrass. I held on to Rambler's lead rope just in case, but he barely moved in the whole hour.

Friday morning, when I was feeding them breakfast, Rambler literally ran over me. He came from behind me and I heard him and got clsoe to the round pen so he could get by, but he ran over me anyway! Somehow, I didn't get hurt, but feed buckets went flying. All of his and most of Sunshine's food spilled (the others were already fed). I fed Sunshine and told Rambler no breakfast for him since he ruined it. I. was. so. mad! But since then he hasn't gotten near me at feeding time until its his turn. Hopefully he's learned his lesson (although him and Junior are now BFFs and Rambler hangs out by Junior's feed barrel while waiting for his turn, and Junior won't keep him away, so that may pose a problem...). Anyway, I didn't do anything with him that evening cause I was exhausted.

Saturday, I taught a lesson on Sunshine and she was really good. The girl jumped on her - it was an 18inch crossrail but Sunshine actually jumped when the girl gave her some leg! And she took off cantering at one point and the girl handled it well, so I've decided when she comes back this week she's gonna canter on purpose.

Then I rode Junior again, another 15 minutes or so. This time I jogged him for a few seconds, real slow. He didn't act like it bothered him, though he was stiff at first again. He still acts fine...

Then I rode Wiley. First time in several weeks. I was prepared for anything but he was actually really really good. I even took him around the house and a little ways around the corn field with no major meltdowns. Progress!

Finally, I worked with Rambler. I had him at the hitchin post but not tied to it - we havne't tried tying yet! - and I showed him the saddle and blanket. I put them both on his back with no reaction at all. I didn't press my luck with the girth, but I probably could have. Then I worked on spraying him with the water hose. He's never had that done and he did NOT like it! Once he understood it was just water, he kept stickin his nose into the spray, wantin to play. But he wasn't happy about me sprayin his body. I successfully made it to his stomach area before I decided to call it a day. I want to get him totally fine with the water hose, then I want to get him used to the fly spray bottle. And start workin him with the saddle on. This is fun, but he's such a little pill! I hope I grow to love him like I did Wiley, that makes this whole training thing so much easier for me.

July 8

2009-07-08T20:56:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I worked with Rambler a little. I walked him around in the pasture, working on "woah" and staying out of my space. He has good breaks right now. He gave me a little fuss about picking up his front feet, but we quickly got over that. And no progress on the back feet. I tried standing him next to the fence, in the corner of the barn, nothing worked. He just walks in a circle, or forward, or even backward. I told Paul I'm gonna need him to help. Maybe if Paul holds him while I ask for the foot...I don't know. Won't hurt to try.

Then I put him out in the arena with the others. That was his first time in there, but he did great. Didn't test the fence or anything, just started grazing. *whew!*

I didn't work with Rambler today. I thought we could both use a little break from each other. Not that he's working hard, but still.

I rode Junior today! I takced him up (western) and rode - at a walk only - for about 15 minutes. I was very tempted to jog a little, but I restrained myself. He seemed fine, though he was kind of stiff at first. And I turned him in circles both directions, testing his hock. To the right, no problem, but to the left, I could tell it was bothering him a little. Not much, but I could tell. I guess cause to the left, he pushes off with that right hind? I don't know. But I'm thinking that may have just been where he hasn't done anything with weight on his back in so long... so we'll see. I'm just happy to have sat on him again. ( :

July 6 - big step!

2009-07-07T11:02:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I put Sunshine, Wiley, and Junior in the arena to eat grass so I could work with Rambler in peace. Thankfully, he wasn't too upset that they all left him, though THEY were pretty upset about it...silly horses!

I walked him around the pasture, working on stopping and backing out of my space. Worked on picking up his feet some, too. He's getting there with the back ones, its just slow going...

Then Paul came home so I decided to be brave. I took Rambler out of the pasture and into the open yard. He was a perfect gentleman. He looked at a few things, but wasn't bad at all. I even let him graze on the lead a little. Then Paul held him while I doctored up all his cuts, and he walked Rambler around and fed him treats and then put him back in the pasture. I was proud of how well-behaved Rambler was. ( :

I'm thinkin this weekend I'll start introducing him to a blanket and saddle....he's old enough so there's no need to wait too long. ( :

July 4 update

2009-07-05T18:31:00.003-04:00

Well, I was gonna post pictures of me ridin the barrel horse, but then I remembered that I put them up on my shutterfly site and facebook, so I think that's good enough!

Yesterday, Meredith brought her horse Blu over for a trail ride. I rode Sunshine barback, and of course she did great. We rode about 2 hours, until we were ready for lunch. So much fun to finally go on a trail ride with another person! It gets broing by myself. I'm hoping soon I'll have a full-time riding buddy...Paul said as soon as I got Junior goin again, he wanted to start riding. Yippee!!

I worked with Rambler a little yesterday. He's no trouble to catch as long as the other horses don't scare him off. They are SO mean to him. Yesterday morning I put a fly mask on him, and he flinched a little but was pretty good, considering he's never worn one before. I think he was grateful! I took it off to work him, and when I put it back on, he was still cool with it. This mornin, he wasn't so happy about it, but still not bad at all. Yesterday I successfully picked up one of his hind feet for a few seconds. Usually he walks around me when I ask for a hind foot. But he's getting it.. He joined up in like 3 minutes, too. He seems to really respect me now, and even like me. He's very sweet. I just have to be careful about the others. I haven't done anything with him today cause its been rainin on and off and we've been lazy. Slept most of the afternoon! Not that I feel guilty; we have so few lazy days.

I didn't get a chance to work with Junior at all this weekend, but that's okay. I really think the next time I get him out I'll put a saddle on him and walk. Once I get him back into shape, and if Paul's really serious about riding with me, I'll have to get him a new saddle. My english one doesn't fit him well, and I'm not sure the western one does either, but its a lot better and I use a much thicker pad with it.

July 3

2009-07-03T22:45:00.002-04:00

More Rambler updates. I worked with him yesterday and he did really well. I took him out of the round pen for a walk around the pasture, and at first he was fine. A little nervous, but fine. Then something really spooked him and he took off. Dragged the rope right out of my hands, gave me rope burns. Hurt like hell. Now I see why cowboys recommend wearing gloves when workin with youngsters! But Rambler was easy to catch, and good as gold - almost - after that. And he was better about me pickin up his back feet.

I worked him again this morning, briefly. I joined up with him, then praticed leading again, and stopping. He's got pretty good brakes, not wonderful but good. Better than he had. He backs well. So I decided to turn him out with the others. He's miserable in that pen all the time, and I felt bad for him. I took pics, which I'll post sometime this weekend. They ran and ran for a while, then settled down. Rambler ran into the fence once but when it shocked him he got right off. Sunshine hates him. Her and Junior have paired up, leaving Wiley and Rambler together. Only Rambler's not too sure he likes Wiley yet. Wiley will graze peacefully beside him, then suddenly run to him and attack. Its so funny to watch, but poor Rambler. And Sunshine doesn't like him gettin to close to her or Junior. And I couldn't take her fly mask off her tonight cause she kept runnin from me. Silly mare. I hope she calms down tomorrow, I'm supposed to go on a trail ride with my cousin.

This afternoon I went with my cousin to her boyfriend's house to barrel race. He competes, and she's getting into it a little, and she's been workin with her colt on it. I have never ridden a barrel racer before. I was nervous. They put me on a 25 year old who acted 4. He didn't do anything bad, but boy was he ready to GO! I held him back the whole time case I was scared. Next time I'm lettin him out! That was the most exhilerating thing I've done in forever. I was laughing and whoopin and hollerin the whole time. I'll post pics later, but they're funny to me. Everyone else who barrel races hunches all down in the saddle. Me, I look like I could be in an equitation class goin around the barrel. Its ingrained in me to sit up straight in a saddle, I can't sit any other way. So funny to see! ( :

July 1

2009-07-01T21:26:00.002-04:00

Well, Rambler is certainly interesting. Sunday, I brushed him a while and worked on the knots in his mane, then I had to trim up his mane and cut him a bridle path. He didn't mind any of that at all. He's cool with pickin up his front feet, but doesn't understand when I ask for the back ones. He walks in circles around me. We're working on that. I got him going in the round pen, wanted to Join Up with him like I did Wiley in the beginning, Monty Roberts-style. It took him a while. BUT he did it! Wiley has always been very submissive, at the bottom of the totem pole, and he was very happy to let me be in charge of him.

Rambler is used to being near the top of that pole, and he challenges me a lot. He's not mean at all, I can just tell he's having trouble giving up his position.

Monday, he joined up in about 15 minutes, still a lot longer than Wiley ever did, but I know every horse is different, and I was patient (yay for me!). He was really good on the lead rope after that, very responsive.

Yesterday, he joined up in less than 10 minutes! He was really good with leading around the round pen, so I decided to push it a little and walk him just a few steps out of the round pen. The other horses were in the other pasture, so I wasn't worried about them. At first, Rambler was fine, then he realized he wasn't confined anymore. He didn't do anything really bad, I could just feel the energy building up in him, and I got a little worried. After all, I haven't quite got him compeltely controlled yet - I don't know how his brakes are in a pinch. So I turned him back around to the gate, and he did not want to go in there. But he followed me - reluctantly - into the round pen. Then he turned around and reared up. Not at me, though. He reared away from me, like he wanted to get the rope out of my hands. Somehow, I didn't loose my cool and got him calmed down. Then sent him back to work! It didn't take him long to apologize for his behavior, and he was good as gold when I tried again in a few minutes. But again I could feel the energy building in him, and got him back in the round pen before he got out of control.

Today I didn't work with him because I felt like crap. I think I have a touch of a stomach bug or something. Anyway, when I got home the round pen was all messed up. Looked like someone had picked it up and moved it about 10 feet, then made one end pointy. Paul said Rambler did it tryin to get out, but dang. That thing is HEAVY! And none of the horses are hurt, miracurously (I know that's spelled way wrong). He wants me to go ahead and turn Rabler out with the others, but I don't quite trust him enough yet. I'm not sure he'd let me catch him and work with him if he was loose all the time right now. But we're building our relationship...

I also walked/ran with Junior yesterday. He seems to be doing just fine. I may ride him - briefly - this weekend, see how he goes with weight on his back again. And yesterday I rode Sunshine around the neighborhood a bit. I tried to ride her down this path that leads to some hog houses, but there were herds of cows on either side of the path, and they were goin CRAZY! I got worried that they'd come through the fence, so I turned around.

June 28 - Rambler

2009-06-28T17:50:00.005-04:00

First, I'll update on Junior. I've hand-walked/jogged him twice so far and he's still good. Yay! I may walk him again tonight, but I seriously doubt it; I'm very tired and I still have to work with Rambler.

Yep, we got a new horse yesterday! This is Paul's 4 year-old Mustang, Wiley's 1/2 brother. They remember each other, its so cute. They had to lassoe him yesterday to get the halter on him, and Paul's daddy brought him over here in a cattle trailer behind a tractor! haha. He's very calm, very loving, loves attention (and food!), but doesn't know anything. He leads, sort of. He's got a lot to learn, that's for sure! We got him yesterday before lunch but I didn't have time to do anything with him. I'm goin out there in a little while to see if he'll let me brush him. I think he's been brushed before, but I'm not sure.

Sunshine is actin like an absolute idiot now. She gets mad when the other 2 go over near Rambler, who's in the round pen for now (I have to be able to trust him enough to know I can catch him out in the pasture before I'll turn him loose). She kicks, bites, squeals, just acts silly. And she's ruined one of the panels in my round pen. And feeding time is such a pain. She HATES it cause Wiley eats in a pen next to Rambler's, and she runs all around and I waste SO much time tryin to get her away from Junior and Wiley and to her own feed pan. Hopefully this crap won't last much longer!

Anyway, here's Rambler. Ain't he cute?? I can't wait to see him in a few months when he's filled out more.

June 15

2009-06-15T19:32:00.002-04:00

I'm so bad about updating this thing. Let's see....I've been busy as usual! I lost 2 riding lesson students due to financial troubles, but I've still got 2. And possibly a 3rd soon. Sunshine is still doing awesome with all the inexperienced rides. I've been able to get on her occasionally and either school her or give her a nice relaxing trail ride, so that's good. I haven't ridden Wiley at all yet this month. I just haven't had time, and when I have, its been raining. But this class will be done with next Tuesday so I'll have more time for riding. Which is good because we're moving Rambler (Paul's horse, Wiley's 1/2 brother) up here next week I guess. He's barely halter broke and he's 4 years old. Fun.

Junior had his hock injection on Friday (June 12 for my records). What a procedure! So technical. It was about 90 degrees outside, but we had to go into our barn so be as sterile as possible. It was closer to 100 degrees in there I bet. We were all sweating like pigs. Paul had to help us. Junior was so sedated that he was leaning on a 45 degree angle the whole time almost! Scarey. I was holding the twitch on his nose and had to hold his head up so he didn't either fall or try to kick the vet. He didn't feel the first injection, but he felt the last 2. It was pretty quick, though. He had to stay confined in a 12x12 pen until this morning, and he was kinda pissy about that, but he's okay.

I turned him back out with the others this morning and the first thing he did was roll in the dirt! Then he walked down to the end of the pasture to eat grass, just ignored the hay I put out. He's a funny guy. I'm so happy, though, that he did so well with everything. Now I have to give him a week before I can start working him again. So next week hopefully I'll be able to tell if this worked!

Memorial Day

2009-05-25T19:18:00.002-04:00

Wow, I've had a busy - and productive - weekend. Days like these make me wish we were rich and I didn't have to have an actual job!

I rode Wiley this morning. He was GREAT. Paul was bushhogging the wood line right beside the arena, and Wiley wasn't too crazy about all the noise. AND the sprinkler was goin in the garden on the other side of the arena, and Wiley wasn't too crazy about that, either. But he didn't do anything about it. He just dealt with it. I was proud! We worked on the same stuff we've been at all week, then I decided to try the canter again. It wasn't working, so I stopped and got my crop. Bingo! He just needed a little encouragement, I guess.

He has an AWESOME canter! He got kinda crazy at it, though, so we've got some work to do. He just got excited, I think, and kind of forgot to listen to me tryin to steer him. But he wasn't unmanageable. I think he was proud of himself. lol. I was proud of US. And did I mention he has a great canter? ( :

May 23

2009-05-23T10:36:00.002-04:00

Things are going well. I rode Sunshine on Tuesday, worked on getting her soft again. Its so hard to keep her soft in the mouth when so many beginners ride her and I don't ride her myself often. But she remembers. I try to ride her myself once or twice a week, keep her tuned up and keep her happy. I think its nice for her to be ridden by someone who doesn't bounce all around on her back sometimes! She's getting to be in such good shape, even though none of my students are cantering yet. When I ride her I usually canter her around the corn field after we work in the arena. Nothing's better than feeling your horse running under you, wind in your face. And on my own land!

Wiley has been doin really well, too. I rode him on Thursday and he was SO much better about slowing down. Usually he races around the arena but he's finally learned to listen to my seat and go slower. I started workin on him giving to the bit. I realize I should have already accomplished this, but remember this is my first time! He's so smart. I also tried to canter him again Thursday. He is totally clueless, though. I could see the wheels workin in his brain, but he just didn't know what I wanted. The only way I can think of is to teach him on the lunge first. But I hate lunging. I plan on working on that this coming week.

I rode him this morning and he was really good again. I did a lot of variations in speed at the trot, and he listened so well. I was proud.

I'm hoping tomorrow I can ride him and Paul can get some pics of us together. I have no idea what I look like on him in the english saddle. Maybe I can even persuade him to get a video so I can see him moving...! ( :

May 17

2009-05-17T20:10:00.002-04:00

Wow, I can't believe I haven't updated this thing since the beginning of the month. Sorry. Okay, quick rundown...Junior was diagnosed with advanced degenerative joint disease in his right hock only, caused by an OCD lesion in there. Poor thing. Wait, did I already type all this? Feels like I did...anyway...I've started him on Cosequin daily, and he's gonna have a joint injection. We're tryin to figure out when. The vet called on Friday and wants to do it on Memorial Day but I've already got plans to go to Pepperwood (!) for the day. So I'll have to talk to her more tomorrow. Hopefully she'll just do it on a Saturday, that way I'll be able to watch him for most of the 2 days he'll have to be confined afterwards. But otherwise, he's fine. Doesn't act like his joint is fallin apart!

Wiley has been a mess lately. I haven't been ridin him because the last two times I tried it was awful. He was spooky and totally ignored everything I did. So I've been doin nothin but groundwork for weeks with him. Friday, I finally decided to ride him in the new english saddle. He was GREAT! We did groundwork first and he was fine. All I did was walk/trot, and not much of that, but it was nice to actually not feel like I was gonna die on him. lol.

I rode him again yesterday morning and he was great again. I pushed him a little harder, a little longer at the trot. I have to work on rating him. He likes to go his own speed, really really fast then barely moving. Its annoying. But I'll work on it. I'm just happy he's not tryin to kill me!!

Of course, now I'm about to start summer class, so I'll be dreadfully busy for the next 5 weeks. And then I think we're movin Paul's horse - Wiley's 1/2 brother - up here. And he is totally untrained. So that'll be a big project. But I can do it. ( :

I'm lookin forward to goin up to Pepperwood for the day! Crystal says I can ride some of the dressage horses. I'm skeptical, but hopeful. Hopefully I can learn somethin that day...if not, at least I'll be immersed in dressage for a few hours! No one around here even knows what dressage is.... *sigh*

Junior

2009-05-01T22:18:00.002-04:00

Well, the vet came out today to do a lameness exam on Junior. First, she put the hoof testers on him. No problems there. Then, she did a flexion test. He was fine on both front legs and his left hind fetlock. His left hock was "a little positive" she said. And his right hind fetlock and hock were very positive. :(

After that I lunged him for her and she could easily see how lame he is in his right hind. Then she lunged him so I could see. Once she pointed out to me, it was SO obvious. I knew somethin was goin on back there, and you can feel it on his back, but I didn't know what I was lookin for exactly. I have zero experience with lameness until now. So she took x-rays of both hocks and his right fetlock (which was kind of difficult because I only have 2 outlets outside and one was inaccessible due to the flower bed (!) and the other was less than ideal because we had nothing to tie Junior to there and it took the 2 of us to work the film and machine!).

She's going to develop the films tomorrow morning and call me, but she suspects arthritis. Which really sucks. Junior is only 12 years old. She said no matter what, she wants him on Cosequin Optimize for at least 3 months. OMG do you know how expensive that stuff is?!? THEN, if the x-rays show arthritis, she's recommending Legend injections. I think she said one injection every 7-10 days for...several weeks I believe. Legend is insanely expensive, too. I'm getting depressed.

I'm glad we're thisclose to knowin what's wrong with Junior finally, but dang this is gonna be expensive. And of course, there's no guarantee that I'll even be able to ride him again, which really sucks. I asked the vet what if the x-rays are clean. She said she didn't know. She's pretty sure arthritis is the problem, and that's why he's been sore other places, cause he's so tense and holding himself in ways to protect his bad leg. Poor baby. :( At least if nothing else, he'll finally have some relief from his pain, even if I can't ever ride him again. But why does it have to be so darned expensive??!

wiley again

2009-04-26T20:38:00.002-04:00

Well, today we went to the local tack shop. It was a real treat for me cause I hardly ever go to tacks shops any more. There is only one real one around here, and its a right good drive. I wanted to buy a new saddle for Wiley because the one I've been using is Paul's mother's and I need to give it back. Plus its not very comfortable, and Wiley is outgrowin it, and I want to ride him english, not western. I also wanted to get a new bridle for him because he is fast outgrowin his and I wanted one with a noseband.

So anyway, the tack store around here caters mainly to barrel racers and trail riders. Lots of barrel racers in this area. They just started stockin english stuff a few years ago, and most of the time its used stuff. Today they didn't have any new saddles. But that was fine with me, I don't mind used. I found a decent-lookin hunt seat saddle that looked like it would fit Wiley okay. (The shop owner is good about lettin you bring back stuff if it don't work out, so I wasn't worried.) I got it (and it came with stirrups and leathers), a brand-new bridle, and an almost-new (doesn't even look worn but it didn't have tags) girth for $100. Pretty good, eh? The saddle is in good condition. You can tell its used, like the flaps are scuffed up some but the billets are in good shape and it doesn't look awful or unsafe. I'm not planning on showing any time soon, at least not on Wiley, so it was fine for me.

Thankfully, it actually fits him pretty good. I'll have to ride in it to know for sure, but on the ground its good. The girth is almost too small so I'll have to get a bigger one soon, but for now we can deal. And the bridle fits perfect! Wiley looks so CUTE english! Now if I can just get him to act halfway decent...!

Tonight at feeding time I went out there with the buckets as usual. Sunshine and Junior went to their feed bowls as usual and waited for me. Wiley USUALLY goes to his bowl in the round pen (where he's been eatin at since I got him) but not tonight. He didn't act scared, he acted like he didn't know he was supposed to eat in there. He would NOT go in there. I finally gave up and fed the other two, but I had to guard Junior because he will let Wiley steal his food. Wiley wouldn't let me herd him in there, and wouldn't let me get near him so I said to heck with it and he just didn't get supper. He just got hay with everyone else. Later he was pawin at the round pen tryin to get to his food but I had locked the door. Maybe he'll learn to behave! Crazy colt. I wasn't too worried about him not eatin, though, since they were out in the ridin arena eatin grass for several hours today.

Well that's enough ramblin for tonight! ( :

never a dull moment

2009-04-25T21:29:00.002-04:00

Well, as usual, a lot has been goin on. I now have 2 lesson kids - yeah! I had a woman stop by last Saturday and was interested for her son but I haven't heard from her again. People just don't want to pay the $$ around here. But 2's good. Sunshine is doin great for the kids. I'm so proud of her. I was NOT proud of her today when I gave her a bath - she acted ridiculous. I forgot how much she hates to be sprayed with water. She's gotta get over that. You'd think after all this time she'd be cool with it.

Junior has gotten worse. The new vet is comin out next Friday to do an exam on him. She said at her last visit (just to do shots) that she suspected his problem was in his hocks. After the farrier came out last Friday, I am leaning towards agreeing with her. Junior did not want to pick his feet up to put them on the stand to be rasped, but only the back feet, and it was worse on the right side. And we tested his back and it was really sore. :( But out in the pasture he's totally fine.

Wiley...oh Wiley. I've about had it with him lately. After that disastrous ride on Easter, I haven't tried to ride him. I went back to ground work. I did ground work with him several times, and he was doin really well. His ground manners are pretty awesome right now. BUT he's so scared of everything. I have tried and tried to despook him and he's just a wuss. Even out in the pasture he jumps at every little noise.

Anyway, since he'd been bein so good on the ground, yesterday I decided to ride him after some initial ground work. I got on him and walked around in the area that is as of this morning my new riding arena (!) and when we got close to the house, he freaked out. Nothing had changed since the night before when he was out there, it wasn't even really windy last night. So, tryin not to have a repeat of Easter, I got off him and walked him around, showed him that there was no monsters around, and did some more ground work with him. That's when he started showin his tail.

I wanted him to go in a circle around me, not really lunging since I just had the lead rope, just move away from me and be a big boy. He did fine one direction, but the other he just broke down. Would NOT go and when I pressured him, he reared up at me! He's NEVER done that before. I worked and worked with him for over an hour. He and I both were sweatin like crazy, and I was feelin light headed, but I finally got him to do it so I stopped for the night. While I was coolin him out I noticed his left eye was swollen almost shut. At first I thought maybe the end of the lead rope had popped him and hurt his eye, but I only popped his shoulder, not his head. Then I put two and two together and figured out that was why he didn't want to go that direction, cause he couldn't see out of that eye. I felt really bad until I remembered him rearin up at me. That is unacceptable, no matter how your eye is. I guess he didn't know another way to try to tellme, though.

Anyway, I called the vet and had to drive to her house (almost 30 minutes) to pick up some eye ointment and Banamine paste. I flushed his eye out with saline, put the ointment in there, and wouldn't you know this mornin its totally fine??! I'm still doin everything she said, just as a precautionary, but I think he's fine. I have no idea what it could have been, but I'm so glad it wasn't anything serious.

I'm gonna let him chill probably tomorrow, but Monday its back to work! I think tomorrow I'm gonna try to find him a saddle and bridle. I think I want to start ridin him english, but my saddle is too big for him.

Oh yes, this mornin Paul and I got up super early so we could get my riding arena fence up before he had to open Thornton Nursery at 7:30. We got it done except for the gate, which we finished tonight. I think it looks great. I'll post pics tomorrow if I remember. We put up one strand of white poly rope and 2 strands of white poly tape (we would have used all poly tape but we didn't think we'd have enough to go around 3 times, but it turned out that we did so we may decide to do that top strand over with tape). It looks very neat and tidy, and very visible, which is what I wanted. I'm happy with it. I've never had my own actual riding arena. And as a bonus I'm gonna use it as another turn-our for the horses. ( :

sigh

2009-04-12T18:37:00.002-04:00

Happy Easter. Easter is a big deal, and I am so grateful that Jesus died for me, and I'm in awe that He then rose from the dead. Its awesome. But right now I'm having trouble being enthused.

I've not had the best of days, and earlier this afternoon I decided to ride Wiley, thinking that would help my mood some. Oh, no. It was the worst ride I've ever had on him. Granted, I haven't ridden him in 2 weeks (since we cantered), but that's not anything unusual for him, and time off doesn't usually bother him. He was extremely spooky, wouldn't listen to me, even ran away with me a few times - not far, but still. I got off him once and lunged him in the round pen for a few minutes, and that seemed to help some. Then I got back on him and he just found another issue. I was so frustrated, and then he got frustrated and his brain completely shut down. When he gets like that (and I get like that), we just need a breather and usually we're fine. Not today. It just kept gettin worse.

He was havin a lot of trouble with this one spot. Not sure why, its a spot that he can see easily from the pasture, nothing scary there, just a water trough. But today, it was a big monster. I got off him and lead him up to it a few times and he was totally fine, but as soon as I got on him again, he freaked out over it. I don't know what was going on. I'm sure some of the problem was I was beyond frustrated at that point. I usually have a lot of patience with Wiley (and other horses), but today I had to put him up before I totally lost it. :(

I put him up, then thought about it and got him back out. I didn't have the energy to get on him, though, so I just worked with him on some ground stuff. Just to make sure he understood that I'm still the alpha around here. He's totally fine on the ground, its the under saddle stuff where we have issues. Today, at least. Oh well, I guess every ride can't be a good one, right?

So now I'm chillin in the house, drinkin a small glass of wine and waitin to go eat supper at Grandma's. Maybe the rest of the evening will be better.

brief update

2009-04-02T19:48:00.002-04:00

Well, I'm gettin sick again. I've got all the early symptoms of a sinus infection. I'm tryin my best to stop it, but I have a feelin its here to stay a while. :( I'm supposed to go to a horse clinic with Mary-Marshall on Saturday in Stokesdale, but I doubt I'll make it. Usually when I start feelin like I have today, within 2-3 days I'm absolutely miserable. And of course I'll be sick over this beautiful weekend we're supposed to have. Anyway.

Yesterday, I felt fine so I decided to work with Junior some more. I took him on a 20 minute walk. Not with me on him, I walked beside him. We walked down the road to this path that goes to a hog farm. I got some strange looks! I had fun, though. He always matches his pace with mine. I can walk realllly slow and he'll drag his feet, and if I walk really fast or skip, he'll jog with me. Anyway, we took it easy, just alternated walking and jogging, nothing major. When we got back, I palpated his back and he was fine except for behind his right shoulder - right where the saddle would sit. I don't get it. (I palpated his back before the walk and he had no sore spots.) What gives? How can a horse be "saddle sore" if he doesn't wear a saddle?!?

Sunshine has really been tickin me off lately. Sunday, I put them all out in the other pasture for a few hours to eat grass, and when I went to get them, she ran from me. For an HOUR. I could have killed her! She was good on Monday for my lesson kid, and then yesterday after I walked Junior I was gonna let them all eat grass in the yard (like I do almost every day). Sunshine wouldn't let me catch her again. So I just let the boys eat, and she paced the fence. Oh well. Maybe she'll learn that she canNOT act like that!

woohoo!

2009-03-24T19:25:00.002-04:00

Today was a very successful day for me. I rode Wiley and he was really fast, especially at the trot, but good. We gotta work on slowing down. He listens to my seat really well at the sitting trot, but not when I post. I guess me moving around makes him nervous, even though I'm pretty smooth about it. I decided that today would be the day I tried to canter him. I know I said before that I would introduce him to the canter cue on the lunge, but I just don't lunge him much any more. I wanted to wean him away from havin to be lunged before every ride, and I have. I hate lunging, so I try to avoid it.

Anyway. We were trotting along and I just asked for the canter like I would a normal horse. I think I said the word too, but I can't remember. He picked it right up! He was the SMOOTHEST canter, too! I didn't keep him in it long, because he got a little nervous and was tossing his head. I didn't want him to freak out. So after a few minutes, I got him back to the trot and asked for the cnater again. I guess the first time was a fluke cause this time he stopped dead. LoL. After about 3 more attemps (where each time he just slammed on breaks!) he finally picked it up. I quit after he cantered a few strides. I was so proud! I probably should have made him keep goin, but I was so excited that he actually DID it and his canter is AWESOME that I just had to stop and praise him. I love that colt. There is no way I can ever sell him.

I lunged Junior for anohter 5 minutes yesterday. He still looks good! I'm gonna slowly increase his time and hopefully eventually get on his back, but he needs to build muscle first so at least ONE of my saddles will fit him.

beautiful day

2009-03-22T18:40:00.002-04:00

The day is drawing to a close, and I'm sad about that. I've had such a great day. Paul and I slept in a little this morning (8), had a great breakfast, went to church, ate with my family, and we've been just together most of the day.

I even got him to ride with me!! He rode Sunshine and I rode Wiley. We stayed in the pasture for a while until I was pretty sure Wiley would be okay riding with someone else - it was his first time. Then we decided to go into the field next to our land. We rode all around it - Wiley's first time really out of the yard or pasture, ever. He was pretty good, but I discovered that he does NOT like to be in the back. And he walks REALLY fast. It was annoying, but he wasn't really bad. He got upset with me a few times when I argued about him wanting to lead. When we got back I decided to teach him that just because we're back from a trail ride it doesn't mean he's done for the day - I don't want him to start rushing home. So I worked him in the pasture a little. He was really good. I trotted him all around, over trot poles (for the first time). I guess it was a day of firsts. His steering is getting a LOT better, too. I'm happy with our progress. I think next time I'm gonna work up the nerve to canter. I was gonna do it today but while I was working Wiley, Paul decided to ride Sunshine down the driveway and over to the field and Junior couldn't see her anymore and freaked out. He was running back and forth down the pasture, and it kinda upset Wiley, naturally. So I called it a day after I got him calmed down. All in all, a great ride. And I was happy that Paul was with me. ( :

I lunged Junior yesterday for about 5 minutes and he looked GREAT. Springy trot (haven't seen that in a while!) and even canter. I didn't ask for the canter, but he did so I let him for a few seconds. I was so happy with how he looked. And he seems to be fine today. I'm gonna lunge him again tomorrow and hopefully several times this week.

Oh! I almost forgot about my lesson kid yesterday. Man. She's apparently had about 8 months of instruction, but you can't tell. I've decided to basically start over with this one. She has pretty good natural balance, and is good about keeping her heels down most of the time. But that's about it. She knows how to post, but she has to hold the saddle, and she can't steer when she's posting. And she doesn't really know how to stop trotting. After 8 months, my student better know how to post the trot without holding on AND steer! So I have a lot of work to do, but its good. Sunshine was pretty good for her, not great but okay. She tested the poor kid. She has a bad habit with kids of trying to pull the reins out of their fingers. I don't know how to stop her because she doesn't do it with me. She just knows they'll let her do it. I put her on the lunge and that helped, but I don't want to have Sunshine on the lunge all the time, its not good for her back. Anyway. I do love a challenge!

whoops!

2009-03-18T20:25:00.003-04:00

So I kind of forgot about my blog for a while there. Sorry. I've had so much going on. As usual!

Being married is great, we finally have our rythm down, our schedule or whatever. Its good. Paul's very helpful around the house, with is nice. He hasn't learned to wash clothes yet, but that's okay. He does a lot around here.

My cat, Jordan, finally settled down and he seems to love being an "only child." He's asleep on Paul's lap right now. ( :

My horses are doin pretty well. The vet came out last Friday and gave them shots. Junior and Sunshine both had reactions to the West Nile/EWT one, but they're better now. We didn't do anything with Junior because it was raining and I was worried he'd slip in the wet grass. But his back has been a LOT better lately. I can brush him and press all over his back and he's fine. The new vet (who I love, by the way!) suggested I start working with him a little and see how he goes. She said to pay close attention to his hocks. She's thinkin that may be the culprit here, and he's overcompensating in the rest of his body for a problem in the hocks. Makes sense to me, but we'll see. I started riding Sunshine last weekend and at the beginning of last week, but I felt awful the rest of the week. I think I was fighting some stomach bug that's goin around here. I finally got better and then it rained for 4 days! The pastures are basically swamps right now, and the cows are out where my riding arena is supposed to be. So I'm limited on where I can ride until the ground dries a little. And I have a lesson kid comin on Saturday! I gotta get crackin. Sunshine's so out of shape. Luckily, I've never seen this kid ride so we won't be doin much on Saturday, and I'm pretty sure she's a beginner.

I did a dumb thing today. I groomed all the horses while they were grazing in the other pasture, then I was feeding them treats after I put them up in their own pasture. For some reason I got my finger in Sunshine's mouth and couldn't get it out and she bit down HARD on it! I screamed it hurt so bad. Broke the skin - actually, it tore a hunk of skin and meat off! It was numb until a while ago, now it just hurts and that raw meat is sensitive to everything, of course. Stupid me! THAT'S why you give horses treats with a flat hand, kids!

Today I worked with Wiley in the trailer. He loads great with me, but I wanted to teach him to self-load. He was doing it in about 5 minutes. Maybe less. That colt is so darned smart!! I love him. ( :

married

2009-02-26T21:08:00.002-05:00

Well, we're back from the honeymoon. We've been busy as bees since we returned. We are still in the getting organized stage. I think we'll be here a while!

Today we moved my horses over. They were all great. Wiley loaded up on the first try! I love that colt. They seem to be settled in pretty well. I'm about to go check on them one last time for the night. I'd love to hop on Sunshine tomorrow and ride around the fields, just for fun. ( :

Charleston was great. We were very tired the whole time, though. We walked everywhere we went pretty much. And then we took random walks throughout the day. Yesterday after breakfast at the hotel we walked for around an hour through downtown. We toured a historic home, visited 2 plantations, took a carriage ride, did a ghost tour (where we went to the city's oldest graveyard - 1600s! - after dark!), and ate a LOT of seafood. And took 350-something pictures. Which I am in the process of uploading now. Hopefully I'll get them on my Shutterfly site tomorrow. And hopefully I can get some wedding pics from people soon. I didn't take any with my camera, so I'm waiting on people. My photographer said it would be about 4 weeks before hers were done. But she usually finishes before she says.

My new vet was supposed to come tomorrow, but we've been playing phone tag for a while now so Im' not really sure. I called her last Thursday I believe, and she hasn't returned my call yet. I forgot to call her today, we were so busy. So hopefully I can get up with her in the morning and see what's going on...my babies are due for their shots and I want her to examine Junior. ASAP. I had a guy at church a few Sundays ago ask me about riding lessons for his daughter.

Oh! And my old client has asked me to start working on her mare again soon. I'm excited about that. I gotta get in shape, though. I have done virtually NO riding this winter. But that's about to change!! ( :

2009-02-21T22:43:00.002-05:00

i'm married!! wedding was beautiful, perfect, couldn't have asked for better. charleston SC tomorrow!!! ( :